sillstaw
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Everything posted by sillstaw
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There was an animated movie he did called "Sir Billi" fairly recently, but if the videos I saw long ago were any indication, that movie just proves your point.
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"STOP EATING MY SESAME CAKE!"
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The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle
sillstaw replied to Gludream's topic in Bad Movie Recommendations
Are you implying "The Muppet Movie" was shitty? Come on! -
Quite simply, the most implausible sci-fi movie ever. Not because of the constant cloning or the creepy dolls that kids are crazy about. No, just because it proposes that the most popular sports league in the future is the XFL.
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Old people save the day. OLD PEOPLE. Also, I would like to thank the writers and director for avoiding the obvious idea of having anybody say at any point, "You sunk my battleship!" (I remember somebody on another forum I used to go to saying they wanted to hear Liam Neeson say it. It must be depressing for him, after nearly forty years of acting, for most people he's become a meme delivery system.)
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I've suggested this before. Mainly because, come on, top billing went to Emilio Estevez, Mick Jagger and Anthony Hopkins, in that order. The early 90s! Also, I love that we're supposed to believe that 18 years have passed and the only thing that's changed about Rene Russo at all is her hairstyle.
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Last year, it seemed like Joel McHale couldn't choose a good movie script to save his life. In fact, besides maybe "Spider-Man 2" and "The Informant!" I don't think he's made a good movie yet. Last year was bad; this, "Spy Kids 4," and "The Big Year," all coming out within a few months, all looking awful.
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Honestly, between this, that stupid Hollywood book he wrote, and his conversion to conservatism (which appears to be nothing more than warmed-over thoughts from Fox News, judging by one review I read), I think David Mamet lost his mind sometime in the last decade.
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It would never happen, but it would be awesome if they could get Mickey Rourke as the guest. He made some headlines when, before the movie came out, he mentioned in interviews that it was terrible (in one case, after apologizing for the first time he said it).
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SPOILE... oh who cares. I love that they expect you to take this ending seriously, even though A: It means there's no resolution to the movie's conflict, and B: It pretty much contradicts the rules of his psychic visions. Also, seriously, what is with the director, Lee Tamahori? He made maybe one or two good movies ("Once Were Warriors" and "The Edge"), then ever since has made crap; he's also responsible for "Die Another Day" and that "xXx" sequel even Vin Diesel didn't want to do.
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Never Too Young to Die (1986)
sillstaw replied to KevinMerryman's topic in Bad Movie Recommendations
I love that to this movie sounds like something off an 80s sitcom.- 9 replies
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I haven't watched the new chapters yet, but what I love about "Trapped in the Closet" is how transparently obvious it is that R. Kelly is making everything up as he goes along. The first 12 chapters are about various people sleeping around with each other, then the next ten chapters are dedicated mostly to the sometimes-narrator character's shady dealings with criminals, with a few new characters being introduced (most of whom don't make a dent in the plot–looking at you, Pimp Lucius) and "the package" being mentioned. And from what I've heard, the new chapters mainly revolve around characters getting mysterious phone calls. I guess that's what happens when you write sections anywhere from two to five years apart. Also, according to the ever-reliable Wikipedia, "the package" is supposed to refer to AIDS. Which means that R. Kelly has introduced a serious, potentially life-threatening disease as a plot point in a story where, early on, a midget craps his pants.
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I want to say this has been suggested before*, but I'm not sure it ever got its own thread. My favorite thing about this movie: Apparently, it was one of the first big movies to not be screened for critics. I recall hearing that the studio said that they wanted critics and audiences to "discover" the movie together. Ho ho. * The reason I said that: I suggested it in the "bad summer movies" thread. Like I said there, the only thing I can remember from this movie is a scene where the bad guys meet up in a board room all dressed as teddy bears. (Granted, I saw it when I was maybe 10.)
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I'd third the nomination, except that no good can come of reminding anyone of that disaster. The 70s one or the 00s one?
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The fun part of the two Lambada movies is that they were separately produced by Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus, the guys who ran Cannon, makers of such fine films as "Superman IV," "The Apple," "Over the Top" and, um, Franco Zeffirelli's "Otello." Then, just to make it even funnier, they were released the same weekend.
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Regarding Xmas Movie Suggestions
sillstaw replied to RegFranklin's topic in Bad Movie Recommendations
YES. If ever there's a movie that proves that just unleashing Will Ferrell on a plotline and letting him improvise doesn't equal comedy gold, it's "Elf" (and "Land of the Lost," but nobody needs to sit through that one). How it is that this is somehow a contemporary holiday classic while containing maybe one funny bit is beyond me. -
To be fair, this and "Trespass" didn't get blockbuster-level releases. Smaller companies mean less theaters and less advertising, so of course nobody went to see it. As for his continued employment, I think as long as he does another "National Treasure"-type blockbuster, or another "Leaving Las Vegas"-style arthouse critical hit, he'll be just fine. Still, I endorse this one without having seen it, solely based off of A: Cage's daughter's eerie resemblance to Justin Bieber, and B: Josh Lucas's hilarious hair.
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... How did the presenter try to defend it? I'm just really curious. I've read the plot summary for this movie on Wikipedia 3 times (over the span of 5 years, but still), and I'm still confused by it. The ending either makes no sense, or whoever wrote/edited the summary is an idiot. I'm leaning towards the movie just making no sense. I'm also amused by Roger Ebert's review. A choice paragraph: Egad. This might actually be a hilarious movie. I can't tell anymore!
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Regarding Xmas Movie Suggestions
sillstaw replied to RegFranklin's topic in Bad Movie Recommendations
My family had a terribly-degraded videotape of this movie. The only things I remember from it are the kids who fall a great height into Santa's sleigh and survive, and the final shot where John Lithgow is floating out into space. I'd suggest getting John Lithgow for an episode on this, except that judging by "Doug Loves Movies," it takes him months to get around to guesting on a podcast. -
The taxicab action sequence used to be on YouTube. There's like a hundred implausible things about that scene, starting with the fact that Action Jackson runs after a cab and catches up with it, on foot. It's amazing. Sadly, it doesn't appear to be there anymore, which is a shame, because I think viewing it would immediately get the movie slotted on the show. Also, you can tell the movie was made in the 80s, because it has Sharon Stone and Vanity in it, and Vanity is the love interest. (Well, there might also be some "black-men-can't-have-white-women" racist things in there, too, but mostly it's that Vanity was somehow a bigger star at the time or something.)
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Honestly, a lot of recent Best Picture winners are terrible. "The Artist?" "Slumdog Millionaire?" Yes, those were surely the best of their respective years, and not boring, predictable parodies of silent movies and manipulative, demeaning crap, respectively.
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My favorite thing about the remake (aside from the fact that it was shot in 2009)? Originally, the invaders were supposed to be Chinese. Then, sometime in the three years between shooting it and its release, they suddenly realized that oh yeah, China is actually a big market for movies and they probably wouldn't appreciate being the villains in a movie about how much ass America kicks. So they digitally changed all the mentions of China and all the Chinese flags to make them North Korean. Because really, it's not like there's a difference in how Chinese people and Korean people look, right? Oh wait...
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This movie inspired one of the best reviews I've ever read on Netflix: Incidentally, if I had to guess, I'd say that Jimmy Kimmel would probably be the best guest if they did this one.
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Gallo placed a hex on his colon. Ebert responded by saying that he had watched footage of his colonoscopy, and it was more interesting than "The Brown Bunny." (Of course, Ebert later admitted that the edited version is a better film, but from the sound of it that's not saying much.)
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John Barrowman did this interview where he talks about why he was in the movie ("It was cash!") and discusses the amazing origin of "the line." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XA1kCJXsCQ