Handinpants

Since the absence of the illustrious Mr. Bob Ducca, I have come to suffer from the following ailments: Type Two Silver Tongue Syndrome Turf Toe Mazel Toe Stubbed Toe Gout Hitler Hands Advanced Sagging Mattress Disorder Kidney Stones Kidney Beans Acute Renal Failure Lupus Nephertiti-itis Ingrown Toenail Ingrown Hairline Pancreatitis Pancakeatitis Pancake Tits Outraged Bile Ducts Fallen Expectations Distressed Duodenum Depressed Breathing Mirthless Humours Raging Bull Fever Whining Cough I also suffer from Broken Goatee and an acute case of Scratch Neck.

I nearly fell out of my chair at the phrase "I agroons." As a senior without access to Life Alert, such a fall would have been unfortunate, and damaged much more than my pride. Equilibrium may have prevailed in my case, but I no longer feel safe recommending The Bob Ducca Self-Reflection Radio Hour to listeners over the age of 65 unless given a guarantee from Mr. Ducca that he will take the physical and mental well-being of the show's listeners into account when constructing his sentences. With sincere appreciation, "Grandpa" Llarold Handinpants