wyldride

Right before he made Ace Ventura 2 -- But nobody did. RT @imaliwaller "Somebody stop me!" -Jim Carrey

In France it's a prescription -- With cheese. RT @JennKirwin gave me a prescription for a Happy Meal

Yes, but I'm sure it's a co-incidence. RT @morgan_murphy you're dead to me

What? No denim shirt or denim hat? Amateur. #mimblymademedoit RT @MaryPattersonB denim jacket paired w/denim pants http://t.co/fZjNI1wz

Then there's the cover by HIM: http://t.co/IX5cICrn RT @AmberLily Wicked Game - Washed Out

Can't wait for taken 3: this time is takeneringer RT @MeganNeuringer taken 2: now with 50% more takening!

Wait -- Where are you inserting the clever hash tag? RT @TheDaniStew #insertcleverhastaghere

They sell those in stores now. Some stores have coat in the name RT @iliza My losing my only coat in NY is gonna suck when I go to KC on wed

It's just like napping around. Or it would be if that was a thing. RT @NikkiGlaser I found my hell and it is mattress shopping.

I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/4VqKPgcT The Nick and Artie Show - Nikki Glaser (Part #1) - In The Studio

I'll secure the windows. Done. OK, ready. RT @laylakayleigh Here comes bad me

Go as Zooey dressed as Katy Perry. Or vice versa. It doesn't matter. RT @katetowne For Halloween I'm going to go as Zooey Deschanel.

You should at least carry a snake to make up for it: http://t.co/kn7Y0XXG RT @AmberTozer you disappoint everyone by not being a real snake

You eat whatever Tammy eats? RT @WendyLiebman Pescatarian?

Just so long as no more are made, that's just as good an excuse as any other. RT @ActionChick At this point in his life, is it too late?

"How come my iPhone 5 pictures R purple?" "We improved the camera. It's clearer" "But it's the wrong colour" "But clearly the wrong colour"

Recursive acronym: You only You only YOYO once once, and so on. RT @NikkiGlaser YOYO (you only yoyo once, bc it's boring/ kinda hard)

Use origami to fold it into an ice cream sandwich? RT @NikkiGlaser Do what you want with that information!

I can't believe we have to wait until November for the results show.

House painters? RT @aots Who needs paint when you've got light?

Oh that Seuss&his nerds, no 1 would say. http://t.co/qeNM0E5Z RT @Rileah Of course it was! RT @UberFacts “nerd” was invented by Dr. Suess.

I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/FwKgSjOj Iliza Kisses Blanche

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! RT @xplay Star Wars and Angry Birds might be teaming up. What do you think of the combo?

You'd think there's be a word for that role. RT @NikkiGlaser Every new Muse song is about Kate Hudson

Happy Global Circumference Underestimation Day