xoValeriexo

https://www.scribd.com/doc/244303253/The-Tragedie-of-Hollywood-Handbook Shakespeare, babay!

I don't like that Bill Clinton is respected, while Monica Lewinsky is just some fame-whore. Who is the bigger piece of shit in their interaction? The middle-aged President of the United States who cheats on his wife by getting his dick sucked by an intern in her twenties or the woman who sucked his dick and could arguably be said to like attention? Honestly, if you think you can love Bill and hate Monica reasonably, I'm going to get pretty angry over here.

Hunter's back! Hun-ter's back! Hun-ter's back! Hey Andy, you did a really great job on the show. Who do you think will become famous from the forums next? I'm thinking MBOP, because of the rave reviews he got when he called into Eardrop or whatever that thing was called.

After listening to Hayes' disembodied voice for so long, watching him speak in that video makes me feel like a baby seeing her mama for the first time. Baby like.

Things I liked in this episode: Top of the food pyramid Judge's smasher Because of Winn Dixie Taj Mowry Ernest Whole Nine Yards book reading "I'd ride them." "Is that being friends?"

I was reading Hamlet the other day (DON'T ASK!!!) when I came upon a familiar statement: Polonius: I have found the very cause of Hamlet's lunacy. King: O, speak of that! A few lines later Hamlet said "The first row of the pious chanson will show you more." We get it, Shakespeare, you like Hollywood Handbook!

I thought this would be a good time to post this video of Ike Barinholtz doing his Dane Cook impression on Madtv. I think Dane Cook's comedy is better when you listen to the audio only, because his jumping around really is kind of over the top (for me, at least).

Great suggestion, Bozos. Anastasia, I had two kinds of cake: chocolate mocha and lemon. There were other desserts involved, but I won't get into the politics of all that. My bf bought me the cheapest Kindle, because his mom hijaked my Kindle Fire. We're like, okay, maybe if she can't use it to surf the web she'll leave it the hell alone. This is also the story for the pilot episode of my new show Everybody Loves Valerie. I was sung to and it was very uncomfortable. My four year old nephew just stared at the cake the whole time, which I thought was v rude. We paid to use it, yes, we're not criminals. Kobe actually stormed out in the middle of the cake-cutting because we got to talking about the new Fantastic Four and he said Michael B Jordan isn't right for the role of The Human Torch. He wouldn't let it go, so we asked him to leave and he stormed out with a small piece of cake on a paper plate covered in saran wrap. Let me put it this way: yes.

squoopy, I JUST listened to that one. Oh, so I know which episode it was on? You would think. Problem is, I listened to about 6 episodes in one day. It's somewhere between ep 27 and 33 I'm thinking. What was Sean talking about? Was it The Challenge? Was it The Bachelor? Son of a bitch, what was it? Freja, help.

Thanks for the happy b-days everyone (except Sean and Hayes). I'm glad everyone (except Sean and Hayes) cares about me. Anastasia, I live in Stockton. You probably don't know where that is, but it's about 90 minutes from SF. I love your story. You're clearly a very good writer and I love every detail you include. My favorite part of this one are the descriptions of Andrew's dancing. The visuals it created in my head were beautiful. Maybe it could end with Andrew being such a good dancer after training with Freja that he doesn't need Toby anymore? Or maybe Toby comes back to life when he puts on his leather jacket? Or maybe sex with Freja makes the guys fuse into one person permanently and it's the beginning of a beautiful friendship? A while ago I wrote a story about a ghost too: https://www.scribd.com/doc/235166092/Ghost-John-UPDATED-script You don't have to read it, but if you do I would recommend skipping ahead and starting on page 17. That way it's less daunting and that's really when the story starts to get more entertaining, in my opinion.

Damn Charlie Murphy Brown and Anastasia, nice job! My favorite line in CMB's is "The three shared a big loff as of course this was an inside joke going back years and representing the essence of their friendship." Beautiful. I also love that the story is about Engineer Cody, I love that you mentioned Ronna and Beverly's murdered out car (did you listen to that Totally Laime with Jessica Chaffin?), and b-b-b-bonus favorite line: "in such a rush to get out of dodge, and into his Dodge, a 1997 Neon." I don't think Zack Morris did the finger time-out though. I think he did a classic sports time-out, while Evie from Out of This World did the finger time-out. Sorry to bring you down, I'm just a total geeky nerd who reads sitcomics all the time. My favorite line of Ana's is "Good thing there’s so many loose branches lying around Seattle." I also love the details about the Kathy Ireland poster, the party sub, the light sprinkling of sawdust on the floor, and that Chanson just happened to be reading a child development book. Anastasia, you live in the bay area, right? It seems like we could meet somewhat easily if we were so inclined. I'm not saying anything, I'm just saying.

https://www.scribd.com/doc/242845467/Sean-is-Smart I wrote something else, guys. Love you, TheJunk.

https://www.scribd.com/doc/242649890/Episode-68-Not-Without-My-Pumpkin I wrote something dumb and I'm requesting that you all write something too. Super short, super fast, super 4g LTE.

This is one of my favorite I4H episodes of all time. And I so badly want to be a part of their emotional book club.

Why did I visit the How Did This Get Made forum? I'm plumb outta likes!

MBOP got two Clem likes this week. He deserved them, but.. whatever, nevermind. Candace Cameron's husband's name is Valeri. My elementary school custodian was named Kelly. That guy from O-Town is named Ashley. I'm gonna name my future son Anastasia Vigo. I tried to buy Cracklin' Oat Bran (I've never had it), but I went to the fancy grocery store so it was $6. Guess I'll have to wait a little longer to see what all the fuss is about. This episode was really, really funny. The Cards Against Humanity advertisement lived up to all the forum hype. I felt loved in this episode. If I got a HH tattoo do you think Sean would 'like' it?

Dear Birthday Boys, in Rolling Stone magazine you revealed that you view comedy as a side-project and your real passion is your babysitter's club. Talk about this.

I had tears streaming down my face during the cereal for breakfast, sandwiches for lunch, chicken for dinner segment.

Hi Brillo, excellent question. I am planning to move to LA within a year or so, yes. My [redacted] just graduated from college, so he's working right now to get some experience and to have some time creating a video game. He wants to work for a video game company in LA. I want to be a comedy writer. I am scared and, like that guy who made Sean and Hayes cry from The Voice, I don't want to lose my mom. Why does everyone think I want to lose my mom? Yeah, so eventually I will be brave and move and I would like a guarantee of friendship before I do or else what's the point? Oh yeah my cat will be there too working on his dream of being a bump on a log lol

ATTN: Sean Clements When I move to LA can I be best friends with you and Grace? I really like you guys and the way you care about kitties. Let me know ASAP.

Hayes: Scooby-Doo Sean: Scrappy-Doo Besser: Shaggy Aukerman: Fred This is all true. BUT Ronna and Bev are not Velma and Daphne. Kulap: Daphne Andy Daly: Velma Beverly: Scooby-Dum Ronna: Some old lady who's really a ghost

Oh yeah, this episode was really good. I liked the guest too (although I'm not to be trusted; I go easy on women because we have a sisterly bond). I can't really give specifics because I listened to an ep of RSS right after, so I don't know where Hollywood Handbook ends and Reality Show Show begins. But I do know that the child abuse thing was on this ep and I really liked that. I like when I like Sean and Hayes. They're like my friends sometimes. I don't know, maybe this sounds dumb, but I wish I could hug them.

Hmm.. this "dog" looks a lot like a puppy to me. Don't 'member talking about puppy history month.

I have a dog, but he's not good enough to be honored in Dog History Month. Trust me. Maybe we honor Shadow from Homeward Bound because of the time he fell into the hole and couldn't get out? Or Rimshot from Ernest Scared Stupid because of the time when Ernest thought there wasn't anything in the bag for him? Or the dog from Fear because of the time he got his head cut off and put through the doggy door?