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Snake

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Posts posted by Snake

  1. Posted

    Snake Lee I like this list thing you got started. let's let other people finish there lists first, before we talk about them, keep to the topic of Southland Tales to it's group. boy I forgot about Kung Fu Hustle.. good pick.

     

    it's up to you, it's your thread.

     

    I was trying to imagine a world where people could order people around on a message board just because they started a thread and it was basically a dystopian nightmare. I doubt that is what you meant but it gave me pause.

     

    Anyways, the idea I was thinking about was more along the lines of "which movies would be the most cathartic for you to watch get ripped apart" instead of merely "what would be the funniest?" It does kill me I forgot about Cat in the Hat though, good call Slide Pocket. That should have really made my list.

  2. Posted

    The Robert Ebert. com review by some guy who is not Robert Ebert says:

     

    The story is implausible in ways both big (why would Wyatt entrust this top-secret plan to a self-centered hothead like Adam?) and small (unless the film is set in a world in which "A View to a Kill" really happened, why are all the big tech firms suddenly located in mid-town Manhattan?) and asks viewers to care about one selfish jerk trying to worm his way out of being the pawn of two other selfish jerks. For his part, Luketic tries to mask the narrative shortcomings with a lazily flashy visual style and a staggeringly irritating score that uses cell phone sounds as a recurring motif. Sadly, the rest of the film is so draggy that I kept wanting to pick up and see if there was something more interesting on the other end.

     

    So probably just boring-terrible

     

    http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/paranoia-2013

  3. Posted

    There's many films that I would personally love for HDTGM to tackle, but I'm going to suggest ones that I think would actually work well and aren't super obscure.

     

    Southland Tales -- DO IT. Come on, seriously, this is so fucking ripe for HDTGM. It's not actually a straight up terrible film (in my opinion); it's just that there's so much packed into the movie and very little of it makes any sense. This would be an awesome one and I'm actually surprised it hasn't been done already.

     

    Wow wait what is this movie? I was just looking into it and it looks like a movie that Glenn Beck wrote on acid then found the most liberal actors in Hollywood for the cast.

  4. Posted

    I think this would be a fun exercise. I would say try to keep it to movies that would make for a good episode and so don't list movies that were just terrible and boring like Ed Gein or something. In order, I would say my top 5 are:

     

    1.) The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

     

    - This movie makes no sense and I can't say I've ever been more annoyed by a movie on a scene by scene basis. It ended Sean Connery's career

     

    2.) Gothika

     

    -Terse atmospheric drama but if you think about what is actually happening, it is one of the most tasteless and illogical movies ever. The big name cast makes it all the more crazy.

     

    3.) The Mothman Prophecies

     

    -"Based on a true story" - all that I need to say

     

    4.) Jade

     

    -I think this would make a great episode. Such a legendarily bad movie

     

    5.) Nutcracker 3D

     

    -I half-watched this at a family thing a few years ago without knowing anything about it and I felt like my head was going to explode. Just an awful movie but there is so much material in here

  5. Posted

    I have a dream that one day even on the movie nerd site of HDTGM, a site sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice where people can appreciate a fantasy football nerd talking about a movie he wrote.

     

    I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the type of nerd they are but by the content of their character.

     

    I have a dream today

    • Like 1

  7. Posted

    Looking at the IMDB, Keenan Thompson, Paul Reubens, Fred Armisen, Hank Azaria, John Oliver, Jayma Mills, and some other people I'm sure they are at very least friends of friends with are in this movie. That is a pretty good defense.

     

    Not to mention, Andy Daly was in Yogi Bear. Whoever is making these terrible movies really knows how to insulate themselves from podcast hate. I guess as long as these guys are getting paychecks more power to them, but I wouldn't mind seeing more of this:

     

    http://www.thedailys...fer-love-hewitt

  9. Posted

    I think this movie would make a great episode. The plot goes everywhere with totally bizarre turns, it ruined David Caruso's movie career before it even started, like Blueberry Face says Angie E's death alone should make this a must do, it gets a 16% on rotten tomatoes, etc.

     

    Also, the rotten tomatoes reviewer quote blurbs are all things like "more degrading than some porn films" and "Post-viewing showers should be mandatory," while the 5 star Amazon reviews have priceless lines like "You CANNOT go wrong with a William Friedkin movie. I repeat: You CANNOT go wrong with a William Friedkin movie" and "It's still a whole much better than any porn movie that usually bores the heck out of you after 5 minutes."

     

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wCOTCidfNk

  14. Posted

    How has nobody else responded to this thread yet? This would make such an amazing episode. I don't know how it is possible to have such an illogical movie.

     

    Also - as Ryan Sz notes - there are huge stars in this movie and the plot is beyond tasteless. *spoilers* It is hilarious to think that Halle, P-Cruz and RDJr all on their own read this script and went "oh, so the twist is that her husband and this other prison guy were running train on a bunch of women for snuff films" and then signed up. I mean, aren't things like that the whole reason for this podcast? Can you imagine Halle Berry trying to explain this movie to her family or something as she was signing up to work on it? "Oh yeah Mom, come to the premier of my new movie! It's about these ghosts who were gang raped to death in prison. It's right up your alley!"

     

    Also, it came in second in the box office it's first week which isn't bad......except it was to The Cat in the Hat. I really don't know why either of these movies haven't been done yet, it's mind boggling

    • Like 1

  17. Posted

    Ah sorry for not seeing the old one. I tried searching the forums but it didn't show up and I went back months to see if I could find it. How do the mods/admins find the old ones so fast? Just an encyclopedic knowledge of the forums or is there a better way to search?

  19. Posted

    I have not seen this, but it has been brought up a lot this week since JMcC got the View spot. I have now seen a few clips of it though, including this gem:

     

     

    And also spawned this Rober Ebert Review: http://www.rogereber...dirty-love-2005 - where he says:

     

    "I would like to say more, but-no, I wouldn't. I would not like to say more. I would like to say less. On the basis of "Dirty Love," I am not certain that anyone involved has ever seen a movie, or knows what one is. I would like to invite poor Jenny McCarthy up here to the Toronto Film Festival, where I am writing this review while wonderful films are playing all over town, and get her a pass, and require her to go to four movies a day until she gets the idea."

     

    It also gets a 4% on Rotten Tomatoes. Yikes

  20. Posted

    This movie is insane. It's a children's movie about how the gates of hell are essentially opening in this family's house and this evil cat from another dimension is trying to ruin their lives. There are jokes that are too dirty for most of the parents in there and they're not even remotely hidden.

  21. Posted

    The movie is bad, but it did not kill Sean Connery's career. It's just that Connery thought he was too old to act in films and gradually retired. I have read that he is still offered roles, but keeps turning them down.

     

    I have found numerous places saying he quit as a direct result of this movie. I was going to list a few sites in a row like this:

     

    1.) What happened to Sean Connery? The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen happened to Sean Connery. Now granted, this was far from the first flop of Connery’s career, but it was apparently one he felt so personally embarrassed by that he decided to retire from acting altogether.

    http://www.hollywood.com/news/movies/7809746/m-i-a-sean-connery?page=all

     

    But then I clicked on a bunch of conspiracy theory websites by accident and I'm at work, so I stopped. Mainly beacuse I don't want the IT guys coming down and talking to me about aliens or something, thinking I'm interested.

     

    It is especially good to do now, since Fox just announced they are making a TV series on it

     

    http://www.wired.com/underwire/2013/07/league-extraordinary-gentlemen-tv/

  23. Posted

    Maybe it wouldn't work then? I remember thinking WTF the entire time I was watching it, but I had a really hard time paying attention. I would just zone out and there would be a pedophile priest hallucinating, then i would zone out and it was this other weird thing. The plot didn't hold together at all. There are certainly better movies though

  24. Posted

    I was digging in the crates here and saw someone recommended this - this movie would be perfect for the podcast. I am genuinely curious how it got made, too. The script makes no sense, the end half of the movie gets really weird, there is little reference to the show...I don't understand why they chose this for the script.

     

    SPOILER - Plus it's super religious and the villain is a pedophile priest. I mean come on....

  25. Posted

    Shannon I think you should just lock this thread down. if paul and the gang are not going to do this movie it's only going to get worse as people join this group and request this film. You should post something in the lines of we are not doing this film so quit asking for it. LOCKED Topic... thats how other message boards would deal with this subject.

     

    I think they should troll people a little harder, though. Paul should release a minisode announcing they are going to do it, then the next week they should do a different movie like League of Extraordinary Gentlement and reupload a different minisode, so if people go back and check it will match the new movie they did. He could do the same questions for the second part and everything. Then they should lock this thread and aggresively moderate the threads for those podcasts, so no mention of it comes through.

    • Like 1
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