klemjohansen
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Content count
448 -
Joined
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Last visited
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Days Won
2
Status Updates posted by klemjohansen
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I think you're buying the wrong things. RT @perlapell The buzz you get from having things doesn't ever last bc things don't love you back.
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Happy New Year, Twitter. Oh, and by the way let me plug my crappy movie/album/standup gig #supersincere
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Tagg says Romney didn't want to be POTUS. That's OK, we didn't want him to be POTUS, either.
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An analogy: "We will vote tonight to pass plan B" is to #fiscalcliff negotiations as "hey, y'all, watch this!" is to home movies.
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Did I just blow your mind? That depends. Is your mind a dandelion? An opportunity? #hashtag
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I wonder if Tom Petty ever acts spiteful in a trivial way. How would people describe it without sounding awkward?
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"That's great. It starts with an earthquake. Birds, snakes and airplanes." - Dec. 21, 2012
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Teachers packing heat? Let's see Rick Perry spend 1 day in a school like that. Time to put your stupid where your mouth is.
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The word for 2012 is "egosystem" n. a social network that offers an exaggerated impression of one's relevance (e.g. Twitter)
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Spokesman now says the @nra will finally comment when the nation's "days since a horrific mass shooting" calendar gets really high- 30 maybe
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Some say the church is out of touch (e.g. treating gay folks & women like dirt). But hey, the Pope is live-tweeting Sister Act II right now!
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Am I nuts or is Julie Hagerdy aging exceedingly well? I know those aren't mutually exclusive but you get the idea.
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Fun fact: 98% of the time when someone cites a statistic with "98%" in it, they're making it up.
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I'm not mad about Psy hating on Americans. I'm more angry about the weird face paint- fairly sure that's racist against gold people.
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hour 2 of the Cortez the Killer guitar solo from Rust Never Sleeps. I hope it never ends
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Eagleton, I am shaking my fist at you as hard as I can and making my angry face. Can you feel it? #ParksandRec
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I just learned that Dr. Detroit doesn't have an actual doctorate, just an honorary one. I feel really let down now.
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Fox just said that California's schools are "on the bottom" in national rankings but they're in the middle of the pack. Fact check much?
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Tycho Brahe, history's most baller astronomer, is on today's Google News trending list. This is what hard work & a metal nose can do, kids
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Here's a tip. If you're making a lampshade from human skin- don't let the nipples show. #ahs