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klemjohansen

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Everything posted by klemjohansen

  1. klemjohansen

    Episode 73 — Congo

    The dialogue sounds like they had a b-movie screenwriter punch it up just before production and the producer didn't let anyone proof it before shooting. Joe Don Baker (our first Steven Segal) looks at the script for a moment then sneers at the director, " 'I'll be human later?' I'm actually supposed to say this shit?"
  2. klemjohansen

    Episode 73 — Congo

    Ernie Hudson is suave as hell in this movie.
  3. klemjohansen

    Bob Odenkirk

    I will not and do not accept Bob's notion that Let's Go to Prison is anything but great.
  4. If you waste one moment of your life trying to understand it, then he wins. Don't let him win.
  5. Even after all these months, I still hate that smug videogame kid so, so, so much.
  6. klemjohansen

    Episode 147 — Zouks, There It Is!

    FYI: Little Brother Industries offers a teenage diary service. A new teenager's diary every month. Guaranteed genuine- freshly stolen diaries. Most of them still have the broken locks hanging off. It's a little hit or miss. Some months it's all trigonometry homework complaints, but every once in a while you get a gem.
  7. klemjohansen

    Episode 245 — Poehler Ice Caps

    Paul's off camera laughs are so genuine and wonderful.
  8. klemjohansen

    Episode 245 — Poehler Ice Caps

    From Paul's amazing jacket, I take it that he recently vacationed in the village of Portmeirion. Congratulations on finding your way back, Paul.
  9. Just to fuck with people I sometimes mention that my parents were survivors of Jamestown. John Smith made them drink grape kool-aid. They're also nearly 360 years old.
  10. klemjohansen

    Episode 190 — It's A Hit!

    There are so many amazing moments on Quickdraw that seem to work well because actors are listening to each other intently. Honey has a subtle double-take in episode 1 that still makes me laugh. Also - the issue of where the dad stands is a very big deal. There are "North" dads and "South" dads. For our first, I was a timid North dad and stayed up with my wife and encouraged her to mangle my hand and scream at me. Second time around, I was a southerner and ended up seeing my son's skull plates come together. Yowsa. At that point, we had a girl. My wife and I wanted a boy for a salt & pepper matched set. As soon as she was done pushing, I said "It's a boy!" and without a moment's pause she exhaled the following words in one breath: "Oh, thank God. We're done" then collapsed in a heap. She's a very funny lady, and this was the funniest thing she's ever said.
  11. klemjohansen

    Episode 122 — Religious Science

    Fun fact: the colloquialism "babymoon" relates to the 19th century misapprehension that children's physiology is ideally suited for traveling to and living in outer space via canon. So, a "babymoon" is when you take a sabbatical from work to spend your afternoons building adorably tiny rockets in order to send an infant to the moon. You have to stop him. Not because it's dangerous- but because a baby on the moon would ruin everything.
  12. klemjohansen

    Episode 243 — Blow Me Up, Tom!

    How do you solve a problem like Maria? You don't because she's amazing.
  13. klemjohansen

    Episode 53 — Best Of Year One

    A delightful highlight reel of a year well wasted.
  14. klemjohansen

    Episode 242 — Veggie Dongs

    1,100,242 is also known as the Fibonoche sequence, which is a lot like a Fibonacci sequence but it's late at night and you fuck it up a lot. Also: Kasey Kasem is not quite dead. He DJ's at Frabric on Tuesdays. Because he wears a big-ass light up helmet, most people don't know it's him so they think he's dead. Further also: everybody knows that Jacques Cousteau is another version of the "in bed" game for fortune cookies - - "Your thirst for adventure and curiosity will be of great benefit- and also the whales.""Obsession is a mind with nothing better to do. And also the whales.""Your love of food will lead to obesity and cause people to compare your size to that of houses. And also the whales."
  15. klemjohansen

    Episode 143 — Normies

    Kumail is a castafarian.
  16. klemjohansen

    Episode 51 — REWIND THIS!

    My parents owned that JVC HR 7100 with the weird Playskool buttons. It was durable as hell. In fact, A decade or so after we bought the thing, I borrowed it and then it was stolen out of the trunk of my car right in front of their house on the evening of some holiday like Christmas or Thanksgiving.
  17. If you saw Superchunk, did Philly Boy Roy make an appearance?
  18. klemjohansen

    Episode 69 — Crocodile Dundee In Los Angeles

    I was a little surprised that Paul didn't bring up any possible connections between Matt Berry's love of fantasy football and Paul's FX show.
  19. klemjohansen

    Episode 69 — Crocodile Dundee In Los Angeles

    Radio, Lightning Jack, Daddy Day Camp, and Snow Dogs, too. You could do a month of Cuba Gooding, Jr. movies. For a while there, Cuba just could not say no. It seemed like Cuba Gooding, Jr. was this generation's Michael Caine. He may have turned it around, though. He's in The Butler, which looks like it could be really good.
  20. klemjohansen

    Episode 140.5 — 08/9/13 TWO CHARTED 79

    Howard as Mr. Summah Armen as Mr. Wintah Only Kulap can maintain order.
  21. klemjohansen

    Episode 4 — The Knowledge Zone

    I always pick up great new turns of phrase from TJ. Today's discovery was "I trip not." Also, to talk slowly and softly when I want people to take me seriously.
  22. klemjohansen

    Episode 68.5 — Minisode 68.5

    He plays in the street with a loaded handgun. How did you know? It teaches him a valuable lesson about civil engineering about defending himself against the fascist gubmint. 2nd Amendment because freedom! Actually, I have engaged in a very careful cultural curriculum for my kids. The Dundee thing was decidedly off-book. My 11yo son is steeped in classic comedy: Abbot/Costello, certain Mel Brooks films, and selected (non-dirty) Kids In the Hall. I have no idea what his reading scores are, but he Monty Python's at a high school level.
  23. klemjohansen

    Jon Lovitz #178

    I met William Shatner about 2 decades ago. He was in my podunk town to do some ADR for the Star Trek movie with both old & new casts. He was very nice, but it was very awkward. Everyone gathered outside the booth like a bunch of stalkers, employees, spouses, and a couple of other local voice guys. He looks up and says as only he can "what.... did you sell tickets to this thing?"
  24. klemjohansen

    Episode 68.5 — Minisode 68.5

    Dundee LA is my son's favorite movie of all time for some reason.
  25. klemjohansen

    Episode 46 — WAIT, WHUUUT?

    Serrated Edge was one of my favorite Dead Milkmen songs. When I was in my teens, it was probably my favorite song of all time.
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