PlanBFromOuterSpace

How fucking crazy is it that Marvel's first big attempt of the modern era to get into live action stuff was this horrific SHIELD TV movie/backdoor pilot starring The Hoff, and now fifteen years later, A SHIELD TV show is not only highly-anticipated, but it's ALSO spinning out of a gajillion dollar movie franchise? This film is all kinds of bad, regardless of whether or not it was made for TV, and there's a lot to talk about, especially given the new series and how far Marvel has come from their late-90's bankruptcy. One of the weird things about this movie though is that like another film that HDTGM has covered, "Judge Dredd", the writer (in this case, "Dark Knight" co-scribe David Goyer) actually did their homework and the script features a lot of comic-faithful stuff. I used to have the DVD for this, but I think it's also available in it's entirety on YouTube.

A discussion about how extreme sports movies always have to have a criminal element in the "Quicksilver" thread immediately made me think of this. I may be the only human being that remembers that this thing played for about a week in theaters (except my boss at the theater, who has the poster on display in his living room), and while I'm certain that I haven't seen it in its entirety, it's probably a great (and by that I mean "horribly cringe-worthy") piece of early 2000's nostalgia, when the corpse of the word "Extreme" had only just recently gone cold after being beaten to death with its own skateboard.

I swear, I don’t remember a specific moment from that movie, just that certain things happened. I think Spider-Man 3 was saved from being notoriously bad by being notoriously forgettable. Nothing seemed to work, and it did it in such a perfect balance that it wasn’t bad ENOUGH in any particular direction. It was no Batman & Robin when it came to franchise killers!

I feel like I have to register just for reading the premise.

If only the screenwriter of "Jason X" that had never seen a previous "Friday the 13th" movie was Jonathan Nolan, right? I mean, "Interstellar" was okay, but if Matt Damon's character had been Jason Voorhees instead, it would have been perfect!

"Jason Lives" is my favorite in the series (I think this and "Final Chapter" are THE movies that people that don't really know the series think of when they hear "Friday the 13th"), and it was actually the first one to feature the camp being USED, which adds that extra element of danger. I mean, by that point, he's been killed by a kid in a previous installment and you kind of sort of have a sense of his "rules", so you're not necessarily expecting him to start offing the underage campers, but it makes for a cooler environment.

Avatar Press also made a lot of comics based on Friday the 13th (including Jason X), Nightmare on Elm Street, and Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which were all New Line properties at the time, and they were SUPER gory and trashy, but a lot of fun. I think there was even a Jason Vs. Jason X one-shot or mini, but I'll be damned if I remember how they tried to make sense of that. Later on, all of those comics moved over to DC/Wildstorm, where they became less explicit, but had better stories and decent creators on them. I think I E-Bayed off all the Avatar issues I had, and I really wish that someone would reprint them.

I forget what was said exactly, but one of the hosts said something along the lines of "It would have been one thing if they showed them being a band/singing songs at the beginning...", which reminded me of a recent movie that DID start like that, Kevin Smith's "Yoga Hosers", in which his daughter and Johnny Depp's kid are doing a cover of Anthrax's "I'm the Man" for...reasons. Talk about a movie that has no idea what its audience is...

The marketing for this "It" movie sure is weird, guys...

The poster for this movie says it's rated PG for "Rude Humor". It should ALSO say "...And One Of The Characters Might Be A Piece Of Shit. Literally. A Walking, Talking Piece Of Shit."

Speaking of "Southland Tales", I absolutely hate their reason for not going after it. I believe Paul said that they know and are friends with people that are in it, which we know already, given that half the cast of Saturday Night Live from 1994-2002 is in it and that there are approximately 1.2 million speaking parts. I mean, I may have wandered on set one day and been in the movie myself, THERE'S JUST NO WAY OF KNOWING. Anyway, the movie is a trainwreck worth talking about that no ONE person (besides maybe Richard Kelly) can be blamed for. If any of the HDTGM crew's friends DID do particularly shitty work in it though, they could talk around that all day long and we STILL probably wouldn't know who they were talking about, because the whole thing is madness. I still hold to my original theory from several years ago though, and that's that HDTGM FEARS "Southland Tales".

I'm okay with them, but they're usually not my first choice. I work a lot of wrestling shows and don't get out of those until pretty late, and then a lot of us hang out and grab a bite, so it's usually Denny's, Eat n' Park, or Primanti's (which is open until 2) after the show, depending on where we are and what the closest option is.

In the Pittsburgh area, we have Primanti Bros., a chain of restaurants that has a lot of good stuff, and they put coleslaw on EVERYTHING. Not seen anywhere on their menu? A raisin option. They put coleslaw on everything and not once do they mention them, which goes to show JUST how absurd of an idea it is!

RELEVANT.

Maybe these videos just exist so that they can be watched ironically at a later date then? "I've never once wanted to watch the video of me making the big game-winning play in the state football championship, but now that I've had my legs destroyed in a horrific car accident, I can't think of a better way to take my mind off of things!".

I just got to the part where they're talking about actor/activist Ron Silva's gross mouth sounds, where Paul says he probably just brought his craft service stuff into the scene, and that reminded me of how I've seen movies and shows that I've worked on where the character has a coffee cup or something that DID just come from catering. If there's a scene in an office or a police station or something, you'll see them all over the place.

I want to say that it's happened a lot in other movies, but I'm struggling to come up with an older example at the moment. As far as that trope is concerned though, it made me think that if you were filming ANYTHING with your family in it back then, they were pretty much fucked, because the only time you ever see anyone watching these videos back is in cases JUST like this, where a wife and/or kid has been killed. No one's ever watching them for fun, not that they're fun things to watch anyway. I film weddings on the side, and holy shit, talk about a waste of money...

Everything I know about the San Diego area code, I learned from...

Speaking of Hyams/Van Damme jams, I highly recommend the two most recent "Universal Soldier" movies, "Regeneration" and "Day of Reckoning", which are directed by JOHN Hyams, the son of director Peter Hyams. They were essentially straight-to-video/VOD movies (at least here in the States) that look WAY better than they should, probably because Peter was the cinematographer on "Regeneration", which is a direct sequel to the first film and forgets about "Universal Soldier: The Return", a flaming piece of garbage where JCVD co-starred with Bill Goldberg and Michael Jai White. Anyway, JCVD's character is still a reanimated super soldier that's now dealing with PTSD and having to save the Russian president's family (or something) from a new UniSol played by MMA fighter Andrei Arlovski, as well as the clone of Dolph Lundgren. The action is pretty sick and it looks like a Bourne movie. In "Day of Reckoning", JCVD has gone rogue and is more of a background character, leading a cult of sleeper UniSols, and it's up to Scott Adkins (whose family may or may not have been murdered by JCVD) to find him and put him down. It's sort of like "Apocalypse Now", but plays out like a conspiracy thriller/horror movie, while also featuring some sick, sick action. High recommends!

The first "Universal Soldier" and the most recent two make a pretty solid trilogy. They're all such different kinds of movies, with the last one feeling like a horror movie at times.

Because you know what you should do after people have been killed and maimed on your production? Rush. Yeah, nothing else could possibly go wrong...

I also like that he was so sure that it would GET to a third one. Sure, the first one didn't do so great, and the script for the second one was picking up dust, but dammit, there's too much story just waiting to be told!

So, Mike Marvin wrote "Hot Dog" and then got to direct "Hamburger"? He's like a regular Joss Whedon, as those were truly the "Avengers" and "Justice League" of screwball 80s titty comedies! I'd argue that he may be one of the greatest filmmakers of our time.

I'm only halfway through the episode, so maybe it gets brought up, but based on listening to the trailer alone, I thought "Ghost Rider". Also, if Johnny Depp was up for a role in this, he scenes may have ALSO ended up being very limited, because he too got hired for "Platoon".

Unlike Whitney, I was not raised by this movie, but it DID at least teach me how to drive stick. It stepped in and helped in times when my parents were of no use.