PlanBFromOuterSpace

It's close, but the TMNT pizza scenes still might be grosser...

You're missing a BIG one... Okay, Punisher is in season 2 of Daredevil, which featured the character Ben Urich in its first season. Ben was played by Vondie Curtis Hall, the director of motherfuckin' GLITTER!

Wait, in that "Out of Our Shells" clip, did they urge us to sing along with them?!?! But it's a song that's never been played before by anyone anywhere! That would require us to possess some sort of Vanilla Ice-level precognitive abilities!

To be fair, the Turtles were at least somewhat known, right? At least to April, who was giving them shout-outs on the evening news. Maybe they'd at least achieved urban legend status, I don't know. So yeah, MAYBE Ice already had this one in the can, ready to debut it if they should ever come crashing through a wall or something at a venue where he was performing. "Why did the Shredder choose for their final confrontation a construction site next to a very busy night club with extremely flimsy walls?" reminds me of "Punisher: War Zone", where Jigsaw drew the Punisher to this factory of his that seemed to serve one purpose, which was crushing broken glass for no apparent reason.

I'd like to think that if this film takes place at the same time that it was released that the below-the-fold story on the front page buried far beneath the "Ninja Rap Is Born!" headline would be "Also: Gulf War Ends".

Vanilla Ice's performance is somewhat reminiscent of John Travolta's phone call from "Staying Alive", where he seems to have all of the information and a perfect response formulated for this exact thing that he has to deal with right this very moment that he hasn't even had enough time to process. See also: Malkovich's "...onara" comeback in "Con Air".

As someone else that went through life with a name that was rather unfortunate in the late '80s/early '90s, I can COMPLETELY relate to June. I mean, try having the name Robbie Brown during the New Edition and "My Prerogative" years. I cut it to Rob when I moved in 1991, and the hassle pretty much stopped immediately. Also, I'm a veteran of one of those grunt-fighting kid shows, having worked on a couple of episodes of Nickelodeon's "Supah Ninjas", which I haven't watched a single frame of. Kid shows are fun to work on though, because no one gives a fuuuuuuuuck. I think I was both a cop and a looter in the same episode...

I take partial blame for this debacle ("At least it's short...", I said), and for that I will gladly fall on my sword... PSYCH! I CAN'T commit seppuku if I'm not allowed to use my sword! BAM! Up top! *runs around the room collecting high fives*

It also runs the risk of cutting off the first few minutes of "Tomcats" or "Van Wilder 2", or whatever other female-empowering movie that Comedy Central has running after Chris "Singled Out" Hardwick's show.

Also, the Offspring cover of "Smash It Up" that only plays in the film itself for about ten seconds is incredible!

I don't know about throwing balls, but they definitely do basically put on corporate pep rallies, and I'm sure there are all sorts of events surrounding that. In fact, in the very first film that I ever worked on, the Jake Gyllenhaal movie "Love and Other Drugs", I was a Pfizer trainee in a lot of training scenes and was in the crowd during the big introduction, where we had to listen to Macarena about a million times. You see, the movie takes place in 1996-1997 when Viagra was becoming a thing.

It would certainly explain his height, or lack thereof.

I think Showbiz was more of an ensemble, while Chuck E. Cheese was more of a starring vehicle for Chuck himself, even though he had a strong supporting cast that had their moments. It's like comparing the TV and movie versions of "Mission Impossible".

I liked "Forever" quite a bit at the time, but I really didn't care for "Returns" at all, so maybe I just liked the change. "Batman & Robin" took the worst parts though and cranked them up to 11.

"Batman & Robin" feels like it's about 7 hours long though, whereas TMNT2 will at least go by quickly.

Come to think of it, I think they were still separate entities at that point. I remember when I lived in Ohio as a kid, I had my birthday at a Chuck E. Cheese, but then I moved to Illinois that summer where we had a Shobiz, and the places were pretty much identical aside from the characters.

In defense of the "Robocop" remake though, depending on where you fall on "Robocop 2", the 2014 flick is still probably at least the third-best "Robocop" thing ever. I'm pretty sure I've said something before about franchises with beloved first installments that spent the rest of their run shitting all over themselves, and this one is no different, with some folks talking about it like it was an atrocity on par with the more terrible things that have happened to the series. See also: Rob Zombie's "Halloween", Platinum Dunes's "Texas Chainsaw Massacre", any other perfectly competent, if not completely unremarkable, remake or revamp of a series that had a really good movie and a half or so.

Quick "Surf Ninjas" story: My cousins grew up in Hermosa Beach, California, which was host for all sorts of low budget beach-related movies and TV shows, including "Surf Ninjas". Anyway, Tone Loc shared some Twizzlers with my cousin Christopher and was subsequently chewed out by the director, because the production was THAT CHEAP. No room in the licorice budget for extras, apparently...

And of course you have to have all of the choreography worked out with your opponent before that, because you don't want to look like a BITCH to your boys for not holding up your end of the knife dance fight. They'll ride your ass hard at the next rehearsal and you'll never hear the end of it.

Maybe if there was a bit more song and dance, because up to that point, "West Side Story" and Michael Jackson's "Beat It" video were the gold standards for how hardcore gang warfare could be.

If I remember correctly (I probably don't), weren't these "thugs" also wearing sweaters and khakis or something? I don't think I'm assuming too much when I say that this wasn't exactly the most accurate portrayal of gang culture that we'd see in movie theaters in 1991...

I don't know how THIS hasn't been posted yet...

Pretty much all of the cartoons that I grew up on were guilty of this, like swords couldn't be used AS swords. If someone used some sort of edged or stabby weapon (That's what you call something that goes through someone, right? Stabby?), they'd either totally whiff it and miss it entirely if was any sort of living creature, or (as you mentioned) they'd shred the hell out of it if it was mechanical. As far as the TMNT flicks are concerned, I don't think I've ever seen so many things get hit with the SIDE of a sword. This also brings to mind the bit in the original "Star Wars" when Obi-Wan says something to the effect of "This is clearly the work of Imperial Stormtroopers, because only they can kill so precisely" or whatever, because that's apparently the only time in the entire series that they did THAT correctly, and of course it happened off-screen. I want to see the missing scene where they're out on patrol or something, come across a terrible sandcrawler wreck, and then just laser the shit out of the already-dead Jawas.

I know that a couple mini-eps back on "Hercules in New York", they played a trailer that was clearly not the original, because not only was Schwarzenegger called Schwarzenegger (instead of Arnold Strong), but there were references to Conan and the Terminator in the voiceover, which weren't things until much, much later. Maybe whoever has been pulling those clips has just been selecting the most popular search that comes up on YouTube or something.

But dying sucks, y'all. Dying sucks...