wyldride

They make the computer chips in the timers&have special code to make them win. RT @cheezitslut who's in charge of the medal count? China?

Wrong kind of bath salts. RT @ClareGrant Let me eat your face http://t.co/7BVdkuJi

He knocked them over really quickly? RT @SunnyMabrey But how can Eric Benet win if he just knocked over like 3 hurdles

Standards? What are standards? RT @oldbakerman Never lower your standards

Maybe his friends are stopping him: http://t.co/FRrdj6V8 RT @MaryPattersonB if he doesn't even text you whilst intoxicated

His mummy made it for him. RT @saraschaefer1 Sexy bandage dress

Yep. Only one gender can get any sex wearing leggings. RT @skydart There is no such thing as "unisex leggings".

If you are, bewary of Anorexia Necrosa: http://t.co/8xXwNPkH RT @sandeepparikh @theGuild Unless i'm a zombie on page 8

Like my app: scans check, tells U when it's safe 2 dine&dash. RT @saraschaefer1 App idea: it scans the check&tells everyone what they owe

"Upon entering the cave, my hair stood on end." RT @NikkiGlaser @saraschaefer1 @80Miles #danglinggerund

But 2 music, like sync'd swimming. Specifically 1 tune: Blue Danube. Do do do do do *splash* RT @WendyLiebman Synchronized Belly Flopping

Was the joke sponge worthy? RT @jenmurphycomedy Just wrote a joke about a dishwashing sponge

Well -- That just seems like an arbitrary rule. RT @SabrinaJalees #BreakUpIf his ringtone is another woman having an orgasm.

Ooh -- I didn't know they sold those by the bag. RT @iliza "how will this look on my dog's head?" http://t.co/5GhfgpFO

Is it right this rumour I've been hearing? That NASA is a little Mars curious?

Yes. But don't tell Pluto. We totally didn't invite them. They just whine about being demoted, anyway. RT @AmberTozer is this a planet party

But, on the plus side, you'd never forget your honeymoon. RT @AmberTozer 10 miles into the trip we die

Is this the same Blue Jean from the David Bowie song, or a different 1? RT @CarrieKeagan There was a girl named Blue Jean. She was torn up.

It's another adaptation of PKD's story, not Total Recall remake. Should've called it Memory Whole. RT @ActionChick Total Recall (2012)

This always happens when we go 2 Sally Sparrow's house RT @micheleboyd It's not a proper party w/out sum weeping angels http://t.co/hTQC09SE

Yeah, I can never get a good sleeve fit either. Oh, right, you were joking. RT @iliza I'd give my right arm for a good fitting t shirt

Also, remember to give her water&walk her everyday. RT @iliza My 15 year old sister is visiting me and I keep forgetting to feed her.

I don't know Spanish, so I can't be sure, But I think La Bamba is about ordering non-vegetarian pizza. "Yo, no soy marinara!"

"Forget the cherry stem, I'm trying the straw in a knot with my tongue." RT @CarrieKeagan Caption this... http://t.co/lHSYgtGf

Now is that like the Flexible Annuity? RT @cheezitslut My grandparents claim they came up with a sex act called The Reverse Mortgage.