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I’m starting to think that that pegasus DID give me LSD

I'm starting to think that vampire bats actually DO exist!

I'm starting to think that there isn't actually a rule that says I have to hold hands with that man on the bus

There's a unicorn across the street He's standing there beside that tree His mane is brown, his coat is white His black eyes sparkle in the light His hooves are big his tail is coarse His horn is... Never mind. That's just a horse

i've got a new game it's called "who can be quieter?" sit with your sister and give it a try with her no one can talk not a sound can you make i'll be over here playing "who's got a headache?"

this one is my normal one for normal types of days for normal games and normal fun for normal shows and plays for normal trips and normal sites to wear with normal clothes but tonight will be a fancy night i'll wear my fancy nose!

to the moon! to the moon! i'll be going there soon you can come if you like there is plenty of room in my cardboard space shuttle lift-off is at noon all we need are some helmets and phds in aero-space engineering with 450 hours logged in the simulator

A newborn baby's first moments of life are so precious and important so don't fuck them up by cutting part of his dick off

Don't forget, you lose 45% of your body heat through your butthole

Never give up on your dream. Unless your dream is stupid. If you are unsure, text me

Studies show that men think about sex every nipples

Good things come to those who wait until no one is looking

The TRUE value of a man is decided by the supply and demand of the organ harvesting black market in his country

to leave one's mark and mark one's place replace the stark and mark a space to aid the yearn and turn the gaze one first must learn to catch a phrase

to leave one's mark and mark one's place replace the stark and make a space to aid the yearn and turn the gaze one first must learn to catch a phrase

to leave one's mark and mark one's place replace the stark and mark a space to aid the yearn and turn the gaze one first must learn to catch a phrase

Donkeys all day every day! Thanks to Mike - Age: 4 for that catchphrase, I'm Snot Akwardwoman and I'm a stupid garbage sniffer.

Batteries explode into fire, beans explode into beans! Wow! I can make Scott say whatever I want! BALLS, BALLS, KETCHUP FARTS!

Happiness doesn't come cheap, but sometimes strawberry-rhubarb pie goes on sale, and that's pretty much the same thing

Never give up on your dream. Unless your dream is stupid. If you are unsure, text me.

Studies show that men think about sex every nipples.

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, STOP FUCKING DOING THAT!

The TRUE value of a man is decided by the supply and demand of the organ harvesting black market in his country.

Good things come to those who wait until no one is looking.

Batteries explode into fire, beans explode into beans, I'm Scott Acumen welcome to Comedy Bang Bang