wyldride

Happy 6017th Birthday, Earth. #citationneeded

I'm not saying @feliciaday sandbagged every other game of Resistance so she could get @wilw's trust&beat him at it on Table Top ...

"Hold on to your pubes, bitches -- It's gonna be @wyldride." - @NikkiGlaser "Wait--Whose pubes am I to hold onto?!?" - @wyldride

Can't wait 4 the finale of #NikkiAndSaraLive. Will @NikkiGlaser B shot? Will @saraschaefer1 be assimilated by the Borg? Watch @mtv&find out.

April Showers bring May Flowers but I'm not sure what kind of shit this is bringing ... http://t.co/M2PIzQFqff

"Late Night with @iliza Shlesinger" has a certain ring to it. Someone get on that, will you?

Starting to see ads for Inside @amyschumer airing in Canada on The Comedy Network. Can't wait. Also, see her on @jimmyfallon tonight.

Nothing like random huge ass bugs showing up in your house. This one wanted to take a bath. A fly swatter bath. http://t.co/Y0hA7aZmmE

Happy Tartan Day @cheezitslut http://t.co/mU7Y20GI2h

"I cazn't believes you sez dat?!?" RT @cheezitslut "You're my favorite." http://t.co/zfv4UTaccO

I liked a @YouTube video from @nittwitstv http://t.co/wytqkxMwAj #nitTWITS - Gratitude List

Story on @chelsealately about a guy smuggling drugs in his crotch&his bag. Isn't that pretty much redundant?

Kilted Man Candy #nikkiandsaralive #igotpeepsinmysporranandidontknowwhattodowiththem http://t.co/QMoxNirk2j

April Fool's day is a great opportunity to send out Dick pics. It's all about choosing the right picture of Nixon to do the job.

Hunan Centipede #weirdasianhorrorremake

Happy Easter! http://t.co/YbwNdYytVD

Well, I guess she didn't answer it on the day in question. http://t.co/6tVNK1Cr82

I may be overusing the #citationneeded hashtag. #citationneeded

Today is Good Friday: The day we morn the assassination of the Easter Bunny by Archduke Ferdinand of the Egg Kingdom. #citationneeded

I thought I was the official animal of Scotland. #citationneeded RT @teamunicornftw The Unicorn is the official animal of Scotland.

"I'd only go on Plenty of Fish if I was trying to date a mermaid." #yhtbt

I want a Sleaze Steak http://t.co/8FWUFzto8p

So if Drake isn't keen, I'm assuming Amanda's vagina is just gonna have to commit suicide.

I don't know what kind of falling out Amanda Bynes has had with her vagina, but asking Drake to assassinate it is no kind of solution.

"Geez, calm down, Ozzy -- Don't bite my head off!" - A bat