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BrettMorris

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Posts posted by BrettMorris

  5. Posted

    Welcome to Mel 'Socks' Kiper's 2016 Dream Writer's Room Draft Grades!

     

    The excitement of the draft has come and gone, but now it's time to assign completely-informed, legally-binding and totally arbitrary grades to each person's draft class.

     

    Pat Walsh: D-

    Pat's draft philosophy showed little logic and even worse execution. It's not that Kevin Smith was a bad first-rounder (though he doesn't have the sparkle of a typical #1 overall pick). It's that the next two choices (Woody Allen and Quentin Tarantino) were entirely redundant: old white dudes who write stuff. Pat seemed to care less about assembling a functioning team and more about surrounding himself with his twisted version of eye candy. This draft class is less "2 Broke Girls" and more "3 Useless Draft Picks."

     

    Kevin Etten: B+

    Count the Teck Money pick as good fortune. He was the #1 player on my draft board and was somehow available at 2 thanks to some draft-day overthinking. Kevin gets credit for diversity, snagging Laura CK (#4 on my Big Board) all the way down at 10. Dom Dierkes is a bit of a risk, though, as it appears Sean may veto the selection - that bumps Etten down from an A into solid "B" range.

     

    Hayes Davenport: A

    The Hayesman brought a lot of color and unpredictability to the lineup with the selections of baseball Hall of Famer Wade Boggs and '90s film star Cousin Vinny. Sure, there's some risk to both picks, but as Boggs could tell you, you don't hit homeruns without occasionally swinging for the fences. It's also noteworthy that Hayes didn't choose his on-again, off-again coworker Tom Scharpling, who was publicly campaigning all month to be drafted by Hayes.

     

    Sean Clements: A-

    Sean gets tons of credit for thinking outside the box to get Pizzazz, who I rated as the top musical coordinator in the draft and one of my top 5 sleeper picks. Kelly Oxford is great value at 5 and fits roster needs to a "T." Sean earns points for diversity, but then loses those points for single-handedly filling the staff's entire quota of women with his first two picks. It's also questionable that Sean passed up Kevin Chopsner, as the one thing this roster still sorely needs is chops, preferably for days.

     

    Brett Morris: A++

    The shocking star of the draft is Engineer Brett, who only had one pick, and that being #11, the very last selection. But 'Mr. Irrelevant' is actually quite relevant this time around. Brett shredded his pick like a Hendrix guitar solo, taking a bonobo, which fills the roster's animal quota and serves as some great native advertising for bonobos.com. It's said that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter for an infinite amount of time will inevitably produce the complete works of William Shakespeare. Well Engineer Brett is now just a typewriter and an infinite amount of time away from having his very own modern bard on staff. The best part? The bonobo is on an extremely team-friendly contract, essentially working for peanuts.

    I actually thought of nearly all of those connections in my head at the time and couldn't articulate even one

    • Like 22

  23. Posted

    I listened to the commentary album today - a really fun listen, and it gave me an even deeper appreciation for everything Stard brings to the Summah table.

     

    One question I had that was not answered was about the on-mic quick inhales on the verses of "Summah Shrine". Is there any significance to that, or story behind it?

    it was something he started doing in ads occasionally a little while back that was just super funny. just sorta faux-professional or dramatic or something. the joke came back during the sessions somehow and we just went with it.

    • Like 2
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