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Professor Procrastination

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About Professor Procrastination

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  • Birthday 03/31/1978

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  • Location
    Canada's nutsack (AKA Minnesota)
  • Favorite Earwolf Podcast
    Professional procrastinator by day, pop-culture enthusiast by night, a full-time participant of human life, and the World's Most Average Dad every single second of every day.
  1. Professor Procrastination

    Joe's Apartment (1996)

    Hey, with the news that Marvel's Ant-Man movie has been cast, why not cover a movie about bugs? It's the first film from MTV Films and it's based on shorts that were aired in between commercials as filler. Jerry O'Connell stars in the musical comedy about cockroaches and their song about a funky towel. I'm talking about the bad movie, Joe's Apartment! Wouldn't it be great to hear June, Paul, and Jason discuss this movie with someone like Paul Rudd or Edgar Wright (both attached to Marvel's Ant-Man project)?
  2. Professor Procrastination

    Bad Halloween Movies!

    I have to say the Blair Witch Project...just because it created the found footage genre that I can't stand. However, I did enjoy the softcore porn edition of it...the Bare Wench Project.
  3. Professor Procrastination

    Episode 41 — Spider-Man 3

    I do not recommend watching Spider-Man 3 after Spider-Man 2 AT ALL! Honestly, if you've ever seen Spider-Man 3, don't go back and watch the first two...it will just piss you off. Spider-Man 3 takes the 2 movie-long narrative of Harry and Peter's relationship and proceeds to shit all over it. Forget Topher Grace ruining Venom, forget about Mary Jane's inability to project her voice, and forget about the symbiote's choice in hair styles and 1950s role models. The first two movies set up a narrative to have an epic conclusion between Harry and Peter in the third act of the trilogy...it doesn't happen, instead we get amnesia and dancing.
  4. Professor Procrastination

    Episode 40.5 — Minisode 40.5

    I won't look it up because I'm lazy. But I'll trust you and say great award name!
  5. Professor Procrastination

    Episode 40.5 — Minisode 40.5

    Spider-Man 3! This is the best summer of podcasting thanks to HDTGM. Thank you for choosing Spider-Man 3. Recently, before watching the Amazing Spider-Man reboot, I watched Spider-Man 1 & 2. Spider-Man 2 has always been my favorite of the franchise, but after re-watching it, I discovered that Spider-Man 3 really made me dislike a good portion of #2. The second is the middle of a larger story like Empire Strikes Back, but instead of following the logical thread of Peter and Harry (i.e. Luke and Vader), Spider-Man 3 adds two badly portrayed villains and re-writes the premise for the original movie in the trilogy and turns Harry into a ridiculous character. Spider-Man 2 laid the groundwork for an epic finale but Spider-Man 3 didn't follow through. Based on this observation, Spider-man 3 deserves to create its own special category for the awards show. A bad movie that made a good movie look worse.
  6. Professor Procrastination

    Episode 39 — Godzilla

    Thank you for covering this movie. You've given me closure on this chapter of my life. I was one of those fans who was so excited to see an American blockbuster version of Godzilla, and I ended up leaving the theater angry and confused (he's pregnant? how big is the he/she lizard? Where is he/she hiding? Why is that man named Animal? Do Kodak pop-machine's really exist?). I've had this pent-up rage since 1998 and finally, your humorous podcast can help me put this section of my movie watching history to rest. Also, the reason Broderick looks so old is that he had to hide out on Broadway for so long after making this film. It's impossible to stay young while singing showtunes with Nathan Lane. I've loved the Speed 2 and Godzilla podcasts....keep up the great work!
  7. Professor Procrastination

    Batman & Robin

    I'd like to see this. Arnold's ice man puns could keep the podcast going for hours.
  8. Professor Procrastination

    The Spirit (2008)

    I'm really hoping that this movie gets covered. I saw it in the theater and had no expectations for it. It met my lack of expectations and dove me down into an abyss of confusion. I will never watch it a second time and still have no clue what was so wrong about it...other than everything.
  9. Professor Procrastination

    Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull (2008)

    A horrible movie, but Lando said it best.
  10. Professor Procrastination

    Howard the Duck

    I watched this as a kid and loved it! I don't know what was wrong with me because I've tried to watch it as an adult and wondered what the heck did I like about it. It's absolutely terrible. And so much cheesiness that you can't help to smile. I believe this movie is the perfect description for a bad movie and you know that because it's in your description. That is why you should cover it.
  11. Professor Procrastination

    Super Mario Bros.

    I'm glad to see this thread because I wondered how this movie hasn't been covered yet. I can't add anything to the discussion because Sillstaw nailed it with:
  12. Professor Procrastination

    Spiderman 3

    This is one of my candidates for worst movie ever made because I've read Spiderman comics since I knew how to read. But, it isn't universally a bad movie like Old Dogs or Battlefield Earth or Skyline. I'd like to see them tear it apart, but honestly its only REALLY bad to fans of the comic.
  13. Professor Procrastination

    One for the Money (2012)

    My wife took me to this at the theater. She got a groupon deal for tickets. I attempted to sleep, but it was so terrible that it sucked me in. I hated Katherine Heigl movies before this, and now I hate Katherine Heigl and groupon.
  14. Professor Procrastination

    Bad Summer Movies!

    Of movies unmentioned, I say Howard the Duck...I have no idea how that movie was made. Also, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was pretty bad, but a lot these movies already mentioned are way worse! So, I have to agree with others about Super Mario Bros, Van Helsing, Batman & Robin, Masters of the Universe, Judge Dredd, and Godzilla (1998). Of those, chose Godzilla...Ferris Bueller and the Professional chasing down a giant lizard through Manhattan that changes in size as much as Ang Lee's Hulk. The lizard looks nothing like the classic monster and turns up being a pissed off pregnant mother. They took the word Pregzilla and turned it into a movie. But, the studio makes a reptilian monster movie with a horrible plot and terrible special effects and decides if they slap on a franchise worthy title, all is forgiven. Well, not for me. not for me.