sillstaw
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Everything posted by sillstaw
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It was unendingly hilarious when the first edition of the DVD of the first part* came out with a description on the back claiming it was a tale of sacrifice, and they had to rush to replace it with "heroic self-interest." It's also hilarious to realize that this was a project getting kicked around Hollywood for years, with actresses like Angelina Jolie and Charlize Theron considering the lead female role, which now went to the lead of a short-lived NBC drama and, in the sequel, the female lead from "Super Mario Brothers." * Whoever decided that this was a 3-part series was delusional. It makes sense for something like "Lord of the Rings," where there's a bunch of stuff happening over three books, but when your book ends with a long speech, maybe you should just consider editing.
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It's hard to say who would be a better guest if they did this one (assuming, of course, that either of them would ever agree to it): William Friedkin, the director of the movie, who has to have some interesting stories about what he had to go through to get the movie released; or James Franco, who made the "homo-sex-art-film" "Interior. Leather Bar." that explores ideas based on the 40 minutes of cut hardcore gay sex footage from this movie.
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Tom Arnold did a Random Roles for the AV Club, and admitted that he constantly asked John Landis if the material was funny. And, when Nathan Rabin covered it for My Year of Flops, he pointed out that it came out the weekend after another Tom Arnold vehicle, "Carpool." To quote, "For a brief shining moment, audiences had their choice of which dire-looking Tom Arnold movie not to see."
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NO.
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In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
sillstaw replied to Chrisg's topic in Bad Movie Recommendations
Generally, the actors he works with haven't had a whiff of success in years. Jason Statham seems to be the only one who wasn't on a career downslide when he worked with Boll. I mean, Burt Reynolds and Matthew Lillard? (Lillard was good in "The Descendants," and I've heard good things about his directorial debut, but at the time, his most recent successful movies were "Scooby-Doo 2" and "Without a Paddle.") -
How can you hate a movie that contains the line, "Everybody needs money. That's why they call it 'money!'"
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In fairness, the people who attend Cannes are very vocal when they hate the movies they watch. "The Brown Bunny" also got a lot of hecklers; Roger Ebert defended himself from criticism when he started whistling during the movie because almost nobody else would have been able to hear him. But yeah, this movie would be worth considering just for the "Nicole Kidman pees on Zac Efron" thing. (Heck, it'd be worth considering because Zac Efron is in it. Besides "Hairspray" and maybe that Orson Welles movie, I don't think he's been in a good movie yet.) Everything else about it just adds to the cake. Especially the fact that it's directed by the guy who made "Precious" (or, as I think of it, "Pity the Black Girl: The Movie"), as well as a movie where Helen Mirren and Cuba Gooding Jr. play lovers who are also assassins. (And he's currently working on a movie where Nixon, Eisenhower and Reagan are played by John Cusack, Robin Williams and Alan Rickman, respectively.)
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Highlander II: The Quickening (1991)
sillstaw replied to JSacks06's topic in Bad Movie Recommendations
That "Chronicles of Riddick" game was pretty cool. (And I say this as someone who hasn't even seen "Pitch Black," let alone the other Riddick movie.) ETA: It's too bad that reboot of the "Highlander" movies they were proposing a while back fell apart. They had the director of "28 Weeks Later"* and the guy who's been making all the recent "Fast & Furious" movies** attached to direct at various times, and they wanted Ryan "Green Lantern" Reynolds to play Connor MacLeod. It's like they were trying to make a movie expressly so it would show up on "How Did This Get Made?" * This guy was also attached to "Bioshock" and the remake of "The Crow" that was supposed to star Bradley Cooper before they fell apart as well. It's actually surprising that he's ever directed a movie at all, given that he tends to attach himself to movies that end up in development hell. ** To be fair, he has made at least one decent movie, "Better Luck Tomorrow." -
Fun story: Milla Jovovich went on an incoherent Twitter rampage on this movie's US opening weekend, blasting Summit Entertainment for not promoting the movie enough. She repeated that it was a "fun family adventure film" so often it seemed like a Tourette's symptom. (Apparently, a PG-13 movie with lots of swordfighting and things blowing up is fun for all ages.)
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Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans (2009)
sillstaw replied to DreamingStarkly's topic in Bad Movie Recommendations
Werner Herzog had nothing to do with "Irreversible." Gaspar Noe directed that one. -
It's freaky just how dead-on the Photoshop on this page is, despite being made two years ago.
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The director did NOT do gay porn. He made movies like "Sweet Movie" (where a woman has sex with a sailor in a vat of sugar, then stabs him, getting blood all over the sugar) and "W.R. Mysteries of the Organism" (part Communist protest, part documentary about William Reich, part sex film). So really, this movie is one of his LESS weird films.
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A while back, HDTGM put a poll up on Facebook asking their fans to choose the next movie they'd do. This was one of the three choices. The other two, "Mac and Me" and "Skyline," have since been covered. Since then, Paul has commented that he thinks the movie isn't fun-bad; it's just depressingly bad. And, having seen it, I have to agree: It's basically a big nothing of a movie. There are a few WTF elements (Eli Whitney's nuclear cannonballs, the out-of-nowhere lizard man fight, Jonah's power to resurrect the dead—which I understand isn't in the original comics), but overall the movie is just forgettable.
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Do a Paul WS Anderson movie and have Paul Thomas Anderson guest
sillstaw replied to Lando's topic in Bad Movie Recommendations
I don't think he'd ever guest; he's quite reclusive. (Although, if they know Maya Rudolph, they may have an in.) It would be amazing as hell, though. ETA: I'd endorse "Three Musketeers" solely off of the trailer. I recall there being a zeppelin/blimp, Milla Jovovich fighting people, and lots of stuff being thrust at the audience (though nothing quite as creative as the skull in "Drive Angry"). As someone on the forum I used to frequent at the time said, I'd love to see the book report some kid will turn in after watching this movie... -
5% on Rotten Tomatoes. Yes, somebody actually gave it a positive review. Go figure.
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Are you sure you're not thinking of Steve Martin? Hackman's been retired since "Welcome to Mooseport" (really, Gene?!). But there are lots of examples of this kind of thing. Laurence Olivier's later career was all about this; he knew that, since he didn't have long to live, he'd take whatever roles paid a lot so he could leave his family lots of cash. And, in a fairly rare example that produced a classic, Kareem Abdul-Jabar only took his role in "Airplane!" to buy an oriental rug. (Apparently sports figures haven't always been paid like they are nowadays.)
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The Asylum always has a cheap cash-in available for every potential blockbuster. (Except for superhero movies, bizarrely enough.)
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I'm surprised nobody in the thread has mentioned the major criticism of it from the AV Club's review of it: There's almost no Death Racing in the movie!
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Didn't know this was out on DVD. And it's on Amazon Instant... hoo boy. I loved reading about the opening scene, to quote Leonard Maltin:
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Sadly, no. Although he did have one good line in his capsule review:
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A bad-movie website I used to frequent did a recap of this movie, and it actually got the attention of the director, Christopher Coppola. According to his one short forum post, they kind of got screwed out of their budget by another movie. Maybe if you could get him on to explain the ordeal...
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MOD NOTE: Please check existing threads before posting a new one
sillstaw replied to Shannon's topic in Bad Movie Recommendations
Knowing how persistent it is, somebody would probably overlook that it had been done and suggest it anyway. -
What was Adrien Brody thinking? Probably, "Well, my last few high-profile-ish movies were 'High School' and 'Predators.' What do I have to lose?" ...just wow. I mean, this might be one of the first things I've ever seen that tries so hard to be offensive (slave jokes! Gay jokes! Asian jokes!) that it not only forgets to be funny, but it can't even be offensive. For one thing, that would require a point of view, something this movie lacks entirely. I also recall hearing about Vince Offer's first movie, "The Underground Comedy Movie." There's a "sketch" involving a superhero named Dickman who sprays his enemies with semen, which goes to show that he has somehow failed to develop any kind of sense of humor in nearly fifteen years. One last cheap shot: Offer is an ex-Scientologist. This may be the first time I've ever felt like Scientology had good taste.
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Bruce Campbell might be a fun guest if they did it, although from what I read in his autobiography, there may not be much for him to say about it. (Basically: He accepted the movie in part because it meant he'd get to travel around Costa Rica on Paramount Pictures' dime, since he was barely required in the movie. He was also miffed that the producers and director didn't want him to deviate from the script at all, not even to insert an "um" in the dialogue. His guess was that the writer—who also wrote "Moonstruck" and went on to make "Doubt"—had a clause in his contract saying his writing couldn't be changed.)
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Playback (C. Slater) - Lowest grossing movie of 2012 (less than $300)
sillstaw replied to owen.global's topic in Bad Movie Recommendations
I recall watching the trailer a while back and getting the impression that it's basically a low-budget "The Ring" ripoff. (Why you would want to rip that movie off at all is beyond me.) The Wikipedia page is paltry and doesn't do much to dispute the idea. It's almost a dare. Also, wasn't this available on iTunes before it came out in theaters? Most movies from Magnet Releasing/Magnolia Pictures seem to do that nowadays. If so, that might be part of the reason it made such a paltry gross; if you have the choice between watching a recent Christian Slater movie in public or in private, do you really expect people to choose to see it in public?
