apocowarg

fixt I don't really know all you peeps as I am pretty new around here and I didn't lurk much on old episodes. I just felt like writing something stupid for fun. If I said anything offensive or got genders wrong, I apologize. Happy to change, remove or delete the entire thing as needed.

I love the smell of pinewood derby cars and all lengths of dirt.

fixt

fixt

I fixed your list heres a pretty good list nohorseman - this is a man that is so strong your grandpa would shit his pants if he knew piemanpie24 - i like the cut of his jib, a true patriot and fuckmachine ThunderCock69 - might like 311 i don't remember TREAD LIGHTLY (oh nvm doesn't like 311 pcool guy) chickn egg(nog) - real sexy piece of business this one --- - pearly allure of mysteriousness honlads - sounds like something a viking would yell at the dumb sea aaaaa - she makes the Queen of Sheba look like a wet piece of shit youngrose - ever seen that movie where the cool new kid comes to school and changes everything? bottle that silvrwoman - people pay this lady to fuck their moms and she accepts bitcoins Spunky Foonerism - this dude wears bear traps instead of shoes Joe Lerini - got into a fight with giant crab and the crab was crying mikebonetti - uses a 55 gallon hefty bag as a condom FOR HIS BRAIN wargen - dutch irish you prick ashley - played a game of chess against the grim reaper and guess who won? well do you see the grim reaper anywhere? no Rose_Cream - made a toilet explode with their mind (this is good the toilet was evil) lizzy - Josh Homme has her on speed dial Jacob C - actually immortal, spends more time at children's hospitals than you do on the shitter JeffreyPartiesStrikesBack - lifted a volkswagon with his dick SteveH - can eat batteries but doesn't cuz he is so modest, also has real fertile loins Jackal - strong german name Number 1 Cheeba Hawk - jumped over a waffle house and slam dunked a basketball Jack Johnson P.I. - lives in a hollowed out rock underneath the pentagon Houston - same name as the best porn star but don't google recent pictures of that porn star it went downhill WheedzCentricThEntertainer - smokes blunts made out of bible pages but in a respectful manner Nice Norm - sassy enough to strip the bark off a mighty oak Joe McGurl - curly mustache circus strongman extraordinaire Chanson - friend of the turtles, master of icy reaches Ensendada Slime - hacked all the way into north korea's wireless network eLIZamuffins - can crush walnuts with her thighs and crushes hearts with bedroom eyes greggy - i think this is the clown from that movie about krumping Ronnie hog - what can you say about ronnie hog that hasn't already been said about raccoons as a species Kevin O'Brien - raps no good, smells like old taco lives under dumpster Blink - tales tell of a mountain that fell in love with a man agata - timebeast Jon Onyx - said a riddle that made smoke come out of a robot's head Cargo Shortzenegger - walked across the bottom of the atlantic ocean to prove a point dreamingofhalls - makes sonic the hedgehog look like a poser thejjar - did some pretty not-okay stuff to a bunch of people that deserved it RanRan - is legally dead but told god to "eat farts" Asadasa - above average fencer mwn - accomplishments are classfied and you ain't got the clearance, buddy A Bear - wrote Saving Private Ryan, is a bear devscoot - rhymes with crash bandicoot, not a coincidence Zsinjeh - first person to receive a mermaid heart transplant Thomas Fiddlesticks - has two blue ribbons from the county fair one for making pies and one for being fucking awesome Bruce Reid Robinson II - married his dog in defiance of the both the heavens and all actual human law Danny Boy Wizard - tender soul, high and tight perm, cheetah on the future streets Andrew - hits the skins like a madman takes no guff from nobody specially not his dad robotam - reclusive musician whose debut album The Low Tabernackle is considered a modern folk rock masterpiece. Pitchfork's review consisted of a 34 second audio clip of their entire Chicago office spitting on a copy of Radiohead's Kid A

HEY JACKAL WARGEN IS DUTCH IRISH YOU PRICK

Give it to me. I can't make a baby with my waifu pillow so we have to adopt.

I like the cut of your jib, piemanpie24.

It's my birthday this Sunday and I am having my classic birthday struggle. Do I leave my birthday on Facebook so everyone can get reminded by a machine to care or do I remove it and feel a sad smugness when no one remembers?

You'd be a fool to turn down Ashley as a nanny. Her premium "How To Safely Drink Two Glasses of Wine While Holding a Baby" youtube videos are revolutionizing the childcare industry.

Thanks for going to Peru with my brother to take ayahuasca. Now he acts like a real hippie on Facebook.

I know a guy named Kieran that believes Obama is a lizard person and that there is a massive spaceship parked between earth and the moon but we can't see it because it has advanced cloaking technology. Also his (and his two brothers) initials are KKK because his dad is openly racist.

All the funny baby names have been taken so uhhhhh name it Oventits Mountain Dew.

I just assumed all phone numbers posted here were fake. Maaaaaan, any numbers get posted in here again, prepare to get some drunk ass texts from a Mr. Wargen T. Hammercrantz.

This post felt mean so I decided to edit it. Here is a picture of a small lemur instead.

silvrwoman coming in hot clear the landing zone

I'm a feminist, Norm, I don't believe in the friend zone. Here's my second draft: "wat does babyghost say when hurt? i hava bOoOo BoOoo lol"

I don't think a lie is a good way to start a friendship, Norm. Is that what you think is good?

What's a good thing to send as your first text to someone? So far I have "wat do u think bout chcikens" saved in drafts but I'm not sure that is casual enough.

Look at this friendly little hippo. Alright I'm gonna stop posting bullshit and listen to the episode now.

This post is in celebration of agata's new avatar.

Sick burn.

This Life Tip thing really backfired on me.