PlanBFromOuterSpace

All of the other Alamo movies up to this point have been pretty inaccurate and almost 100% Chupacabra-free. Finally, their story can be told...

"Do you remember saying 'I'm going to chompa chompa you in the (blank) and then chompa chompa your (blank) so much. Chompa chompa chompa.' But you're saying here that you came here because you WEREN'T going to chompa chompa?"

"Really, Sharkpedo? You drove from five hours away, you brought a case of beer and condoms, and you just wanted to talk?"

Because it's a touch more evil-er! Like in "Rambo", the last one, where they made that General guy a mass murderer and (as if the one wasn't enough) they made him a kid toucher on top of that! THAT was the part where people went "Hey, THAT'S inappropriate...". Keep those shark torpedoes away from our playgrounds!

It's that fuckin' Bonobos.

I still fully expect him to make a jump from space at some point. Remember a couple years back when that one guy broke the record for the highest jump from anywhere ever? I seriously see Cruise figuring out how far that was, tacking on another 20 feet, and then doing it as part of a second act set piece in "Mission Impossible 6".

As far as the age difference between father and son is concerned, let us not forget that in the first "Sharknado", the actor that plays Fin and April's son is only 8 years younger than Tara Reid!

It's very possible that I may have misread that...

Correction/Omission/Hope Explanation: Guys! I know how Hasselhoff got on the moon at the end. Hear me out... Those sharks really got up there in the end, right? I mean, fuckin' SPACE, yo. Well, if we know anything about most of the movies that have been covered here, the shark has to get get jumped at some point. In this case, we are LITERALLY dealing with space sharks. When they're up that high, you've gotta jump that much higher. In fact, those guys jumped the sharks so hard and so high that Hasselhoff, maybe with an assist from his jetpack, got sucked into the moon's gravitational pull, and now he's stuck there. BAM.

Remember though, Asylum thinks they're above such chicanery! Sure, they'll throw in a million and a half cameos, but they won't bother to fucking explain who they are by having them do what they're famous for, because THAT might be cheesy.

In the case of Tara Reid dissing the name June, that's like being insulted by the slow kid, or being made fun of for knowing how to read.

In addition to being a picky eater, my soul has a tendency to do this...

I could have gone pro if it wasn't for the injury I got in college... "Maaaaaarco!" *sigh*

I eat a lot of fish, so why can't I hold my breath underwater for more than a minute?!?

The blue meth was CLEARLY an homage to Cranston's Power Rangers past, right? It's the only reasonable explanation...

Well, the thing about Jason and Twitter.... So, is Jason slowly disappearing from these other things because the younger version of his mom is macking on him?

That's right! His son is "Ash the Fish Expert". He's usually pretty good on the show.

I was listening to an episode of Chris Jericho's podcast from last week, either the episode where he had Ian Zeiring on or maybe the one after that, where he was talking about how ridiculous Universal Studios was with how their park was portrayed in the film. Jericho played Bruce, the ride operator (which was also the name of the mechanical shark from "Jaws"), and the Universal Studio people made him cover up his arms, because he has tattoos, and they don't allow their employees to have visible tattoos. In a movie about tornadoes made of sharks murdering people in their park, they're concerned with the employee dress code. He also said something about not really being given direction when it came to his death scene, like to just act like he was dying horribly, not knowing where the sharks were coming from or where he was being bitten.

Still not being fought on? A street.

I think the ultimate big bad of the series doesn't need to be a shark necessarily, but maybe a man. A man with a hat. A hat that is like a fin. A shark's fin...

First! Suck it! Okay, now I'm going to listen... (Holy shit, what a waste of a 2000th post!)

I think it's because they fully commit to riding that crazy wave all the way to the end. Plenty of movies have great crazy concepts, but it's almost like they don't know where to go from there. It's like they sold it, it got greenlit, and then they're like "Shit, now what?".

You said it right there: "The Room" worked because it DIDN'T work. As is the case with a lot of great terrible movies, the filmmakers are awful at what they do, which leads to unintentional greatness. Once they become self-aware, they try to replicate that and it fails. Why? Even though they created something that people enjoy, it was for reasons they hadn't intended, and they're still terrible at what they do. Edit: Whoops, sorry, I originally read that as a question, which you would have answered anyway. D'oh!

I saw it on Blu-Ray at Best Buy in a RED case! I don't know what's so God damn special about it to where it deserves that, but it sure is purdy...

I've always thought that "Face/Off" was legit good. I was going through a huge John Woo phase at the time though, and neither he or Cage could do any wrong as far as I was concerned.