wyldride

Happy birthday, my sweet @cheezitslut . Will you do me this the greatest of honours: http://t.co/ikdmfrQ5 #marryme #bemyiwife #pleaseRT

Happy birthday. http://t.co/aTfMJLSB RT @AmberLily celebrating my birthday in about an hour

Happy Easter! http://t.co/YbwNdYytVD

Happy Global Circumference Underestimation Day

Happy Jennimas. Just print and fold. @NikkiGlaser Is everyone having a good Jennifer Aniston's birthday? http://t.co/OUcyY6OF

Happy new year. Remember, kids -- Don't drink and dial: http://t.co/4yMmSefk

Happy St. Patty's Day: http://t.co/1wX9VL5zbB

Happy Tartan Day @cheezitslut http://t.co/mU7Y20GI2h

Hard sauce, Har[d]woods&Balls? What are you implying, Chutney? RT @iliza Lil dab'll do ya http://t.co/hEO9IXQB

Harry Potter+Horse=Equus. RT @GeekandSundry Cute of the day: Horse edition! He's Harry Potter

Hashtag humblebrag? RT @natalimorris Except the flight attendant thought I was their babysitter

Haunch tease: http://t.co/HiI1RX2N RT @iliza Monday haunch day #showMeYourHaunches

Haunchosexual? RT @iliza I wanna put Blanche in this and tell her I love her no matter her sexual orientation

He did: He named it Dawg. RT @4EvaMartino who should name his fucking dog

He knocked them over really quickly? RT @SunnyMabrey But how can Eric Benet win if he just knocked over like 3 hurdles

He probably did it to be funny: He knew you did stand up comedy. #groan RT @SabrinaJalees You stand me up on a craigslist buy?

He's not dead, just sleeping. Just need a couple necklaces w/other horses standing guard, as they do. RT @iliza dead horse necklace?

He's terrible at the "guess who" game. He didn't cover your eyes at all. RT @NauticaThorn Nice photo bomb creepy guy.

Hebride #worksontwolevels #scottishisland RT @iliza What kind of bride would you be?

Here you go: http://t.co/cbf9BEv0 RT @justmyca Ooo someone find me a secret prince

Here's a French site w/transcripts: http://t.co/MYNmwM3m RT @laylakayleigh excerpt of True Blood script

Here's the thing about "manscaping": How do you get the little squares of toilet paper to stick to your junk?

Here's your 7 month chip: It's sour cream and onion flavoured. RT @saraschaefer1 I have been 7 months sober from diet soda

Hey there, Little Red Riding Hood: http://t.co/wI1mrrKf RT @SaraUnderwood trying 2 get my extraterrestrial back home http://t.co/keNHEjAN

Hey, Christina, I don't know what you were doing in that bathroom stall in the Your Body video, but that is not what the Toilet Duck is for.