Wien

Holy smokes. This one is on my list now.

There is just too much in this scene.... Why are the people on the boat panicking? They are in a great position, they're on top of a massive boat. They aren't going to get hurt, and its not like they're going to sink into the sea. I especially like the girl that double takes her line... "We're not gunna stop! We're not gunna stop!!!" "Where's the horn?!? Where's the horn!?" "There's gotta be a horn around here somewhere!" So the black guy warns the people in the boats with the PA..... but he doesn't warn the people on the pier?? Fuck em, I guess they'll figure it out for themselves. The guy that's trying to steer the ship with the fake wheel. "It doesn't work!" ... but the fucked up thing is that he's steering the wheel like he's trying to stay on course. If he thought the wheel worked, shouldn't he have been spinning it one direction or the other OUT of the way of the coast? Was he TRYING to steer it towards people?? If hitting a rinky dink boat was enough to slow the boat down enough to register on the speed gauge thingy, then how the hell did the ship have the momentum to crash as deep inland as it did?? If a small fishersham's boat slowed it down, the immediate coast and docks surely should have stopped it... right? Why was their a scene where a motorboar crashes into a store??? Its so unnessesary and amounts to nothing, isn't it enough that there will SOON be a scene where a GIANT FUCKING CARNIVAL CRUISE SHIP crashes right into the middle of the town square?? As the boat looms towards the pier... "Quick! Pedal faster!!" Wtf, you can SWIM faster than you can pedal those damn things. Lady on the phone: "What? I can't hear you??" Maybe thats because THERE IS A FUCKING CARNIVAL CRUISE SHIP CAREENING DOWN THE STREET NOT MORE THAN 10 FT BEHIND YOU. Was the guy in the truck really honking his horn at the ship?? Because he clearly SEES the ship, he KEEPS driving, he doesn't hit the brakes... and he still honks and then drives right into the path. The ship clearly kills the man in the truck that decided that driving in the direction that everyone was running from in a panic was a good idea, and the immediate cut after is that that madman screaming "FOUR KNOTS!!!" like keeping track of the boats speed even matters to anyone at this stage. Hundreds are dead and a town lies in ruins. Where the hell did the mom and child go to escape the danger??? Was the condo she was checking out really that much larger than the width of a cruise ship?? I mean that ship LEVELED that entire place... that woman and child are dead. The old couple still just relaxing on the patio until the VERY moment the ship crashed through the other side of the building... THEN they panic and run. Its like nobody in this fucking film reacts to anything until its right up on them. Its like in a videogame, where there is a certain distance you can stand from an enemy and they SHOULD be able to see you and attack, but they don't... but if you inch one step closer then they freak out and attack you. This movie is populated with dumb A.I. "TWO KNOTS!" says the maniac on the floor, who is still commited to this thing for some reason. The ship moves at a constant and steady pace, leveling everything and showing no visable signs of slowing down until the exact very end, where it stops like someone hit the brakes.... ... but at least the ship spared the church, and thats all that really matters right?

This is a good one too, and is also on Netflix instant:

You guys were talking about the lack of Nic Cage movies... well here's one for your summer blockbuster appitite:

You could have done an entire show over this scene alone: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrEAOjLoR6Q Did the black guy really say "This is not a dream!"???? And why does that lunatic keep talking about how fast the boat is going after its already crashed ashore?

I said it in a post on the boards before, I'll say it again: The Expendables series, with 2 coming on August 17.

good god, that was the longest 2 minutes of my life, truly awful.

Speed 2... thats a rough one....

ID4

Ive yet to see this movie, but I shall. austin folk, we should get together at an alamo and watch this sure-fire debacle.

I just meant in that clip. I sat through that Killers bit, and I hated every second of it.

I watched this movie last night and it pissed me off, it was so epically bad. Its intensely confusing and directionless, almost to the point where it feels like Kelly is punishing people who dare try to gleam anything other than dumb loyal enjoyment out of a movie. This scene is all you need to know about this movie, in a perfect nutshell. It surmises this movie perfectly. The Rock's cool guy persona and sudden shift to nervous cartoon character, the bad hammy acting from the girl, vague sci fi references, non sequiturial vulgar sexual references that are completely unprovoked and without any merit or weight on the story or anything, random acts of ultra violence.... the only thing its missing is a dumb, pretentious musical dance number to (insert modern pop song here). Pure bullshit, and people label it as art like that gives it diplomatic immunity. Well, ITS JUST BEEN REVOKED.

I would love to hear your explination, considering that people who starred in the friggin movie can't even explain what it is.

wtf?????

This confusingly awful movie is available on netflix instant, so that helps.

Maybe my recollection of this movie is off, but I thought this movie was BAD with a capital "fuck". The CG was awful, the premise was bizarre, Nic Cage didn't have any freakouts I dont think... in fact, his entire performance was only a hair more energetic than Mr Mackey on South Park. Its like his Wicker Man performance without the Bad Lieutenant change up. Very little made sense, and the plot twist at the end harkins back to those days of late 80s/early 90s sitcoms.

You tempt dark fates with this recommendation, fool. This movie was very much so a giant commercial for Super Mario 3 and the Power Glove, and 80s kids like me not only knew it... but we openly accepted it and REVELED in it. Who cares about what the story is, or about Fred Savage and that chick from Rilo Kiley... this movie taught me how to do the level warp trick, and for that it will always be an A+.

This family friendly bend does not jive with the notion that this was once a rated R movie. What the hell happened on this movie???? It almost seems like an R rated movie was written and abandoned, then Lance Bass's production company was given a copy of it to translate into a PG film to save time on having to write an original movie.

I didn't like this movie anyway.... ....but why spam the board with "joke" threads?

When they started going after peope with that super crude drawing.... ...it made me think of the artist compisite sketch of the Mobile, alabama leprechaun.

The one satisfying thing about this whole fiasco.... the two writers for this mess have not done ANYTHING in movies/tv since. In fact, for both writers Eric Aronson and Paul Stanton... this movie is their ONLY credit.

By the way, I dont recall it being brought up in the podcast... but was that little boy's presense on the train EVER explained?? Why is Lance Bass and Joey Fatone sandwiching a random 6 year old boy on a train, who is somehow eating McDonalds and throwing down life lessons on weird girls on the train? Where is this kids parents??

Just look at the cover for this romantic comedy.... two douche-haired dudes all over each other, and the "love interest" haphazardly photoshopped into the background awkwardly like she was an afterthought. It sums up the entire movie perfectly.

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I watched this..... I.... watched this.....