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RyanSz

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Everything posted by RyanSz

  1. The final film of Sean Connery's career is also Scotland's first ever fully CGI film. Connery stars as a skateboarding veterinarian who tries to save the last beaver in Scotland. If that sentence isn't enough to give this movie an episode, maybe the trailer will help. The bulk of the movie is also on youtube.
  2. RyanSz

    HDTGM movies and their RT scores

    I believe number 6 was the one announced before it came out or the week it came out. There was a gap from when 7 came out and then the episode for 8 was close to after it came out.
  3. RyanSz

    The Meg (2018)

    Good thing I'm seeing it this weekend then, might go for DBox as well.
  4. RyanSz

    The Snowman (2017)

    If they do this, it really needs to be paired with Jim Carrey's Dark Crimes, as they are two of the worst "crime thrillers" every made. Thankfully a Wikipedia summary has been created for this movie, so if you want to just read that to avoid this shitshow, you can.
  5. RyanSz

    Mission: Impossible 2 (2000)

    Best thing to come out of MI: 2. Also, what's interesting is that Cruise's romantic relationships are a big focal point of the newest film in the series, but there is zero mention of the one he has with Thandie Newton from this film, like they are actively trying to erase it from everyone's memories. It's interesting to note that Anthony Hopkins was uncredited for this film, but was a major part of every bit of promotional material, basically negating any surprise factor of having him in it.
  6. RyanSz

    Mother! (2017)

    Also, the fact that in all of the promotional interviews the cast and director were going on about how this was such a mind-blowing, you won't see coming message and how there were all these hints, which would seem interesting if it were like Noah that did have some interesting elements and twists, but everything can be sussed out in seconds if you just pay attention to something as simple as the name. It's like a pothead telling you something that they think no one else has blatantly noticed and then amazed when you aren't as shocked as they are because we've known it all along.
  7. RyanSz

    Mother! (2017)

    I am watching this now and I hate that I had to wade through 90 minutes of boring shit to make it to the utter craziness. It doesn't help that the metaphors/allegories are as subtle as a wrecking ball, but the final act does help make this film a bit easier to swallow. I did tell a friend as I am watching this that if Eve was as bitchy and overbearing as Michelle Pfeiffer was playing her to be, I'd have kicked her out of Eden as quickly as possible.
  8. RyanSz

    Episode 194 - Yes, Giorgio: LIVE!

    This movie aggravated me in ways I just can't explain, and I do enjoy listening to the more notable songs of classical music, but I now wish I watched the edited version because it was just unnecessary for the most part. I was surprised that there was no turn for the main relationship in anyway, like the wife finding out about the affair, or the doctor getting into a relationship of her own and ends up making Pavoratti jealous and in turn want her more. It was just like "they're gonna fuck for a bit and then he's heading back to his mansion and his family." It honestly reminded me of the ending of The Terminal with Tom Hanks and Catherine Zeta-Jones in that the whole movie is sort of building this relationship between an immigrant stuck in the airport due to no fault of his own and this flight attendant who is the mistress of a government official, we think that they will get together in the end but after all is said and down. While both are what I feel are fairly accurate representations, they really don't make for good movies as it just goes against what the audience is hoping for with the couples.
  9. RyanSz

    Shock 'Em Dead (1991)

    It's on DVD, that's how first watched it.
  10. RyanSz

    On Deadly Ground (1994)

    Yeah this was definitely the straw that broke the camel's back in regards to Seagal's time as an A lister. From there it was a much-maligned sequel to Under Siege, a switcheroo role in Executive Decision where he his named carried any real weight for the last time, Glimmer Man, and then Fire Down Below which was another attempt at him being eco-friendly. Looking at his filmography I honestly thought he had more films before falling down but he only had made five films before this piece of shit, and then from there he only made the three previously mentioned films before becoming an almost exclusive direct-to-video actor outside of Half Past Dead, Exit Wounds, and his cameo in Machete. I mean has there ever been a major actor that has had that kind of 180 in Hollywood? At least by the time the bloom had fallen off JCVD's rose when he directed The Quest, he had starred in over a dozen moderate to big hit films, and then starred in a half dozen more before going direct-to-video.
  11. RyanSz

    Funland (1987)

    Image the craziness of the mall in Chopping Mall, but in an amusement park, add in a crazy clown, the mob, blatant racism and sexism, and you will have this HDTGM-worthy film, Funland. It's no longer available on DVD but has become available on Amazon Prime, by what appears to be a shoddy bootleg being transferred onto the site. The movie concerns a theme park where one of the founders, who now works as the clown mascot of the park, is fired from his job after the mob kills the other co-founder and buys the park. The clown has already suffered a mental breakdown in front of park guests a year prior so the firing only leads to him going off the deep end and getting revenge against those who wronged him. There is also random craziness like KKK members walking around the park for no reason, park workers doing drugs in front of park guests, and a crazy hallucination by the clown where he is talking to Humphrey Bogart and his puppet Petey Pepperoni. This has everything from the clown going everywhere in his pizza costume, including a funeral, to there being a watermelon stand run by black men dressed up as field workers, to laundry list of potential jobs new employees at the park can have from Scum Cleaner to Puke Wrangler, this movie is screaming to be covered by the show.
  12. RyanSz

    Episode 193.5 - Minisode 193.5

    Don't it is not worth it. It's just singing leading to one random scenario to another song. Fuck this movie.
  13. RyanSz

    Episode 193.5 - Minisode 193.5

    Okay I'm 20 minutes in and wondering how the fuck this is going to be stretched out to just under 2 hours long, unless the wikipedia for this movie is missing a lot of crap. This hunk of crap is basically the Moonwalker but instead of pop music being interspersed over a flimsy sci-fi story, it's opera music interspersed over a musician trying to get side poon.
  14. RyanSz

    Spawn (2019)

    This is already shaping up to be The Spirit all over again. Written and directed by the comic's creator Todd McFarlane, and starring Jamie Foxx as the titular character and a miscast Jeremy Renner as Detective Twitch Williams, this doesn't bode well. Not to mention that the character is nowhere near as popular as it was when the first film came out, the only chance this has turning a profit is because it's being produced by Blumhouse so the microbudget should be enough for it to make some money.
  15. RyanSz

    Spawn (2019)

    Whoa now, Liefeld has always been seen as a joke to comic fans, who's biggest character was a blatant ripoff of a DC and only improved upon by competent writers and artists. McFarlane on the other hand was a great artist and writer, though his quality has declined over the years, though I'm sure his directorial skill will leave a lot to be desired. Now cut to next year where this film has earned a billion dollars, 100% RT score, and 10 Oscars.
  16. RyanSz

    Spawn (2019)

    I have a feeling it was due to McFarlane basically not accepting any director they offered up to him to do the reboot, leaving him as the only option. I never had much of an issue with the original outside of how they changed the origin story and dated CGI, but this is already giving me cause for hesitation, especially seeing that McFarlane himself is making changes to the canon, if reports are to be believed, such as changing character names and situations. I think this will end up being a moment of a creator being too far into the forest to see the trees. Jamie Foxx is a pretty good choice for Spawn, so long as he isn't completely chewing up scenery, although after hearing that the actor who recently played Bushmaster in Luke Cage had tried to get the part, I feel that he would have been perfect for the role.
  17. RyanSz

    Spawn (2019)

    Yeah in the comic Twitch is a small, wiry, family man who most people completely underestimate. He uses this as a mechanism to disarm them during investigations and at times even his partner Sam, who is completely dumbfounded when he first meets Twitch's wife who was like a former beauty queen. Twitch is basically Terry/Gerry/Jerry from Parks and Rec but not actually a klutz.Twitch is also a excellent marksman and seen as the most skilled with a rifle and pistol in the entire NYPD, due to high level understanding of mathematics and trigonometry which gave him a prodigy-like understanding of shooting angles and scenarios, which I think is the only reason they cast Renner due to him playing Hawkeye. The only thing I can think that would make this somewhat okay is if they cast either Jim Belushi or John Goodman as Twitch's partner, Sam.
  18. RyanSz

    Episode 192 - Striptease: LIVE!

    I think Anne Geddes did the same thing for all of those terrifying baby photos.
  19. RyanSz

    Episode 192 - Striptease: LIVE!

    Was there another Wendy's finger story? Because I thought it was revealed that in that case it was a setup by the person suing and a friend of theirs who had legitimately chopped off their finger, but in a separate incident, but I could be mistaken.
  20. RyanSz

    Episode 192 - Striptease: LIVE!

    The yogurt thing was the most realistic thing in the entire film, simply for the fact that there are people in the world that are that stupid to think that that plan would work. In the last four years I have personally seen or heard about numerous get rich quick schemes from inmates and they are all at this level of terrible. This includes the number of suits I've seen filed by "sovereign citizens" who if you don't know who they are check out some videos on youtube and see how bonkers they are. So to see Shad thinking he would get a big payout for a stupid roach yogurt plan was the only thing that actually landed for me.
  21. RyanSz

    Episode 192 - Striptease: LIVE!

    Seeing that photo reminds me of something when I saw this movie, it is unsettling to see old Burt Reynolds without facial hair. It worked in his younger years when he was in Deliverance or Longest Yard, but with shock white hair and being oiled up, it just doesn't sit well with me for some unknown reason.
  22. RyanSz

    Trailer Talk

    This movie was actually really good. The action was really fluid and they did just enough explanation of the science to not be too in the woods and mixes in dark humor so that it isn't too dark of a film.
  23. RyanSz

    Episode 192 - Striptease: LIVE!

    Swear to god, my mind's eye was picturing "Until it Sleeps" when reading the title, and the whole time I was thinking to myself "Ginger Lynn wasn't in that video." Then I reread it and felt foolish. Same here, we have at least five on their bookstore shelves, and at least twice that on the regular library shelves at my work. I haven't seen one get checked out in years, but every time I walk past that section there seems that there are more there than there was before. Every time I saw the boss I just imagined this joke from Family Guy. Correction: The Middle Eastern dancer wasn't named Gaza Strip she was called Ariel Sharon, and the DJ is clearly saying in her intro that she was Ms. Gaza Strip, as in she won a beauty pageant in her home country, which she confirms when she is introducing herself to the snake dancer.
  24. RyanSz

    Episode 192 - Striptease: LIVE!

    No but Shy Love had interesting stories about being a CPA and when I had met Olivia O'Lovely she was in the midst of was in the midst of getting a degree in psychology if I remember correctly as she wanted to start her own practice.
  25. RyanSz

    Episode 192 - Striptease: LIVE!

    What's odd is the Tim Allen character in Big Trouble is kind of based on Dave Barry who was a journalist in Miami for many years before becoming a novelist and nonfiction writer. I haven't read his work but what I've heard from my patrons is that his nonfiction work is actually pretty good because he's just making humorous observations on things happening around him rather than trying to create the situation himself.
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