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PlanBFromOuterSpace

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Posts posted by PlanBFromOuterSpace

  4. Posted

    I'm pretty sure I discovered this film for myself around 1988 or so. I was 10 and was just getting into slasher flicks. Over the course of 2 or 3 weekends, my parents sat me down with all of the Friday the 13ths and Nightmare on Elm Streets that were out on video at that point and watched them along with me. I was pretty much the last of my friends to see these, and my mom had been worried that they were too much for me. Over the course of these marathons, I learned that my mom was just so, so weak, that she'd get creeped out by anything, so if the movies weren't enough of a blast, me and my dad also had fun just picking on my mom.

     

    So anyway, I think it was around the time that Friday the 13th part 7 had hit VHS. I went looking for it at the local Blockbuster, but being a new release, they were out of copies, so I ventured on over to the recently-unlocked-to-me horror section. I saw the cover for the SECOND Sleepaway Camp, which featured a girl with a backpack that had a hockey mask and Freddy's glove in it, and it looked like the most awesome thing ever. Having never heard of this series, I picked up the first film, which had a very Friday the 13th-like cover. I figured it would totally be the same thing, right? I don't think my pre-teen mind even really caught all the gay stuff, and aside from the girl having a weiner at the end, I just remember it being a shitty Friday the 13th clone. It would take another decade or so and another viewing to truly appreciate all the what-the-fuckery on display, but even then, it was still a shitty knockoff, albeit a fantastically bad, highly watchable, gay as the day is long, unintentional comic masterpiece of a knockoff. Still haven't seen part 2 except for bits and pieces here and there, but from what I understand, I'm not missing a fucking thing...

  5. Posted

    As far as other stuff in the mini episode is concerned, I've always made the argument that you could take any song from the Rocky IV soundtrack, and replace the national anthem with it. It's the least we could do for that film, what with it single-handedly ending the Cold War and all. Please rise for Robert Tepper's "No Easy Way Out"...

  6. Posted

    Yeah, what's insane about it is that the slasher part of it STARTS OUT with an attempted rape! That's where it starts! So there's no way to escalate things after that; the rest of the deaths occur to people that are just sort of mildly mean. It should have built up to the rape, not kick things off with it!

     

    I also genuinely feel like this film was made by pedophiles. This isn't a movie with co-ed, freshmen in college teenagers. These are like, freshmen in high school teenagers; the oldest teen in this movie cannot be older than 17, which means that none of the characters would be legally allowed to watch this movie without a parent. And yet all these kids are wearing impossibly short shorts, feeling each other up constantly and cursing like sailors and banging disgustingly old people. I feel like this should have been a cautionary movie for teens, but since teens aren't even technically allowed to see it, it's basically just kiddie porn.

     

    You forgot about all the half-shirts!

  7. Posted

    Didn't they mention "Cobra" quite a while ago?

     

    Anyway, "Sleepaway Camp" is such a bizarre film. While it has overtly gay elements, it's also one of the most UNironically homoerotic films I've ever seen. It's like Top Gun without the planes. It's like "Nightmare on Elm Street 2", minus the unironic homoeroticism.

  9. Posted

    Remember, he's also got a big Marvel movie that he's working on, "Guardians of the Galaxy", that features a team of intergalactic heroes consisting of such creatures as (no shit) a talking raccoon and a tree. I never imagined we'd live in a world where moviegoers still aren't too big on Superman, the cinematic future of Batman is uncertain, and Justice League has yet to rise above rumors, but Marvel is so, so far ahead of the game that it seems like they're just making some movies because someone dared them too.

     

    I picture some sort of "Trading Places"-type scenario where one old guy is betting another old guy one dollar that they can give a Troma guy 200 million bucks to make a Rocket Raccoon summer tentpole movie, and that it'll be a hit. I want so fucking bad for Nic Cage to be the voice of that talking rodent...

    • Like 1

  12. Posted

    The DVD is fantastic, because you have the choice to listen to either Arnold's original voice track or the dubbed voice, and you can only take so much of either one for so long, so switching back and forth works out pretty well. To me, it seemed very similar to a lot of Jackie Chan's movies, only in the case of those films, it's clear that there are various languages being spoken, and the actors aren't so much acting as they're waiting for the other person to stop talking so that they can say their line before they forget it.

  13. Posted

    I loved this movie and it is absolutely designed for this show. Right up there with "Crank: High Voltage" and "Punisher: War Zone" in terms of sheer gross insanity.

     

    the-fp-movie-image-1.jpg

     

    One of the brothers that made this was actually the cinematographer on Crank 2 and Ghost Rider 2, so he IS from the Neveldine/Taylor camp, and has also worked on a bunch of other stuff, including some Rob Zombie films, so I'm sure that plays a hand in the crazy aesthetic. I liked this movie a lot, and I thought it was much more of a throwback to the 80's style than a lot of bigger movies that claim to do the same. It's streaming on Netflix, but I suggest picking up the DVD or Blu-Ray to see the special features, as it was pretty damn impressive to see how they pulled all of this off with a microbudget.

  14. Posted

    Please don't do Star Wars. Total waste of your talents. It's been done to death by everyone.

     

    Indeed, Episode I is the deadest horse there is, and I think it's worst crime, more than a decade removed from having any sort of relevance, is that it is insanely boring. I don't think it's outrageously bad in any way, and seeing as how the other films in the prequel trilogy were kind of lackluster as well, it's just the most disappointing of an altogether mildly disappointing series. I tried re-watching Phantom Menace recently when I picked up the Blu-Ray set, and I don't think I even remember a good 50 percent of the movie at least.

  16. Posted

    I was one of about the nine people that saw this in the theater, and I don't really remember anything besides the almost 100% lack of nudity. I know the internet was a relatively new thing, and that it took something like 28 minutes to download a few Pam Anderson pics (if I was lucky enough to not have any phone calls during that time), but it's still no surprise that NO ONE (except apparently me and about eight other people) was willing to pay to see her ACT when you could see the goods for free at home, all with the benefit of not having to hear her say a word, much less listen as she would awkwardly strung several of them together in a sentence. I think at that point, we'd almost all moved on to Jenny McCarthy anyway...

  17. Posted

    Has anyone else read Kevin Murphy's "A Year at the Movies?" He wrote a scathing essay on the movie, pointing out how impossible it is to like the main character, scolds Diane Keaton for being involved in such a bad film after being in so many great ones, and saying that if the reader ever finds a copy of the movie at a friend's house, they should throw it in their fireplace.

     

    Jeez, Diane Keaton has barely used good decision-making in the decade since. "Because I Said So", "Mad Money", and "Morning Glory" anyone? "Town & Country" is hardly the only blemish on her record now...

  19. Posted

    Oh yes. How on earth can you have crazy ideas like curving bullet trajectories and looms that determine who should be killed, and still be such a dull, average action film? Can you imagine what the "Crank" guys could've done with that stuff?

     

    It may have been closer to the original material. In the comic, it's a secret society of supervillains that rules the world, and Wesley ends up taking his dad's spot in the gang he was in. It's more of an ultraviolent satire of superhero comics, everyone's an asshole, and only the basic premise made it into the movie. It puzzles me when they make a hard-R action movie for adults and decide they need to tone it down. For another PERFECT example of this, look no further than "Kick-Ass", an adaptation of another Mark Millar comic. The original story is incredibly nasty, a lot darker than it's cinematic counterpart, and has twists and turns that are either missing from the movie or completely spelled out from the beginning (like Red Mist's betrayal). Instead of being a down and dirty comic superhero movie for adults, "Kick-Ass" isn't much more than "Spider-Man" with Tourette's.

  20. Posted

    This is a case of the original film being better left on it's own, because the things I imagined happening later were more satisfying than what actually did, which isn't necessarily the fault of the filmmakers, but they always run the risk of pissing away the good will from before. It gets things off to a REALLY bad start when you're disappointed with where they're at at the beginning of the new story, and when you START disappointed, it's an uphill battle for the film. I liken it to (even though they're completely different films and stories) "Dark Knight Rises". After "Dark Knight", my brain was running wild with all the possibilities of all the adventures that Batman would be having and how the dynamic had changed with him and the cops, but then right away in the new film, they tell you "Yeah, he retired about 2 minutes after the end of the last movie and has LITERALLY been doing nothing for almost a decade". WHAT?!? In the case of both the previous films in the Nolan Batman series and the original "Matrix" film, I still love what came before, but it's a buzzkill to know that you already know that you're not going to be satisfied with the endgame.

  21. Posted

    Could it have been chapter stops on the DVD and this was just a REALLY shitty transfer to Netflix? That wouldn't surprise me. I think it's Crackle that I've used where the movies are free, BUT they cut in with commercials from time to time at points where it makes no sense whatsoever. It's less like a TV version and more like you're skipping around on a DVD or if you're throwing an ad in every 10 minutes or something. It's very jarring, more than if it would just pause or black out for a sec like you said.

  22. Posted

    Samhain.

     

    It features Jenna Jameson and has a guy killed by having his bowels ripped out. Also, Hallowe'en is partly based on the harvest festival of Samhain.

     

    Oh man, I saw this one with my old roommate and his girlfriend. After Jenna Jameson (who's in a grand total of two scenes) gets totally eviscerated, I remember telling the girlfriend something like "Believe it or not, she probably still shows more of her insides at her REGULAR acting gig".

    • Like 1

  23. Posted

    What about Halloween 6 with Paul Rudd. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person who's seen that movie. They try pathetically to shoehorn an entire mythology into the series.

     

    Halloween 6, while much more of a Halloween film than part 3 (which isn't really saying anything), really did it's best to murder the franchise by going the route that already DIDN'T work for the most recent Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th installments ("New Nightmare" and "Jason Goes to Hell") and making the killer a supernatural force of nature. This is the film that Danielle Harris wouldn't come back for (look at her resume, she ain't picky...), not to mention it KILLED Donald Pleasence. In a way though, it was kind of a blessing in disguise in that it introduced us to the unintentionally hilarious dramatic acting of young Paul Rudd, and it failed so badly that we got Jamie Lee Curtis back in a REAL Halloween movie...before the series went off the rails again with Busta Rhymes all of a sudden using his kung-fu skills to beat Michael Myers.

     

    I'm not sure I've seen it mentioned yet, but did anyone that's seen Halloween 3 wonder why it seemed like EVERY kid in America had one of the same 3 masks, like they were LITERALLY the only Halloween costumes that year?

  24. Posted

     

     

     

    That's what I heard as well about Halloween 3, but when Season failed so badly and was hated so much after the first two, they went back to movies with Michael Meyers. Though to be fair the following sequels weren't that good either up until the Rob Zombie remakes.

     

    While I wasn't a fan of his second Halloween film, I think Rob Zombie catches too much shit for his remake. Same goes for the Platinum Dunes remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, as people like to pretend that these franchises were WAY better than they were, when in all honesty, they were pretty much coasting on the goodwill of the original films. Your mileage may vary on the second TCM, but the Platinum Dunes remake is AT LEAST the third best film in that series. Holy shit, the fourth movie, the one with Renee Zellweger and Matthew McConaughey that looks like it was shot on video, needs to be covered here, and with a new TCM coming up, it would be pretty topical...

  25. Posted

    2004 Van Damme had a pretty glorious mullet though, didn't he? I haven't seen this movie in forever, so I don't remember exactly, but was 1994 Mia Sara all "Who are you?" in a legit "who is this stranger before me" way, or was it "Who are you?" in a playful "Oh, you're fuckin' right I know who you are, but God damn, that hair just made you a million times more fuckable in a She's All That, a movie that won't be invented for 5 more years, 'just taking off the glasses to reveal the hotness inside' kind of way" manner?

    • Like 1
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