kneisage

Good observation, but actually my picture helps me confuse my enemies. When I show up to a fight and I'm a fully grown, handsome adult with an impressive physique and a normal sized Chevy Astro Van, they go like "whaaaat" and I beat them up easily.

Even though the Reality Show Show threads might not always officially get to "HOT" status, in my mind, every single one so far has been pretty darn hot. Lots of red hot posts on this forum in my opinion.

Heck yeah. I'm ready to fight. I'll finally have a use for these bulging biceps and chiseled six pack abs

I usually come to Reality Show Show for some great gags and fun reality show coverage but it's always icing on the cake when Hayes and Sean offer up their unfiltered opinions on politics and society. The whole time I was thinking "this is totally twisted... but I love it"

I am also interested in the position if it's still a thing! I'm big into comedy and I am very familiar with the UCB LA theater. I am willing to humbly submit to any dark arts or witchery that is practiced at the theater. PS amazing episode. That "interview" scene is now one of my all-time favorites.

Since Reality Show Show will hopefully be making its triumphant return soon, I finally got around to making intros for the fellas in the style of ABC's hit television show Splash that I promised I'd make a long time ago. I also included a "sizzle reel" of some of the coolest times when the fellas said their own names. Lots of fun stuff if you're into that sort of thing! Enjoy thanks bye

I've been lagging on my viewing, but is the 16 year-old girl that got teased because of her teeth still on The Voice? Seems like her story of struggle and pain could give even Jessica and her Public Relations career a run for her money. I guess it goes to show that great art comes from tragedy. I can only imagine what kind of hardships Hayes and Sean have faced in order to make a podcast as good as this one.

Don't you get it? Vibes MADE me this way. All the toilet jokes and sex innuendos just made me crave more.

I understand where Sean is coming from, and I don't want to rock the boat or anything, but personally, I think it's pretty cool Hayes is getting out there and having some sex. Good for you, buddy. Congrats.

Scott's bit about Prince's "Orgasm" is even funnier when you hear the actual song. Such a gorgeous melody. http://grooveshark.c...sm/4vXl7n?src=5

Some thoughts: One of the worst parts of America today is that you guys haven't done an episode on the Video Podcast Network yet. I was a Managing Editor too, and I gotta tell you, I really miss that feeling of being Top Dog. Thanks for the suggestion of how to fill that void. One day I will make you guys your own Splash funk intros and everyone is going to love them. The End good on ya mates cheers

Very good question, Erika. I didn't. But I did watch the trailer, and it seems like a hit. I gotta head down to my local Hollywood Video and pick it up soon. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKSpTTL1Bvc

A QUICK EPILOGUE to my story that got cut off after I made Sean and Hayes mad because my joke was too funny: Like Hayes, I figured his mom was just going along with the story since she didn't want to break the illusion, but he talked to her later and she told him it was all true. THEN the psychic ladies came up to him after the shoot was done and said, "Sorry about that. It's a gift and a curse. Sometimes people get hurt" and they asked to give him a hug. After hugged him they looked at him funny and slowly backed away. They said "Are you straight?" and he said "YES I'm straight," and then he left the set in frustration. The End. Also I did some research and here's how much each of your twitters are worth: @jenstatsky is worth $5638 @seanclements is worth $1098 @hayesdavenport is worth $242

Yesss super excited to hear you guys are going to do more of these live shows. I definitely have to call in with Skype next time or something, I had no idea my phone was so laggy and shitty. Anyway, I don't want to get anyone in trouble, but I think I might have figured out who the mystery guest was. Was it Rapper Bustop Rhymes?

OK I redid the theme and got the name right this time! Feel free to use whichever you want or none at all I don't mind THANKS.

Hey so I was thinking that America's #1 top dog podcasting segment doesn't even have a theme song and how unfair that was, so I did this thing. You don't have to use it on the show or anything but everyone is free to listen and enjoy. Also if anyone wants to learn how to play the Shark Tank theme I can give you some tips because I recreated it note-for-note for some crazy reason. Cool thanks bye https://soundcloud.c...nks-or-no-tanks

Was I mad about the Bateman blunder? Sure. Furious even. Normally Reality Show Show checks their sources and brings us reliable facts, week in and week out. Which is what made the Bateman issue so disappointing. But then I find out Sean didn't even follow through with his ritual suicide to atone for his mistake? Do you guys even CARE anymore? Maybe Reality Show Show isn't as committed as I thought it was. just kidding good episode please don't die goodbye

Ahhh oops I don't know why I thought it was Tanks OR No Tanks. I feel a lot like Bea "Bee" Arthur (not my real name) going into the Shark Tank not knowing her numbers. I got the dang name of the segment wrong in my theme! Maybe I'll go back and change it around so there's buts in there instead of ors. And maybe I'll add in a bunch of musical stings (the reality show signifier for shame). Thanks for playing it anyway!

Here's a song celebrating my glorious week of fame that will surely last forever. Famous for a Week By Andy Kneis aka Kneisage https://soundcloud.c...mous-for-a-week Lyrics: Is it really true? Could it really be? I’ll tell all my friends So they can be jealous of me I will yell right in their face: Yeah motherfuckers I’m famous for a week Fuck you they played my plugs theme Fuck you they said my name Fuck you I’m burning bridges Yeah motherfuckers I’m famous for a week Fuck you they played my plugs theme Fuck you they said my name Fuck you I’ll hang with Beau Bridges Yeah motherfuckers I’m famous for a week

Here is another plugs song I made where I waste everyone's time before they can get to those sweet, sweet plugs. "Just Get to the Plugs" By Andy Kneis aka "kneisage" https://soundcloud.c...et-to-the-plugs Lyrics: Every episode, yeah it's always the same You take so long to get to the plugs. You play a stupid song and you say the guy's name I have to wait to hear the plugs. I refuse to wait For twitter names and show dates This song is way too long Scott Aukerman Gimme them plugs PS I submitted this earlier, but it didn't get selected to be on the show. I edited it down a little bit so hopefully it's more suitable now. Thanks!

Here's my submission for a plugs theme. WARNING: this song will get you in the mood. In the mood for sex. https://soundcloud.c...w-jam-the-plugs Lyrics: Oh yeah baby all I wanna know Is your name on twitter and the time of your show It sounds so good when you plug your shit I gotta wait until the end but you know it’s worth it Slow jam the plugs so you know how I feel This is not a bit, this love is real Pluggin in the day Pluggin at night Comedy Bang Bang knows how to plug it right Pluggin in the day Pluggin at night Oh yeah plugs I wanna make you my wife (my wife)

Sorry, was it just me, or did Hayes and Sean's voices sound kind of weird in that classic segment? It was a while ago, so maybe it was before they went through puberty? That might explain why Sean couldn't stop jerking off (hormones). Other than that small thing, though, it was another fantastic episode.

Awesome episode. Amy Phillips and Neil Campbell were fantastic. Also, maybe it's just me, but at points Jeff Ross sounded like a less raspy Bob Odenkirk. He should work on an impression and come back and play him! They should do a podcast with the real Sarah Silverman, Amy Phillips doing her impression of Sarah Silverman, the real Bob Odenkirk, and then Jeff Ross doing an impression of him.

This probably isn't as outrageous as a lot of these other clips so feel free not to use it, but this is a video from a very affluent town near where I grew up. They are trying to start a campaign to ban the gardeners that they hire from using leafblowers because they're too loud. So they made this video to make the leafblowers seem like a real menace to society. Not that I don't understand being annoyed by leafblowers, the video just makes everything so overblown (ha ha ha funny pun). Might be funny to riff on. Make sure to stick around for the doctor at 1:13 who says that just looking at a leaf blower can be negative for your health. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gmfJkXxI_U

Here's a song about a little thing I like to call plugs. "Just Get to the Plugs Already" By Andy Kneis http://soundcloud.co...e-plugs-already Lyrics: Every episode, yeah it's always the same You take so long to get to the plugs. You play a stupid song and you say the guy's name I have to wait to hear the plugs. I refuse to wait For twitter names and show dates This song is way too long Scott Aukerman Just gimme them plugs also here is my site for more dumb stuff andything.wordpress.com Thanks! Big fan of the show.