RyanSz

That's where I stopped.

The one thing I really noticed before turning this piece of shit off was that they really tried to overdue the dance numbers with too many dancers. In the opening scene there are numerous cases where there are people who are either not in sync with everyone else, bad dancers, or doing a completely different routine. Grease 1 kept the dance numbers fairly small except for the final dance number, but this one seems to think bigger is better which just isn't the case because there are too many moving parts.

20 minutes in and I'm tapping out, this movie is utter shit and I can't believe that it's almost two hours long.

My anger almost came to a head when I was taking my cat to the vet for annual shots and this fucking asshole walks in with a beautiful golden retriever. He tells the clerk that he is coming in to have the dog put down and I start looking at the dog from where I'm standing to see what's wrong, and can't see anything. The clerk asks why and the dude actually says "well he jumps on the kids and has ruined some furniture and can't take instruction." The clerk looked at him dead eyed while I'm trying my best not to punch this cunt (a word that describes this man to a tee) of a person in the face for being so devoid of a soul, especially since I had recently had to put my cat of eleven years down because his kidneys had failed him and he was slowly dying a painful death. The clerk just looks at him and says he needs to leave because they don't kill animals at that vet, only euthanize animals near death, and that he needs to go to the shelter to put the dog up for adoption. The guy looked at her incredulously like she was insane and then just stormed out. I honestly would have taken the dog off of his hands if I would have been able to care for the dog in my current living situation, but I just had to hope that the piece of shit did one right thing by the dog and took it to a shelter.

Those would be real tough to poke fun at as they are such hard, dark subject matters. I would say the show go for attempted Oscar bait i.e. movies that were clearly trying to get someone nominated but ended up failing miserably like Jobs or The Walk.

But if he's the Invisible Man how am I going to know how many rings and bracelets he's wearing, or if he's wearing too much eye liner?

It was a lot of "okay so he got bit by a radioactive spider while on a field trip," and "that is a bad guy who gets covered by the alien goo and turned into a super villain." It was beyond irritating but I'm not so much of an asshole to tell a nurse and her ward to shut up because then I'm the real villain to everyone else.

And I am fine with that. No bullshit, I was watching Spider-Man 3 in theaters and the two people sitting in front of me was a elderly man from either a nursing home or he had in-home care as the other person was his nurse/helper. She spent the entire movie explaining the history of Spider-Man to him in the context of what was happening in the movie. I would have been more pissed if the movie had actually been any good.

Them and every couple I see on Maury.

Yeah I'll recline it just far enough that my feet are up and not blocking the walkway but not so far that I'm laying back at a 30 degree angle.

The theater near me started assigned seats this last year and that happened about the third time is when that happened. Seeing The Accountant when this older couple comes in and it was basically like watching a couple play Pictionary and have their entire relationship unravel before your eyes. They get to where their seats are but there is someone sitting in them, and the guy loses it on his wife. She's telling him "let's just find another seat honey" and he's going "no we paid for that fucking seat and it's because you had to have popcorn that we're late and someone took our seat!" And they aren't being quiet about it, the whole time you can feel the rest of audience get uncomfortable in that Bill Burr way of thinking to ourselves "settle that, make it go away!" Finally the guy approaches the guys in their seats and shows them the tickets and they apologize and move to their seats, this of course after someone yelled "shut the fuck up" to the old guy. My only real problem with those seats though is that they recline so far that I feel I'm always in danger of falling asleep during the movie.

I have a friend who is attached to her phone and was terrible with using it during the movie, usually to text her then boyfriend who was sitting next to her. I'm not kidding. I would rail on her every time and she'd just come off as if it wasn't a big deal, and that might have been the case if we were in the back of the theater and it was only me seeing the backlight, but we were near the front of the upper section of our theater and I finally lost it when it was just me and her, leaned in close to her and whispered, "if you don't turn off that fucking phone I'm leaving you here." She begrudgingly turned it off and has thankfully not done it since, at least around me. I've said in this forum before that I consider film my religion and the theater my church because of the experience it offers. So I've decided to come up with the Eight Commandments of being in a movie theater: I. Turn your phone off/silent as soon as the previews start II. Don't talk during the movie, but if you absolutely have to, whisper in a six inch voice. III. If you show up after the previews start, do not inconvenience someone else by asking them to move down a seat so you can sit with friends. Respect that they made it to the theater on time. IV. Do not hold an entire row of seats unless you set it up with the theater, you get to hold a max of two for your friends. V. If there is a lot of space in the theater, do not sit directly next to another person, each person should have a one seat buffer zone on every side. VI. If your kid starts crying during the movie, take them out of the damn theater. VII. Do not talk to the characters on the screen, they cannot fucking hear you. VIII. Don't go into a theater to look for your friends, it just ruins the experience for everyone else.

Wow people are going to be surprised by Nocturnal Animals if they go by just the tv promos. The promo showed the movie as a revenge flick rather than what it really is which is a story within a story about a former couple and their relationship and how it relates to the man's book that he's written. That might be one of the biggest con jobs for a movie promo I've seen in years.

Yes that is Guillermo Del Toro and Mads Mikkelson in a game starring Norman Reedus done by the insane creator of Metal Gear Solid.

While not a movie, there were a couple games that had trailers released that I am totally amped for and they offer so much in regards to emotion or WTFness that I felt I should share. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCmsgUTNLY0

For me it's still Charles Dance who completely owns that movie, after seeing it I want a solo Benedict movie made. What's great about that scene is you can see a person walking in the hallway across the street to see what's going on as Dance shoots the guy, and then basically proving the point of the scene, walks away. The movie reminds me in a way of the comic series Fables, just replacing action movies with fairy tales in that their original world is bright and shiny while being totally implausible at times, when in our world it's dark and dirty and the normal tropes of their world may not work in ours.

Aw I liked Cat's Eye and thought it was actually a pretty good adaptation of two of King's stories despite the massive amount of coincidence needed for the through story to work. I have really grown to love Last Action Hero but I can look and see how it would be great for the show with how crazy it is.

They had a short separation and then went on that couple's therapy show with Dr. Drew I think but they never got divorced as far as I can remember.

You joke but there was a really good horror book set in an IKEA like store called Horrorstor by Grady Hendrix who has quite a few good books like this one and Satan Loves You. The book has kind of a Lovecraftian feel to it and is well done for a first time author.

The Lobster was an interesting look at relationships and how people view what works and doesn't but I felt the ending felt a little too sudden for me. I also wanted to know what the animal that no one wanted to be was. As for Swiss Army Man it was one of those movies that there is a sense of magical realism with the idea of maybe he's just crazy. Then it gets thrown out the window near the end with the little girl who comes across Radcliffe and Dano and how she interacts with them. Again thought it was a good movie in a "one time viewing" kind of thing but I was kinda ashamed that there weren't Youtube copycats trying to copy using a buddy as a boat powered by farts as a boat. I loved Stewart in Green Room because it was such a diverge from what he has been doing and I laugh a bit during his speech to the skinheads about coming to the workshop on Saturday but to check the schedule the day before to see if it's still happening. With his tone I was just waiting for him to add "and Sally will be bringing cookies but if you want juice you will have to bring your own."

The Lobster's Ending = At least that's how I saw it. As for Swiss Army Man I saw that in theaters and the crowd was literally stunned into silence by what we all just saw. I thought it was good in a weird way but was really hoping for a Jacob's Ladder scenario in concern to the beginning where he's stranded on the island. I loved Green Room as it was a very realistic take on a standoff scenario between a band of skinny punk rockers and hardcore skinheads where there isn't any real deus ex machina that's going to save the good guys and no one is safe from the danger that they are in except for themselves. If you want further movies to watch, the director of Green Room Jeremy Saulnier also made Blue Ruin which is a modern revenge crime movie and Murder Party which is a low budget slasher comedy but still really good.

Bump because this needs to be done.

To be fair Gilligan finally did get off the island, as a group of Make a Wish kids wished to save Gilligan from the island after decades of being stuck there. Bob Denver went to a small island off the coast of West Virginia and the kids sailed there in a boat renamed to the Minnow to rescue him. What isn't mentioned is the high probability that Gilligan killed and ate the other castaways leaving him to be the last man standing. http://www.cracked.com/article_19389_the-8-most-badass-make-a-wish-foundation-wishes.html https://news.google.com/newspapers?id=mo5DAAAAIBAJ&sjid=pqkMAAAAIBAJ&pg=5734,518872&dq=gilligan+make+a+wish&hl=en Also I'm watching the Lawnmower Man sequel right now and it has to be done on the show. From bad rollerblading to atrocious CGI, this movie basically checks off every point of Paul's "what makes a bad movie" list.

Yeah the owners of the UFC at the time thought being in a movie starring a big name like Denzel would do wonders for their mainstream appeal, but they had no control with how they were portrayed in the movie, which led to a scene where fans are brawling in the crowd or walking around topless in an arena that looks more fitting for No Holds Barred, and in the Octagon are four fighters brawling with each other, which is odd as one of them is Ken Shamrock who never thought it might be good to let the people setting up the scene know that fights aren't done that way. In the end it came off as incredibly barbaric and some lawmakers used it as proof that the sport wasn't worth having in their state for the time being. The only other huge bad publicity for a sport promotion that I can recall was the laughably bad WCW wrestling movie Ready to Rumble starring David Arquette, and to help promote the movie, they made Arquette the honest to go World Heavyweight Champion, a reign that still remains in the record books by the WWE so it is not a fluke stunt.

Let's not forget that it almost single handedly destroyed the UFC at that time as critics of the promotion used the scene where Crowe goes to a UFC event that looks like a scene from Thunderdome, as proof as to why the sport shouldn't be licensed in various states.