klemjohansen
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Content count
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Posts posted by klemjohansen
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Also, Mark McGrath was excited about jumping through the 42 because he's a huge fan of Douglas Adams. However, "Sugar Ray" is not a known h2g2 reference.
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Batman and Groban
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Nic Cage as an imaginary childhood friend would be incredible. "We're going to steal the Jefferson Memorial!" "No, Nic Cage. You're going to get me in trouble AGAIN!" "You don't understand. Everything is riding on this! We must get to the core of the sun in the next 15 minutes or everyone is doomed!"
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Brian "Sour Puss" Eno is slated to produce Weird Al's next post-contract album.
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The centerpiece will be a six minute ambient polka odyssey about how he feels nothing.
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Seriously, Mr. Yankovic needs to write lyrics for "Music for Airports."
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U Talkin' Weird Al 2 Me?
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I'm so chill, let's have a competition to decide who's more chill. I'll totally win because I'm so chill.
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Back when Perfect Strangers was a hit show and Yakov Smirnov was headlining, I remember an angry guy I know grumbling, "they come to this country and they steal our catchphrases!" Don't be ridiculous whata country!?
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The "Boys" Mr. Scotterman was shouting to are actually Heavy D's former posse. They still wear the colorful raincoats from the "Now That We've Found Love" video and tend to cry a lot. Scott gives them errands to run to distract them from their grief.
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Q: Why did the dieting cannibal eat Harry Reid and John Boehner?
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A: Because all politics is low cal.
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"The Wolves Are Coming" sounds like the porn version of Frozen.
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Shut up, kids! Daddy needs to concentrate!
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This just occurred to me: If comedy=tragedy+time, then by the transitive property time=comedy-tragedy therefore rotational terminal velocity= 2Οr/(comedy-tragedy)
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I watch each episode of Playing House twice to atone for having missed most of BFF.
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Who is Oliver Podcast?
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That's a line from an Ayn Rand book about podcasting. Just before she died, she predicted the invention of the iPod and that all the world's super-rich, super-capable people would run away to an island and start podcasts. Mr. Olliver Podcast is the Marc Maron of objectivism.
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Writing a book as therapy isn't always a good idea. After writing two I got super depressed because I'd written two books (and nobody wanted to read either one). I couldn't even goad my wife into reading the second one because the first one was so silly.
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If Arman had a sit-com there would be whole episodes about a to-do list with one thing on it (1. pick up the dry cleaning) and the other 20 minutes details how and why he can't get that done. Then he runs into Matt, his reluctant surrogate father, who works very hard not to tell Arman how disappointed he is in Arman's inability to pick up the dry cleaning. "I'll try harder tomorrow. Well, I'll try harder to try harder if you know... uh."
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I'll be called "I'm a mess!"
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Psychiatrist: Tell me about what is troubling you.
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Patient: Well, it's my mother, doc. My whole childhood she was withholding.
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Psychiatrist: I see. She must be really good at riddles, then.
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Also, holy shit I used to watch Sven Ghouli every saturday for Creature Feature on WFLD (I think).
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Joe Jackson is one of my all time favorites. Fuck "steppin' out," though. Listen to Big World 50 times in a row then come talk to me, son.
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On my gravestone it will say "Ziiiip! It's me! I was lying the whole time!"
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A U2-related news item from 2025:
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As is usually the case with U2 records, the final push to finish Juggernaut required the aging band members to spend twelve to eighteen hours a day in the recording studio fine-tuning performances and mixes. The resulting strain left the band's guitarist with a greatly diminished immune system, after which he fell into a pneumonia-related coma for several months. However, due to his loyalty to the band as well as several unbreakable contractual obligations, he continued to tour with the group, strapped to a gurney and identified onstage as "The Vedge."
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This is no way to talk if you're angling for T-shirts, guys.
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This episode nearly made a reference to noted adventure author Cliff Hanger (pronounced Hang-yay because he's French). His books are the kind you can't put down- and I don't mean that hyperbolically. Remember in Crank (and Crank 2) how Jason Statham kept having to get charged up or he'd die? Well, Hanger's books are printed with a special skin-absorptive poison on the odd numbered pages and an antidote on the even numbered ones. If you stop reading at chapter-ending moment of peril you could very well die. Only when you finish the book and wash your hands thoroughly are you assured of survival.
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Slanted and Scott-Chanted: Talkin' Pavement
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Are You Talking About The Passion To Me?
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Bonus Tom Petty podcast: Scott Dragging My Heart Around
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Episode 303 β Puttering Around
in Comedy Bang Bang
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I'm very glad they were so fastidious about closing their verbal parentheses on this episode. People think it's a joke, but if they don't close them the pod might not parse properly on your mp3 player. You would hear up to the first open paren, then it would skip to the next closed paren. This is almost as bad as the Who Charted episode with all the verbal curly brackets.