PlanBFromOuterSpace

Something about making sure walks are done or something. I'll post a pic later.

I know. Sorry, I had posted the Rambo thing before I'd seen that you posted those other ones. Anyway, I'm such a fan of JCVD's "Universal Soldier" films (parts 1 & 3-4 anyway) that I just purchased the "The Return" on Blu-Ray as part of a 2-pack with one of his other DTV flicks. It only cost 3 bucks at Wal Mart though, so if you think about it, I only paid 1.50 for that movie, on baby Blu no less, and I still feel kind of bad about it...

At the beginning of the new one, they're breaking Snipes out of prison, and he DOES joke that he was in for tax evasion. *sad trombone* Its kind of like Chuck Norris telling a Chuck Norris joke in the last one. I get it, dude. They may as well have looked at the camera and said "GET IT?!?!".

Oh wow, that fan art one even used the Rambo tag line? Jeez, you could make up a better, more believable fake tag line by ACCIDENT.

Exactly! If not bad fan art, it looks like something that would have been thrown together for ComiCon or something the week after Expendables 2 came out. Anyway, in just the last hour, we got an e-mail notifying us of the fuck-up and that we 're to discreetly cover up the faces of the missing actors, which doesn't look the least bit possible, until the corrected title art arrives.

I pointed out to a wrestler friend of mine that this made "Expendables 3" look like an Indy wrestling show. A bunch of guys prominently featured in the artwork that don't actually appear? Check. The people that DO appear looking nothing like they do on the show? Check. If there's a fourth film , they should be required to stick "Card subject to change" in the small print.

To be fair though, there really isn't much of anything different that I noticed between this and the first two, as far as content is concerned. They haven't been particularly gory (I do remember Dolph blowing a guy in half in part 1), and while the language is toned down, there's still a lot of swearing, including an f-bomb from our favorite curmudgeon. It's still crazy violent, but without all the shitty digital blood. The new additions to the cast are fine, even the Twilight kid, and Gibson's pretty awesome as the villain.

Add "upsetting" to that list!

I remember when I first saw that a few months back that I was expecting more Hercules or Xena, but was pleasantly surprised when it went the Highlander route instead. The "Breaking Bad as a 90's TGIF sitcom" is pretty fantastic too.

It seems like one of those movies where some folks would have given it a pass because "It's got a message n' stuff", regardless of whether or not it was handled all that well. I remember there being very little hype besides there being some good actors in it, and then it came out, did no business, was gone from my theater in two weeks, and no one really talked about it again. In fact, I think this is the first mention I've heard of it in about a decade.

I guess we all know how Brandon Tartikoff got a part in that one episode then, right? LOVES the Screech dong, that guy...

Speaking of that, and the fact that everyone gets like maybe three minutes to get their shit in before never being seen again, they make it a point to say that yes, Sub-Zero was killed in the first one, but that this is his brother. The guy's like "What? Oh yeah, he's dead, but I'm his brother. Bob-Zero, nice to meet you" (I COULD be paraphrasing) before disappearing completely. I think this movie was followed by a TV show that I can't BELIEVE ran for a full season, but I can't imagine that they bothered to follow up on the what-the-fuckery that this movie presented.

If I remember correctly (and I don't apologize at all if I'm wrong), the villains spend a LOT of time just monologuing like motherfuckers.

I always liked that there basically wouldn't have been a movie if Bruce Willis didn't have a shitty tape deck in his car.

I'm curious to see a movie where EVERY cop on the force is a cop that plays by his own rules. It'd either be the most awesome team ever assembled, as they seem to be the only guys that really know what's up in a regular movie, or it would be the clusterfuck to end all clusterfucks since they're so shitty at working with others. Then again, no one wants to see a movie where everyone follows the rules, does their job, and solves crimes in an efficient manner.

Like I said before, man. BALLS. Well, not that it takes balls to put him in a stinger at the end, but to even acknowledge him in a film at all. If you think about it though, this is Marvel coming full circle and closing a door (and maybe opening a new one) on their disastrous attempt to break their characters into movies three decades ago. Now they're all "What? We can do WHATEVER the fuck we want now".

I've brought this sort of thing up before, and while it would make sense for certain films to be interconnected or exist in the same universe (like if the President was the same guy in every Michael Bay movie or something), I'd be more interested in ones that SHOULDN'T be. For instance, what if in some R-rated adult-oriented action flick, someone's flipping through radio stations, and they come across a song by the most popular musical group in the land that just happens to be a bunch of anthropomorphic chipmunks that perform nothing but covers of already-popular songs, and NO ONE FINDS IT THE LEAST BIT UNUSUAL?

We've already got it right here... http://forum.earwolf.com/topic/4105-johnny-mnemonic/page__hl__%2Bjohnny+%2Bmnemonic__fromsearch__1

I just meant that it's insane that it's gotten to the point where Marvel can build a great movie around a bunch of fourth-stringers and have it be one of the biggest success stories of the year, while WB/DC have trouble pulling the trigger on ANY movie that doesn't involve Batman. I just used Wonder Woman as an example because she's supposedly one of the "Big Three" as far as DC is concerned, but I still think we'll see a proper Black Widow movie from Marvel before too long and that it's as close to a sure thing as you can get in regards to characters that have been featured in other films that haven't yet had a solo flick. On the DC/WB side, the future of EVERYTHING hinges on how Batman/Superman performs, no matter how many movies or which movies they SAY they're going to make.

I thought it took balls to take the two biggest stars in the movie and make them the voices of the tree and the raccoon. It's so bizarre that Marvel is so crazy ahead of the game that they can pull this off and make this a hit, but WB/DC considers Wonder Woman a hard sell. Jesus, the fucking Great Lakes Avengers with be three movies deep into their own franchise before a Flash movie is ever made.

That is the most real, authentic, hysterical thread suggestion of his entire life because THAT IS NOT A JEST!

It should be one of those things that's just permanently pinned to the top of the board, like the "Look to see if your movie has already been suggested" thread, but it could be something like "Knowing if your suggestion is HDTGM-worthy", which could include suggestions and examples of what NOT to do, like just leaving a link to the IMDB page without any rhyme, reason, or explanation. I posted something on the "Paranoia" page (Remember that movie? Me neither...) that STILL gets a lot of Likes for some reason about how something being 0% on Rotten Tomatoes doesn't mean that something is crazy bad. I'm going to go see what it was exactly...

In Australia, the Sharknadoes spin in the OPPOSITE direction. It's science.

I'm not sure that anyone mentioned it, but I think Ian Zeiring ended up RIGHT back where he started at the end from where he was before getting sucked up into the Sharknado, didn't he? The roof of the Empire State Building? Also, Al and Matt were the best actors in the movie, no doubt. Too bad there was no budget for extras, because it would have been a great gag to have all the people standing outside of the Today Show studio getting attacked by sharks (or more likely appearing to have no clue that three sharknadoes are ripping through town) while Al and Matt continuously give is the weather.

The Today Show crew, Kelly Ripa, and Michael Strahan were the funniest parts of the film, as they played it straight and their shows looked and felt like those shows, just with CRAZY subject matter. I was bummed that there wasn't a crowd of people outside of the Today Show studio though, as it could have made for a good sight gag when Al's explaining the weather and people are getting attacked outside. Al and Matt were the best actors in the movie.