burnunit

Mitt Romney is raking in those Latino votes now I bet!! http://t.co/bj9LRQhE

It’s shallow, but somehow I hate racism more on occasions when teams with racist nicknames win.

Pretty sure MPLS traffic control just ticketed an old lady’s other car for nosing too far into her own house’s handicapped space.

Meat dress meat fascinator meat clutch meat bangles meat knee socks gristle mittens

She’s faster and funnier too. Gotta get her drunk or some shit

You’re welcome, theology. *dusts hands eats soul food and goes back to thinkin about boobies*

Rahner’s Rule should dare to go further. Go all the way: the economic trinity is the immanent trinity is all that is.

This is Van Morrison weather

The slowest. Panera. Ever. You guys I wrote and shot a sitcom pilot about the slowest panera ever just now in this panera

(PS obviously I’m feeling well enough to leave the house briefly)

Here Facebook, let me fix that text for you. Where it says “Get flashplayer” you can just strike all that and say “close window and leave”

Colbert Report: This Changes Everything - Obama's Martian Gayness http://t.co/hiTKKcY7

Would it kill a radio station to switch to an all-Barreiro format? Studies suggest NO. cc @DanBarreiroKFAN

I have just been to CVS and purchased a literal crap load of cold medicines. This is my Favorite way to inaugurate a Thursday!

I could probably watch Buddy Cole’s “Chalet 2000” every day forEVAR

Father Ted is truly funnier than it has any right to be.

CORNDOG ALL THE FACES

I’ve been thinking a lot about Jill Stein lately. @jillstein2012 http://t.co/8Bl9Dijb

Slutty A. Whitney Brown—dress like former SNL cast member and writer A. Whitney Brown except you have fishnets, a tail, and kitten ears.

The mythical bestiary argument in our household between mother and daughter has reached a considerable pitch.

Surdyks fall wine sale? Good thing I cashed in my 401k!

I really wish Biden would just fill the debate with quotes from Lords of Acid songs.

Fuckin Walt Mink, am I right you guys?!

Also Fuck You Forever Autocorrect

Before I start job hunting, I’m unsubscribing from tons of bullshit lists. UNSUBSCRIBE ALL THE THINGS