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PlanBFromOuterSpace

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Posts posted by PlanBFromOuterSpace

  1. Posted

    God, I just watched Liz and Dick in preparation for next episode and woooow. And just for reference, I watched the whooooole thing.

     

    I don't even know if that was hilariously or amazingly bad. Just bad. I think there were only two or three times where I laughed at something for being stupid. The rest of the time I just contemplated Lohan's choice of accent and how many years were supposed to have passed from beginning to end. Oh, and why they were in a blackbox sometimes and most of the time not. And also I wondered if Elizabeth Taylor is rolling in her grave.

     

    This is the first time I've watched a movie specifically in preparation for the next episode, so I'm excited for this one!

     

    I really don't know what they're going to have to talk about the whole time. I mentioned that last week, how it wasn't outrageously bad or particularly memorable in any way. It's very repetitive, as they seem to be breaking up and getting back together every 2 minutes, and it doesn't seem like there's a story so much as just a bunch of vignettes strung together. It wasn't clever at all when it was trying to be clever (Hey, it's like Lindsay's commenting on herself! GET IT?!?!?), and if anything, it just made me want to watch "Walk Hard" again. EVERYONE should watch "Walk Hard" again.

  4. Posted

    I know, you were at Wal-Mart today too, and you were ALSO asking yourself "The Dark Knight Trilogy on Blu-Ray for 28 bucks? That's too good to be true, isn't it? I mean, sure, there will be a double-dip eventually, but they'll at least wait until the next Batman flick or Justice League to pull some shady shit like that, right?". Sure enough, there's a slip in it (that I tried to post a picture of) that offers you a discount on collectibles that will be included in the ULTIMATE COLLECTOR'S EDITION Dark Knight Trilogy, Coming 2013. Assholes...

  5. Posted

    "Mortal Kombat: Annihilation" would be even better. The first one was dumb, but it was fine for what it was. The second one tried to jam in about a hundred different characters, each with about 2 minutes of screen time, and was just fucking stupid. It's probably the worst film I've ever seen in a theater, and I actually saw it in the theater the same day as I saw what's probably my favorite movie ever, "Boogie Nights", at the same theater. The universe has a crazy way of balancing itself out like that.

  6. Posted

    Bean checks out pretty early too, which is odd, as he was arguably the biggest name in this thing when it came out in 2002 or 2003. Yeah, think about that. This movie starred a guy that was THIS close to becoming one of the most successful stars of the last decade, but SEAN BEAN was the hook.

     

    I'm not being sarcastic here, but I thought it was pretty brilliant that this unbeatable fighting style was based around MATH. Being able to know and adjust for every possible outcome is fucking bonkers.

  7. Posted

    I feel really sorry for the screenwriter/s that were told by Lionsgate they had to come up with two movies worth of material for a book that really has less going on plotwise than even the first Harry Potter. No wonder they had to have a ridiculously long closing credits sequence, and create an extended battle scene that wasn't in the books.

     

    Seems like a pretty transparent attempt by the studio to simply bilk another $700,000 out of their audience. But hey, silver lining, we got another excellent episode of HDTGM.

    I think you're missing a zero or three, but you're right. On a related note, it's funny how no matter how much a movie makes, how many movies there are in a series, or how much they market the shit out of them, some people still won't know what they are, because I still have people walking into my theater that don't know what ANYTHING is. In the last couple of weeks, I've had a few "What's that Breaking Dawn Part 2 movie", and loving to make things difficult for people, I said "Well, it's the second Breaking Dawn film". "Oh...", they say. To which I add "Yeah, and it's like the fifth Twilight movie. They've each made a half a billion dollars or so". Blank stares...

     

    There's also been WAY too much confusion between this and another movie with "Dawn" in it's title that's currently also in theaters. I figure if you're there to see one or the other, you KNOW the difference between your dawns. One's a Twilight movie, and the other's a remake of a movie that's been on TV every day of your life that you've seen at least 14 times, whether you meant to or not.

  10. Posted

    WOW, I had completely forgotten about this one. That's really saying something, because I've worked at a theater for approximately forever, and I seem to remember every bullshit little thing that comes out. Did it come out around the holidays though? Those seem to be the most forgettable movies of that type, even if they do have someone like Jack Nicholson, Diane Keaton, or Meryl Streep in them. They're aimed at grandparents that force their families to take them to things.

  11. Posted

    So was it the OTHER one where they tried to raise awareness of the destruction of the rain forests and the evils of corporate culture through dry-humping? The newest "Step Up" movie reminded me of that. The trailers were all like "Our dancing is going to cause change and revolution!". Sorry asshole, but no, it's just fucking up everyone's drive to work.

    • Like 1

  13. Posted

    I know I'm late to the game here. I just wanted to point out before you guys start to believe the Jacob/Renesmee plot is them being just friends or like family: no way, not at all.

     

    In the book, there's a scene in which Carlisle uses ridiculous pseudo-science nonsense to try to explain what Renesmee is going to be like. He says that since humans have 23 chromosomes and vampires have 25, Renesmee will have 24. So why does Stephanie Meyer even bother bringing this up? Because she goes on to explain that werewolves have 24 chromosomes, which is her way of implying that Renesmee and Jacob are capable of having biological offspring. Now, ignoring the fact that this totally isn't how procreation works, this sets up that Jacob and Renesmee are meant to be in a sexual relationship.

     

    Also, it's explained in the book way better than in the movies that imprinting is some sort of animal instinct-like thing which is meant to ensure that the werewolf species lives on, which means that imprinting is specifically designed to keep werewolves procreating. So again, even if Jacob and Renesmee's relationship doesn't immediately start as sexual, it is expected from all involved to lead to a sexual relationship. You know, like child grooming, but ten times creepier.

     

    In short, as Jason said last time, "he's gonna fuck that baby".

    I always though that an extra chromosome led to Down Syndrome or something. I forget what it was exactly, but I had just learned about how having extra chromosomes was a BAD thing right before the movie "Doom" came out, and wouldn't you know it, an extra chromosome was the source of power for THOSE monsters as well. Man, that would have been a much more interesting film, The Rock and Karl Urban taking down an entire planet full of Downs Syndrome patients...

  14. Posted

    I'm most impressed that Jeff Goldblum was able to shut down an advanced alien race's defenses with a Macbook in 1996. And of course, there was like a laughing skull and crossbones or something when the virus was delivered, because the aliens know what that means...

  19. Posted

    Who cares about the tired Superman spider fiasco. Jay and Silent Bob versus Pinhead was something that actually had a chance of happening!

     

    http://www.cracked.com/article_20113_5-insane-pop-culture-crossovers-that-almost-happened.html

     

    It's #2 on the list, a solid #2...

    [/left]

    After 2001's Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back seemed to mark the retirement of the two characters, Smith

    received a phone call from Miramax head Harvey Weinstein, presumably looking for the quickest way to spray ropy diarrhea tendrils all over the Oscar cred the studio had built up during the '90s. Weinstein's idea was to do a Jay and Silent Bob/Hellraiser crossover, like the classic comedy/horror mashup Bud Abbott and Lou Costello Meet Frankenstein, only with more sadomasochistic demon torture.

     

    Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_20113_5-insane-pop-culture-crossovers-that-almost-happened_p2.html#ixzz2DTFOR3Tq

    [/left]

  20. Posted

     

    I agree, Kramer vs. Kramer can eat a dick.

    Have you seen the SNL skit with Norm McDonald and Stallone where Norm was in a car accident or something, and Stallone is trying to save him, but Norm's just dogging on his movies while he's sitting there bleeding to death? One of the remarks is "Kramer vs. Kramer was a good movie, sure, but it just didn't have enough arm wrestling in it".

  21. Posted

    Lautner has historically been pretty bad at being funny, so while you can blame the lame humor on the writers, his delivery doesn't help it sound any better. I mentioned months ago in the "Abduction" thread that if his characters existed in the real world, and not these bizarre alternate dimensions where he's the coolest and funniest guy in the room, you'd be telling him right to his face to just shut the fuck up before he even got the chance to make another quip. He's the guy that still says "Whoa, why don't you tell us how you REALLY feel!". I met Lautner a couple of times when I worked on "Abduction" in Pittsburgh (Did you know the movie takes place in Pittsburgh? The movie itself tells you every 20 seconds just in case you weren't sure), and while he seems like a nice enough kid, I have the feeling that he's going to drop off the radar in a big way before popping up in bit parts in Robert Rodriguez movies in a few years or something.

  22. Posted

    At least we now know that ur hat has to be turned backwards in order to properly arm wrestle. And wasn't the grand prize in that movie a new semi truck?

     

    You're completely wrong! The grand prize was the love and admiration of his son! This is one of the most underrated divorce dramas of all time.

    • Like 1

  25. Posted

    I was only half paying attention after the first 40 minutes or so, but it seemed like the whole movie was just a bunch of vignettes strung together, like it only handles one thing at a time and nothing has any effect on anything else. For instance, they get offered Virginia Wolfe, they star in Virginia Woolfe, they're nominated for Oscars and Dick loses. That ALL happens in like 5 minutes, but I'm sure it had to have taken up a year of their lives, and some of the other stuff in the movie is probably taking place at the same time. The whole movie is like that, just segments strung together, with them fighting and making up every 2 minutes until Dick just dies at the end. Pretty lame.

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