Or
In Batman Hell, here's no eyeliner and you're poor.
Or
"Snails" is actually spelled backwards.
Or
Every time a tweet is made, a penguin gets its wings.
Or
I am the Lord of Battered Bones, the Bringer of the Broken Peace. The Frog Handler of Pasadena.
Or
If you're looking for some kind of...humorous death ray, you've come to the wrong place!
Or
In space, no one can hear you queef.