burnunit

… all these things will be lost…like apostrophes in you’re…time…to die

“Not being English you must excuse me” Not being English? what is that fucking accent then, Drax?? #Moonraker

(PS obviously I’m feeling well enough to leave the house briefly)

Also Fuck You Forever Autocorrect

and really, autocorrect, you’re changing my apostrophe-s to apostrophe-a now? Who writes any word ‘a …EVER ?!?

Before I start job hunting, I’m unsubscribing from tons of bullshit lists. UNSUBSCRIBE ALL THE THINGS

Colbert Report: This Changes Everything - Obama's Martian Gayness http://t.co/hiTKKcY7

CORNDOG ALL THE FACES

Deliberate provocation! Follow up to indicate seriousness. Link to HuffPo for supporting statement. Smug assertion! #cleverhashtag

Father Ted is truly funnier than it has any right to be.

Feral cat is feral http://t.co/8xFBMOZc

Fuckin Walt Mink, am I right you guys?!

God bless Jimmy KimmelWho Won "Last Night's" Debate?: http://t.co/7FoRVK8Q

Haunting microphotography! http://t.co/4Cr3dmMi

Here Facebook, let me fix that text for you. Where it says “Get flashplayer” you can just strike all that and say “close window and leave”

hey billboard, What does a soldier hugging his daughter have to do with your bullshit vote yes on voter ID message?

Hypnotic deviant & sorcerer Duncan Trussell (@duncantrussell) has a recent podcast with his mom that’s simply beautiful, a total must-listen

I could probably watch Buddy Cole’s “Chalet 2000” every day forEVAR

I do not understand people who refuse to use the dividers on the conveyer belt at the grocery store. I’m not buying your juice, stranger.

I don’t understand people’s problem with Captain America. (I don’t understand people. People are jerks.)

I felt really inspired by Bill Nye so I made a video about science education http://t.co/tRerYoxW

I genuinely feel white privilege is a clear & present danger to the evolution of our species http://t.co/zZAs3ceu

I have just been to CVS and purchased a literal crap load of cold medicines. This is my Favorite way to inaugurate a Thursday!

I really wish Biden would just fill the debate with quotes from Lords of Acid songs.

I smile a lot more than i need to