Jump to content
🔒 The Earwolf Forums are closed Read more... ×


  • Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won


xoValeriexo last won the day on November 22 2015

xoValeriexo had the most liked content!

Community Reputation

4369 Excellent

About xoValeriexo

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 10/17/1986

Contact Methods

  • Website URL

Profile Information

  • Location
  • Favorite Earwolf Podcast

    Brilliant comedy. That's about it. Oh shit, wait, no, and animals. I love animals.

Recent Profile Visitors

8067 profile views
  1. xoValeriexo

    Episode 376 - Our Farewell to Earwolf Episode

    Crazy thought but should we all post photos of our dads??
  2. xoValeriexo

    Episode 376 - Our Farewell to Earwolf Episode

    Let us get this party started
  3. xoValeriexo


    Hi Hayes, Happy Birthday! To celebrate you should go to Disneyland with our mutual friend, Andy. He can get three people in for free on non-holidays and he never let's anyone forget it. Also Tim Treese is getting married soon and he and his lady seem pretty wealthy, like maybe it's the kind of wedding where the guests get to leave with a gift. Could be fun. Ok bye bye birthday boy
  4. xoValeriexo

    EPISODE 124 — Big Apple Bible, Episode 1

    Hayes studies the newspaper, looking for somewhere to go this weekend. The new movies all received bad reviews. Jerry Seinfeld is in town, but it’s sold out. A play could be interesting. He’s heard of Hello Dolly but doesn’t know anything about it. It’s been a while since Hayes has tried something new, and it’s been a while since he’s had time to spend with himself. He decides on the play and realizes he can make the next show if he heads out now. He slips on his shoes, musses his hair, and does a quick rinse with mouthwash. Tonight will be fun. At the theatre, Hayes gets a seat in the middle of a row. He usually likes to sit on the end, but he’s trying not to let the discomfort make him anxious. He looks around, wondering who will occupy the seats next to his. He begins hoping for someone attractive or nice to talk to, but realizes it’s foolish. Besides he’s not ready to get into another relationship yet. Hayes ends up seated next to an affectionate French couple on one side and, on the other, a 20-year-old kid who wants to leave from the second he sits down. Hayes wonders why he even attended, but decides it’s not worth thinking about; there’s no use trying to make sense of this ridiculous person. The house lights dim just as Hayes begins to seriously consider getting a look at the refreshments in the lobby. They’re probably no good anyway, he thinks. Ooh, I can check them out an intermission. This realization leaves Hayes smiling to himself, thinking about cookies, when the play begins. Intermission. The house lights come up. Hayes stands up to exit the row. The 20-year-old next to him is sleeping. Hayes wonders if he’s here for a class assignment or if he perhaps has a relative in the play. He stops himself before making any further guesses. He doesn’t want to allow himself to obsess over something so insignificant. That never helps anything, he thinks. His mind jumps to a memory with Sean. When they held hands walking to Sean’s car after spending the weekend together. Before it all went wrong. Hayes gave Sean his gloves because he said he was cold and it was all Hayes had to offer him. He hoped Sean still had those gloves. He hoped Sean thought of him when he looked at them. At the concessions tray, Hayes takes a snickerdoodle and fills a small paper cup with coffee. He doesn’t care how it tastes. He just wants something new to focus on. Hayes moves himself down the row and sits down in his seat, this time taking notice of the couple seated next to him. He can’t help but admire their unabashed affection toward one another. Maybe you have to be able to let go in front of others in order to truly be happy in your relationship. I never thought I could do that – the house lights go down. Hayes quickly finishes his thought, while aware that the plays dialogue will have more to offer him poetically. But maybe I should, he finishes. The play lets out and Hayes decides to wait in his seat while the audience exits. There’s no reason to stand around waiting when he can sit instead. He remembers he has a quarter of his snickerdoodle in his jacket pocket. He takes it out and eats it lazily, allowing the crumbs to fall where they may. He watches the audience exiting the theatre, looking for someone to think about. An old woman with her granddaughter. An old man and his wife. I guess a lot of elderly people go to the theatre. Then he finds a man who looks enough like Sean to stir his emotions. He wants to feel this right now. He wants to miss Sean and to regret all that happened between them. He focuses on this man and takes note of all the differences between he and Sean. He’s around Sean’s height, but he stands straighter. His eyes are darker, his lips fuller. But he looks kind. He looks kind and I want him to love me. Hayes brushes the crumbs off of his shirt. It’s time to go. He wakes up the 20-year-old sleeping next to him and exits the row, having accomplished all that he’d hoped to.
  5. New Brother Lovers episode for my baby bugs (you guys, duh).
  6. Ouch, no like from A Bear. Tough break, dude.
  7. Hello little lovelies! A new episode of my podcast, Brother Lovers, is out! The old gang is back together again: Valerie Bryant, Rod Aug, and A Bear. We're not better than ever, but we're still probably just as good. Since Big Brother is over (and the boys hated it) we have switched things up and now the podcast is about any and all things brother-related. Our debut episode with the new format is about Blood Brothers. We talk about the band, the musical, the concept, and the Papa Roach song. Guys, it's silly and I hope you like it. Please listen. https://soundcloud.com/brother-lovers-podcast/12-blood-brothers
  8. You guys are the best and I love you with all of my heart.
  9. Hi guys. I do love you all very much, including the newest of the newbies. I had a very very exciting birthday where I got to spend time with a bunch of forum friends. I have to tell you guys...all friendship is wonderful, but friendship built on the foundation of the common interest of a podcast and it's forum is truly the most wonderful of all. Some podcast hosts donated their time as well. Y'all are fans of the right podcast. These boys are hilarious angels. I'm telling you this because I like to share, but also so you know the love you feel on this forum is real. And I'm so happy you're all a part of it!
  10. Yo add me on PS4: GenuineHorror And if you don't have a PS4, I know a cool website where you can get one for free!!! I promise it's not a scam!!!! http://www.PS44Free.biz Enter offer code "Marky" at checkout.
  11. Two years ago today I received my first Clem fave on Twitter. Happy Anniversary, baby.
  12. Hahahaha I feel the same way when David goes off on some bullshit. Like how do we KNOW there aren't little robots living inside computers? We can't PROVE that there aren't. He is very frustrating sometimes. But he is also very nice and funny when he isn't being ridiculous. Happy Birthday, A Bear!
  13. Her brother let his stare linger a little longer than usual as she bathed herself in the tub next to the toilet where he was sitting. She didn't mind, they'd always openly admired one another's bodies like all brothers and sisters do, but this time she wondered if the lust she saw in his eyes was real or just wishful thinking. It had been 8 months since she walked in on her brother masturbating and it had been 8 months since that became all she could think about. His delicate grip, his moderate pace. Slow and steady wins the race. His eyes were closed and she wondered what was making him stiff. Was he thinking of his first love? A cute girl he saw today? Or was he thinking of something else? Something forbidden. His sister. She watched him as he ejaculated and he made a little moan. She saw he was embarrassed even though, as far as he knew, he was alone. She supposed he was thinking of something shameful after all. She slipped out into the hallway without her brother noticing, but she was unsure if that was what she wanted. What would've happened if she'd been caught? What might he have done to her? Since that day she's been doing everything she can think of to see her brother pleasuring himself again. She's hidden in his closet, only to see him fall asleep while watching Family Guy on Netflix. She tried to talk him into sharing a room and having bunk beds again, but he firmly said no. She once chaperoned him on a date, but found herself overcome with jealousy as he received pleasure from his date's hand rather than his own. That was the most painful twenty-five minutes of her life. That should be me, she thought. That will be me. Today, taking a bath in front of her brother while he goes to the bathroom, she decides to be bold. She places her hands first on her breasts, then moves them down to her stomach, and further still until she reaches her mound. She plunges herself deep inside her crevasse, her tailbone moving back and forth along the porcelain tub as she explores. She moans softly, just as her brother had done when he touched himself, only she isn't embarrassed. She is rebelling against a societal taboo and she refuses to feel anything but pleasure. This is it. He has seen her desire and now he has to make a choice. Her brother finishes up and wipes himself. She finishes up too and rinses out her gully hole with bathwater. "Gully hole" is something Stewie called a vagina on an episode of Family Guy her brother watched one night when she was hiding in his closet. Her brother closed the bathroom door as he left and she knew things would never be the same. For she knew that though that door had been closed, another had been opened. Congratulations to Sean and Grace. May your marriage be filled with love, laughter, and a third thing.
  14. You weren't at the hangout last week, Jacob C. Not really feelin you and what you're all about anymore.