EPISODE 113 — Listeners, Our Close Friends 3

[EPISODE 113 — Listeners, Our Close Friends 3]

lol, Ronnie Hog doing some choice screenshot browser tab bits there.

[Hollywood Handbook Forum Fantasy Football Federation]

I got Norm and Steve advancing to the second round.

 

I've got Blink advancing in the non-canonical consolation tournament and I am going to take a dive so that the Hayesbot advances over this incredible Pork Swords club, so we can get our third epic Blink/Hayesbot matchup in four weeks and Blink can finally overcome his robo-demons.

[EPISODE 112 — Agata, Gabe, July, Our Close Employees]

sorry

[EPISODE 112 — Agata, Gabe, July, Our Close Employees]

Furban Dicktionary. FUCK you.

[Hollywood Handbook Forum Fantasy Football Federation]

I'm hoping that the games this week shake out so that by the end of Monday, seven of our ten teams that are 7-6, so I can use this great lead in my recap (which can be read at fictional website www.porkswords2015.blogspot.com)

 

Hollywood Handbook is described by some as satire but the Fantasy Football league that carries its name has come to be defined by parity.

[Hollywood Handbook Forum Fantasy Football Federation]

I'm assuming the Hayesbot has gained sentience, as that's the only explanation for its stunning 6 game winning streak, including wins over mega-elite teams such as my beloved Pork Swords and poor Blink's team, victimized twice in a row.

 

Can this synth bastard run the table and find a way into the playoffs? In the topsyturvy world of the Hollywood Handbook Forum Fantasy Football Federation anything is possible. Especially with you-know-who as the commissioner. Let's send it back to you guys in the studio.

[EPISODE 110 — Handbook East with Tom Scharpling]

Ashley, if you're wearing a dress, make sure you've got eyes on it at all time, otherwise Jeffrey might throw it on and stretch it out.

[Survivor Season 31 - Second Chance discussion thread]

^^ Worth playing for?

[Hollywood Handbook Forum Fantasy Football Federation]

Goddammit Steve, you just fucked me out of a potential playoff berth! You are corrupt! A guy fights tooth and nail to a near-.500 record, he should get a taste of some of that postseason pie!

[Survivor Season 31 - Second Chance discussion thread]

Fuck, that was satisfying. It pains me, as someone who was a big Savage fan coming into this season but he had become kind of insufferable and self-righteous and it was delicious to see him completely blindsided. But it's not all bad news for Savage - he now gets to spend three amazing days alone with Kass on the Pondarosa. Can you think of anything better? Mmm. Hope to god that place is retrofitted for the combined smugness.

[EPISODE 109 — The ScuzzMan Returns]

It felt like my guy in Fallout 4 looked like a total badass. Made some cool armor, found some welding goggles, even found a cool hat to top it off! But... now that I actually look at him... he's giving off kind of a wasteland leather daddy vibe.

 

 

It's the hat, isn't it?

[EPISODE 109 — The ScuzzMan Returns]

Psh. I'm able to post on the forums AND roam around post-apocalyptia in Fallout 4 with no problem. Could probably drive cross country and listen to podcasts while I did it too. Sorry you people aren't on my lev... fuck, just got GOT by a deathclaw. This was a mistake. This was all a goddamned mistake.

[GET IN HERE FOR THE T SHIRT LIKE/DANCE PARTY]

[Best HH clips?]

Oh shit yeah, Norm. Those are good ones. Some quick hits (well, quick-ish; they're all over 15-30 seconds, I'm sorry!!!) would be...

 

Sean's question to Aubrey Plaza: https://soundcloud.c...-friend#t=42:46

 

The boys reveal their gamertags: https://soundcloud.c...-friends#t=5:36

 

Another great Sean question, after some Anfanger and Bass notes on the show: https://soundcloud.c...friends#t=50:15

[EPISODE 109 — The ScuzzMan Returns]

Wheez, I am very happy for you!

 

I'm also very happy that we're finally getting HH t-shirts!

 

I'm not quite as happy with SteveH suddenly juggling all of these other podcasts with other co-hosts after turfing me from PODCAST our podcast about PODMASS. #gone2soon You have no honor, Steve. NONE.

[EPISODE 108 — The We Don't Need Hayes Show with "Jeff Dunham"]

You could also switch out California for "Joe Lerini"

 

Or Ashley Absinthe

 

Or Silvrwoman

 

Or Mikebonetti

 

Or Dairy Pillows

 

Or 'lizamuffins

 

Or chicknsandwich

 

Or...or touchy seeley

 

Oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!

[EPISODE 108 — The We Don't Need Hayes Show with "Jeff Dunham"]

Yea, but don't you get to count work time towards your time with gf quota?

 

 

You'd think that, right?

[EPISODE 108 — The We Don't Need Hayes Show with "Jeff Dunham"]

Ohhhhh yeah!! Bonetti relocating to Southern California, where the women are hot and the Hollywood Handbook forum posters are even hotter.

[EPISODE 108 — The We Don't Need Hayes Show with "Jeff Dunham"]

Pros:

 

Access to internet

money

 

Cons:

 

Aforementioned proximity to gf

small talk

busy work

soulless corporate overlords

[EPISODE 108 — The We Don't Need Hayes Show with "Jeff Dunham"]

 

why would it be?

 

Well... you know, Norm, I hadn't considered that.

[EPISODE 108 — The We Don't Need Hayes Show with "Jeff Dunham"]

This week on PODCAST, the podcast about PODMASS, SteveH and I will discuss why 99% Invisible is always on this fucking list. Speaking of invisible, Sean's tour de force is nowhere to be found on the list. Fuck this, I'm pulling the plug, Steve. SHOW'S OVER.

[EPISODE 108 — The We Don't Need Hayes Show with "Jeff Dunham"]

We got a regular David and Donna over here

 

 

DA NA NA NA DA NA NA NA

 

*double fist pump*

 

[EPISODE 108 — The We Don't Need Hayes Show with "Jeff Dunham"]

I work with my girlfriend, we sit about three cubicles apart. It is an absolute fucking nightmare.

[Episode 96 — Tom Scharpling Again, Our Close Friend]

Hey man, don't trip - It's like the Human League said, you're only Human, born to make mistakes.

[EPISODE 108 — The We Don't Need Hayes Show with "Jeff Dunham"]

Unfortunately, I'm working tonight.

 

So yeah, I'm out getting laid.

 

 

 

_{(The joke is that I am a hooker which I am not. It is okay for me to make this joke because I am only joking about myself. please do not say something you might regret in response to this post. thank you -management)}

 

Hey speaking of work and getting laid, has there been any more buzz about another round of layoffs, Ashley?

 

That's how you fuckin' segue right there.