wyldride

"Don't mention the gluten. I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it." RT @NikkiGlaser How about Gluten-free conversation?

"Even their fish sandwich has seahorse in it." - John Richardson, 8 out of 10 Cats

"Forget the cherry stem, I'm trying the straw in a knot with my tongue." RT @CarrieKeagan Caption this... http://t.co/lHSYgtGf

"Gaga googoo" #FirstWordProblems

"Geez, calm down, Ozzy -- Don't bite my head off!" - A bat

"Good Dogs Go to Heaven, But Rabid Dogs Go Everywhere." - Meat Loaf's Dog RT @AmberTozer Old Yeller are you in dog heaven

"Haunch guilty." RT @iliza "Blanche! You've been accused of Grand Beefery- how do you plead?"

"Heals coldsores in as little as 4.1 days" Uh, can we just say about 4 days? No 1 measures in 1/10 days. How precise do we need 2B here?

"Heeeeyy! Sexy lady!" My brain was singing this part, just before I read your tweet. RT @iliza Love having Gagnam Style stuck in my head

"Here she comes now, hey, nonny, nonny. Shoot 'em down, turn around, c'mon nonny." #muchadoaboutsomethingorother

"Hold on to your pubes, bitches -- It's gonna be @wyldride." - @NikkiGlaser "Wait--Whose pubes am I to hold onto?!?" - @wyldride

"How come my iPhone 5 pictures R purple?" "We improved the camera. It's clearer" "But it's the wrong colour" "But clearly the wrong colour"

"How do U sell cauliflower to wrestlers?" "Cauliflower! Get yer cauliflower 'ere!" #yep #itsimpossible RT @AmberTozer joke about cauliflower

"I actually preferred Saved by the Bell: The New Class." - No one, ever.

"I cazn't believes you sez dat?!?" RT @cheezitslut "You're my favorite." http://t.co/zfv4UTaccO

"I feel a great disturbance in the traffic." B. Kenobi RT @thegynomite LA is weirder than NYC RT @WehoDaily: darth vader...on hollywood blvd

"I hate the early bird." #firstwormproblems

"I just met you, and may be crazy, but here's my blacklist: Commie maybe?" - Sen. McCarthy

"I mean, not professionally, or anything, just sometimes in a restaurant or @ the side of the road" RT @cheezitslut &SOMETIMES male stripper

"I should end it but I defend it. Well I can't comprehend it. Baby B my co-dependent." http://t.co/X0vs1JFy @thegynomite #codendentlovesongs

"I'd only go on Plenty of Fish if I was trying to date a mermaid." #yhtbt

"I'm going to Disney World!" http://t.co/bVhl3M0b

"I'm not a jukebox, but I do play one on TV." RT @iliza I don't always play a jukebox, but when I do- I play Nu Shooz

"I'm thinking of going into couples therapy -- With my therapist. That's a thing, right?" #livetweetyhtbt97

"I've fallen and I can't get tech support!" RT @saraschaefer1 just had a Falling Down moment in Apple