wyldride

Just happy to be part of the process. RT @morgan_murphy hey fellas most of your twitter profiles make me un-cum.

Divorce is always hardest on the children. Well someone's children, anyway. RT @NikkiGlaser They say it's not my fault.

Here's your 7 month chip: It's sour cream and onion flavoured. RT @saraschaefer1 I have been 7 months sober from diet soda

Time to get a new clock. RT @WendyLiebman So um what time IS it?! http://t.co/tbor96K8

Nope--You're good. Maybe with a dowery, just to seal the deal? RT @TheDaniStew Am I too white to get in on an arranged marriage?

"She's pretty&funny--I'd I'll do a pratfall 2 impress her." RT @alysiawood A man just smashed into a glass door...while checking me out

Ignore it in favour of the brand by the name of "What's cheapest". RT @thegynomite What do we do about this?

Not all the common, and rarely sensible. RT @Amy_Davidson Common Sense

Well, there are a lot of them out there to choose from . RT @TheDaniStew Only an idiot would date me

Just so you know: those are absolutely not the rules. RT @laylakayleigh "Also you have to vote or you can't bitch later. Thems the rules!"

I don't think that's how Yavov Smirnov jokes are supposed to work. RT @RachelFeinstein in Russia ... "I want stack some pork in you."

I have a copy, but haven't gotten around to seeing it yet. Is it good? RT @iliza Anyone else see VHS?

So you're not getting older, you're getting better--At looking your correct age? RT @WhitneyCummings 30 years of looking 53

I was wondering why they hold it today: http://t.co/YL8TpXAS RT @rainnwilson For all the women giving birth today, this is your holiday.

Which became substantially easier 1ce Google existed RT @gracehelbig My 1 long-standing Labor Day tradition is googling "what is Labor Day?"

Actor, rapper, club owner, solo porn performer. Quite the resume. RT @pariskennedy Simon Rex was in a rap crew

If U made them&they made U, who picked up the middle&who made who? #acdc RT @SarahKSilverman Did U make mankind after we made U #DearGod

Maybe you'll get reviewed by this kid: http://t.co/Qlimxbwk RT @iliza Yankee Candle front of candle picture photographer

Well, you shouldn't leave them lying around where anyone can get them. RT @alisonhaislip stole all my friends

Big, roughly spherical thing in the sky? Yeah, it's been there awhile. RT @katemicucci HOLY SMOKES HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOON???!!!!!!!

"Oh, oh woah oh oh -- Caught in the battlements." RT @ActionChick Gaga sings, "Bad Romance," not "Battle Man's." I prefer "Battle Man's."

The dentist probably ran out of the red pills and had to give you a blue one. RT @laylakayleigh coming out of The Matrix

Is it, "Ow! Stop poking me with that! Do you need a timeout?" RT @aots First rule of Toddler Fight Club?

I'll have to see what I can do. RT @cheezitslut All I ever really wanted to be was somebody's "old lady" in a biker gang

Much better than my plan of stapling a note reading "Do no punch" to their foreheads. RT @aprilmacie remind men not to punch them