sillstaw

Have you heard his apology for the movie? He said, "You can’t blame me for not wanting to try to play a science teacher. At least I wasn’t playing a cop or a crook." Yes, apparently all those times he's been in action movies, Mark Wahlberg's greatest dream was to play a science teacher. ETA: I may have misread that. "You can't blame me for not wanting to..." There have to be better ways to phrase that.

Watching it, I couldn't help but think that Danny "ADHD" Boyle was the wrong choice. I'd kill to see what Chris Morris or Mike Leigh would've done. Heck, get Nicolas Roeg; just as stylized, and it's not like he's directed anything lately. But no, we have to get the director of the massively overrated "Slumdog Millionaire." And as a result, we get "text message" speech balloons and a house with movie clips on it.

I keep linking to Foywonder. He lists this as his favorite movie ever and has done an in-depth review.

"Change the Channel!" should be a showstopper.

... this is like my favorite video game movie.

It's my opinion that any adult watching anything related to "Power Rangers" needs to reevaluate their life.

The rumor was that he had bought the video rights, limiting its release to its first printing. Since it's available on DVD for whatever reason now (in glorious widescreen!), I think we can safely say it's about as true as the whole "Cosby buying the rights to the Little Rascals to keep them off TV" rumor. Also, if you really want to be confused? Reflect that Cosby did NOT go on TV and denounce "Ghost Dad." (Sure, they probably had it in his contract that he couldn't, but still.)

I'm not sure this would work. Everything I've heard about it makes sound like it's just too boring to be any fun to talk about. A shame, because any movie with killer ostriches or sabertooth tigers being used to build the pyramids sounds like it has to be amazing. And yet... Also, I think Foywonder put it best about the countless errors in these movies: "Science is to Roland Emmerich's typing fingers what Tina Turner is to Ike Turner's fists."

I remember being sort of tempted to watch this years ago upon hearing that at one point, someone who's lost her voice hands someone else a card with something like "There's turkey in the fridge. What does an orgasm feel like?" (Probably not correct, since again, it's been years since I read this.) Browsing through the IMDb quotes does come up with some equally jaw-dropping lines, though; I imagine there's no possible context where the line "You have a vagina!" isn't a non sequitur. Also, reflect upon the fact that this is directed by Michael Lehmann, whose first movie was "Heathers." Poor guy just killed his own career by directing "Hudson Hawk."

I can't believe I didn't watch the trailer until now. Man, this looks cray-zay. I especially love that the announcer came out of nowhere near the end, that the original post didn't even mention F. Murray Abraham, and that apparently Ernest Dickerson was a big enough name director to be mentioned in the trailer.

Guys guys guys! We've overlooked the most obvious choice!

Off "Days of Thunder," I was going to say "just about anything Tony Scott has made..." then I checked Wikipedia and found a surprising number of his movies were released in the fall. The only ones left besides "Days of Thunder" are "The Taking of Pelham 123"*, "The Fan," "Crimson Tide"**, "Beverly Hills Cop 2" and "Top Gun"**. It's annoying, because the only movie of his I've seen is "Man on Fire," and if any movie feels like a stupid summer film, it's that one. * I've never seen the Tony Scott version, but I hate it solely off the impression that someone thought the 1970s classic needed less Matthau and Robert Shaw and more John Travolta. ** Yes, I'm aware plenty of people actually like those movies. I'm just listing.

It's never a good sign when the YouTube video picture is of someone's butt. It's like, "Yeah, we have that little faith that we can get you to watch otherwise."

We owe you a crazy ballerina, man.

Dangit, I was going to comment on this thread with the "wi-otch" line and you had to use it in the first post. Now all I've got left is "Harry Potter can kiss my ass!" No, I haven't seen it. I've just read a review (it's the last of four in that post). With that, I can also say that I imagine June will love how many male torsos are on display. Also, Taylor "2012 was supposed to be my big year" Kitsch is in it. Who'd have guessed anyone in this movie would have a career afterwards? Even Renny Harlin's career somehow managed to go downwards after, and this was in a decade he started with "Driven."

This movie was posted before, but rather than lecture you on searching for the movies you want to suggest, I'll just rephrase what I said in the last thread. Fun fact: It's from the production company that made "Battlefield Earth." "Battlefield Earth," as you may know, was reported to cost a little above $70 million, but the actual money spent on production totaled up to $44 million, which meant that the producer pretty much embezzled about $30 million off just that picture. When the financiers found out about this, they sued and bankrupted the mini-studio that was producing "A Sound of Thunder." This, in combination with other pieces of bad luck (like the sets for the movie being destroyed by flooding in Prague), meant that money ran out partway through post-production... resulting in the atrocious special effects. Personally, I don't think that this movie had any chance of working. Even aside from production problems, the short story is basically everything it can be. It worked as a half-hour short on "Ray Bradbury Theater," but it can't be extended without reworking the plot substantially.

Homophobic slurs, dumb one-liners and kids talking about sex? That's why Shane Black hasn't written more kids' movies, I guess. Oh, and looking at Wikipedia, supposedly it was reported in 2010 that the director of "XXX" was going to remake it with Michael Bay producing. Nothing since, but somehow I get the impression that if we never see it, it will be like those asteroids that narrowly avoid hitting Earth. (Those do occur, right? I need to know, I got all my scientific education from "Armageddon.")

You could get Samm "The Ma'am" Levine to guest!

I'd love to read that screenplay. Heck, if that's what he wanted to do to Batman, I'd pay to see what he wanted to do with the "Robocop" remake. (Also, I think at one point he wanted to have Bruce Wayne/Batman fight a guy who was on fire.)

I recall an Internet acquaintance retweeting at the time, "ACT OF VALOR, it's cute how hard you try. I'll be over here with my tougher friend, RESTREPO." One of my friends who's actually served in the military loved the movie and claimed it was one of the best, most accurate films about Navy SEALs he'd ever seen. He also was very eager to see "Atlas Shrugged" when it came out. Draw your own conclusions. ETA: The Internet acquaintance also tweeted, "It only now crystallized in my mind that ACT OF VALOR is the non-ironic TEAM AMERICA that we've been waiting for." Which says it all. (I should also add I haven't seen the movie, because when you loudly brag about how your movie stars real Navy SEALs, it just makes me think you couldn't get any real actors interested.)

The best part of this was John Goodman as a gangbanger's terrifying father. Yes, I just used "John Goodman" and "terrifying" in the same sentence.

"I ain't got 20 bucks!"

I second "Judge Dredd." Seriously, does Max Von Sydow just make his choices for non-Bergman movies at random? Between "Dredd," "Rush Hour 3" and "Dune," it's hard to imagine that any actor could appear in so many bad movies and still have time to appear in a Woody Allen movie.

I just saw "John Carter" today. It's not the all-out disaster people seem to think, but you'd think that, if you were making a movie for a quarter of a billion dollars, you'd want to keep the amount of characters you're supposed to keep track of to a minimum. Especially when there's a whole race of look-alike aliens. As for favorite bad summer movies... hrm. I kind of enjoy "ID4," if only because I saw it in the theater when I was about six (my parents took me outside during the autopsy scene) and I still watch that movie as though I don't have as much cynicism in me. "Godzilla [in name only]" could make for a good episode, I think (the 'Mayor Ebert and his assistant Siskel' thing could be worth at least three minutes of discussion). And the "Jaws" movies would be good if they did a special episode or two about taking a good movie and progressively making stupider sequels. The late Richard Jeni had a great bit about "Jaws 4," which I am sorely tempted to plagiarize/quote to support it getting an episode. (Since I'm too lazy to look up the YouTube clip of him on the Tonight Show, here's what Wikiquote had from it: "The title of this movie should be 'Here's a Fish. You're Stupid.'")

Isn't this an Asylum movie? Because they make so many movies that could be on here. (Although, given that the hosts have said they're mainly interested in movies people know about, they'll probably never touch an Asylum film.)