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wyldride

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Posts posted by wyldride

  1. Posted

    Amusingly, the destructo-balls avoid killing children for about 3 seconds before, of course, undoubtedly killing hundreds of children when it destroys the highway. Way to keep things consistent.

     

    The lead character is such a screw up that he's forced by his brother to join the navy. Somehow in he's become an officer, but we've never seen him be anything but the same screw up, to the point that he's about to be ejected from the navy, before he's somehow the senior officer and saves the planet. It sure is a good thing that the navy sucks at promoting competent people. "What? He's an insubordinate ass who doesn't really want to be here? Quick! Make him Captain!"

     

    Then there's the scene where he's touched by the alien and has a vision -- Which he never shares with anyone and the movie never brings it up again.

    • Like 1

  7. Posted

    This movie is so ridiculously confusing that it needs a 90 minute Red Letter Media style review to sort out all the ways society has failed Peter, Ricky and every child at the camp for this plot to have happened. The only logical explanation is every character in the world of Sleepaway Camp is insane. No matter how many layers you try to peel back to find the logic behind the actions of anyone in this movie, you just find more insanity. It's like he had three plot points in mind: boating accident at the beginning, dad's homosexuality in the middle, and Peter's true identity as an ending, but he had no idea whatsoever how to connect any of them into a coherent story that involved anyone acting in a sensible manner.

  11. Posted

    How it should have ended:

     

    Assassin #1: "Wait -- We've been taking instructions from a loom all this time?"

    Assassin #2: "Yeah. Didn't you know that?"

    #1: "Uh, I think I was sick the day they taught loom -- I guess. Well, then we all do deserve to die."

    #2: "For violating the sanctity of the loom?"

    #1: "No, being so stupid as to go around killing people because a magic loom told us to."

    *bang*

    • Like 1

  13. Posted

    Killer Eye: Halloween Haunt

     

    Sort of a vague sequel to The Killer Eye, but only in the sense that they keep showing footage from it because the characters are sort of watching it. I honestly only watched it because comedienne Danielle Stewart plays the voice of one of the characters' mother over the phone. But, hey, there's nudity. It doesn't make the movie any better, but it does make it a bad movie with nudity.

  16. Posted

    To be fair, if you're not aware that time travel exists and you meet someone that's too old to be someone you're familiar with, you are more likely to assume imposter or unknown relative, than you are to assume time traveller. Because husband from the future is, from your perspective, impossible.

  18. Posted

    Surrogates goes completely off the rails (such as they are) when the (so-called) protagonist suddenly decides "Screw all these people who are perfectly happy living their lives the way they are: The terrorist has it right! From now on, you're living your life in the way I find acceptable." Yeah, uh, good call Bruce.

  20. Posted

    They didn't reboot the series because this movie was bad. This movie was bad so they could reboot the series. If Spider-man 3 was a success, it'd mean they'd have to pay way more to the actors and director for Spider-man 4. So the studio tanked this one on purpose by insisting on a bunch of useless crap being thrown in. The result is a reboot with a higher profit margin with new actors and a new director.

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