BesidesIllegal
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Everything posted by BesidesIllegal
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This is proof the Scott Aukerman will say anything thats on a teleprompter
BesidesIllegal posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
Welcome to Comedy Bang Ba-GUYS! You pranksters. I just got that. -
Young man, no dessert until you finish your catchphrase!
BesidesIllegal posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
ok, it's over. -
What a time to be alive! What a time to be alive! What a time to be alive!
BesidesIllegal posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
what a time to be alive -
Episode 92 β Dead Manβs Rock
BesidesIllegal replied to JulyDiaz's topic in improv4humans with Matt Besser
ATTENTION MATT BESSER I am more than willing to debate John Gemberling on the topic of Zoophilia, aka bestiality. I for one would like to know why he is so pro-animal fucking. I don't see the harm in joking about it (the last episode was hilarious) but he seems truly serious. What kind of pet genitals does he dream of @gemberlicking? I have pretty strong feelings that it is not ok to rape an animal, so I think I could do well on the show. Bring it on, John! Will you convince me to take out the lube and rub Beggin Strips on my scroat to get my dog in the mood? Or will you see the light and keep your pony-human fantasies locked in the dark recesses of your subconcious? . Big fan of Equus by the way. -
Ugh. Why?
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In loving memory of Gallagher Too, this is Comedy Bang Bang!
BesidesIllegal posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
RIP -
Ask me politely and I might split this Toblerone with you
BesidesIllegal posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
Those things are great -
How much swagger would Mick Jagger jack if Mick Jagger could jack swagger?
BesidesIllegal posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
? -
Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, shame on Jeff Goldblum
BesidesIllegal posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
a timeless saying -
Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang, the show so nice, they banged it twice
BesidesIllegal posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
I'm trying to create catchphrase inflation -
My first name ain't baby, it's Scott. Mr. Aukerman if you're nasty.
BesidesIllegal posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
Nasty -
Are you really too busy to visit your mother?
BesidesIllegal posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
You never call, you never write..... -
I've got a brand new pair of rollerskates, you've got an STD
BesidesIllegal posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
I'm so sorry -
Check out the facts, it's the Hollywood Facts!
BesidesIllegal posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
Take out ya dick! -
You're a tall glass of woman, baby, and I'd love to wet my whistle
BesidesIllegal posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
Great pickup line -
I've been working on this Liza Minnelli impression all week, want to hear it?
BesidesIllegal posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
The answer is always no -
Yup YUP
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What cartoon is this from?
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I miss bakin' plain cakes
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*sigh*....Can I be honest with you guys for a minute? Before we start the show. I know we keep it pretty loose and fun here, but sometimes it has to get serious if the show is going to work. So before we get to our guests, and we've got some great guests, I need to let you listeners know that the catchphrases....the catchphrases are done. I'm done. No more catchphrases. That's a new rule. A new no-no, as friend of the show Paul Rust would say. Why? I spent at least 25 minutes today looking for a funny catchphrase, and found nothing. And that's not my fault. That's your fault. And ya know what? Maybe I wouldn't feel so let down, so defeated, if it was harder. Because it isn't asking a lot. It really isn't. One phrase. One funny phrase. I wish that was all I had to do to be on this show. I have a real job to do. For you. You listeners, you greedy little street urchins, running up to me and begging for podcasts every week, and what do I do? Every week I put my blood, sweat and tears in this show, chew it up, and spit it back into your gaping maws like a mama bird. And in return, all I want is one fucking joke! Not even a good joke! Half of these are just random bullshit and mediocre nicknames! "Hot Boxerman"? What does that even mean? Do I not please you? ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?! IS THERE NO GOD, NO JUSTICE?! Is it raining, is it snowing?! Is a hurricane a-blowing?! And not a speck of light is showing! So the danger must be growing! Are the fires of Hell a-glowing? Is the grisly reaper mowing? Yes, the danger must be growing, For the rowers keep on rowing! And they're certainly not showing, any signs that they are slowing!
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A rant about the disappointing quality of the catchphrase submissions that turns into the WIlly Wonka tunnel boat speech (Read in post)
BesidesIllegal replied to BesidesIllegal's topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
All of these things will happen, and more. Lickable wallpaper! -
Well shut my mouth with a big ol' biscuit, it really is Jim Belushi!
BesidesIllegal posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
GASP! -
I do declare, I have a powerful thirst....for VENGEANCE!
BesidesIllegal posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
I do declare. -
How many times do I have to tell you that LegalZoom is NOT a fucking lawyer??!!
BesidesIllegal posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
Use LegalZoom, or you might just end up on the Comedy Chain Gang