nrkist

That last picture is fake. There is no drunken man of indistinct 'sailory' origin on the back getting eaten by a shark. Nice try, photoshop.

Jerry, your neighborhood is awesome... The guy with the Delorean...does he look like Cristopher Lloyd? You live tightly nestled between the 4 borders of Hill Valley, Isla Nublar, Douchey Murderd-Out Truck Town,and whatever stupid thing King shits out?

Just in time for halloween... Nicholas Cage IS Timothy Carey, right? Or rather the reverse? He's got some sort of Dorian Gray thing going on? Like, if you burn the copy of Next you own, Nicholas Cage will deteriorate to Timothy Carey and then a skeleton and then die in a phantom, but hilariously melodramatic, scream?

I bet Rob Zombie is a real proponent of Chekhov's gun. "If there is a skull-fuck in the first act, it must return in the third. Whether that skull now be fucking someone else, or the skull-fucker himself is skull-fucked. I am told this is called irony...I call it a real good excuse to force another skull-fucking. It's just real writer's skull-fuck 101. Anyway, this concludes my TED talk, thank you for your time ladies and gentleman." <roar of applause>

Latest @midnight made reference to Chris Hardwick being 'too busy' due to 'crystal skeleton' 'D&D'. There is a weird crystal skeleton reference at the beginning of the latest episode that nobody gets. It's a Blain/Hardwick reference! Hardwick up as next guest. Awesome.

Yeah, that would be hilarious. "So, now the 'adults' are talking. I like to season my adult dialogue with a lot of vulgarity...that way you know it's serious and 'adult talk'. I don't want it to come off like a bunch of pre-pubescents discoverying curse-words for the first time and going super overboard. I feel I have a real gentle hand here. After-all, I don't want my characters to come off as one-dimensional morons who can only elucidate a scene through a monosylabbic shout of profanity." "So here, I wanted Emilio to be real "aw, what the f***?!". But how to communicate, "aw, what the f***?!" to the audience? Inspiration struck when Emilio was looking at the script and said, "aw, what the f***?!". I was like, "Nailed it.", and we just incorporated it into the script."

James Bonding gets a huge plus. I really need to bump this entire thread of fantastic recommendations and mention The Flophouse again. It's the only podcast where 'Castle Freak ding-dong gate' could possibly exist and constantly recur. Also 'Port-holes' from the 'Old Dogs' ep. Edit: I feel I need to amend this slightly, so people understand. 'Castle Freak ding-dong gate' emerged out of one of the hosts (Stuart) once forcibly mentioning, in reference to an off-topic tangent that was very weakly based on anything relevant to the movie being discussed, that it reminded him somehow of a (supposed) scene in Castle Freak where the titular Freak ripped his own little freak off for no reason. Elliot and Dan were flabbergast and for probably the only time in the history of this podcast there was a deafening silence. Elliot and Dan needle Stuart endlessly about this, and it comes up in the letterbag all the time as listeners chase down leads on Castle Freak edits that may feature a schlong-rend, and colorful interpretations of scenes that Stuart (somewhat of a lush of a film viewer) may have mis-read.

In the classic style of 80's horrors films, the 'versus'. I contend Once Bitten vs Vampire's Kiss. I think Cage and Carrey would totally be up for it.

Yeah...it's gonna be awesome... Edit: They could practically HDTGM the concept of a Skyline sequel getting greenlit and going past pre-pro to casting and pre-film. How Is This Getting Made?!

Putting Flash Gordon in there is a sin. Flash Gordon IS INDEED awesome.

Well, obviously, they have the sequel budgeting and forethought to really be able to push the usage of bedding as a plot point into 11. Also, bed sheets are not blinds. This does bring up a good point though. What if this really ups the ante and places the antagonists in a Venetian Blind Store. The interior/exterior walls are ALL windows, to display the venetian blinds to prospective passerbys for impulse purchase power. As we all know, venetian blinds fail at an epic rate, not to mention people somehow don't know how to tug on a simple slip-pulley cord right, and they end up eff'ing em all up and tying weird knots in the cables for no reason. The rest of the survivors struggle with their own ethics briefly before slaughtering this character. There will be a subplot about a corporate suit really cutting corners with these blinds and they only have til slightly 'Beyond skyline...darkening...cause it's night time...well, and lets be honest, someone has to say the title of the movie for the trailer.' before they all fail.

The Flophouse podcast is the closest thing I'm aware of. A couple Daily Show writers, and their slightly inebriated friend watch films they suspect they will hate, and then "discuss" them. Generally the conversation sorta drifts into insanely hilarious unrelated tangents. Read it and Weep. Reviews books/tv/movies. Not on HDTGM or Flophouse levels of comedy, but is usually pretty amusing.

One would assume. But apparently it was quite successful for it's budget. This is quite hard to swallow though as from what I can find the budget was 10.5 mil, which isn't really as lean as the producers originally suggested back in 2010. This might be some fancy book-keeping though that was done to allay the Battle LA/Skyline lawsuit. Even the title is a huge nonsensical fail: "Beyond Skyline" literally "Beyond the First Film", a real conservative promise.

Did I mention there are Nazi's in this children's film? Does Timmy need an introduction to the wonderful world of Racist Slur, direct from the mouth of his most beloved Grocery Branding Mascot? This film is here for that exact necessity! Have you ever wondered if Sunshine Goodness is a size queen? Well your five-yearold probably has.

I think what is so confusing about Maximum Overdrive, is that nothing that the alien manipulates has anything to do with electricity. So despite the alien being a bizarro electrical entity, all it's exhibited powers are infact telekinetic in nature. King seems to not notice this. He literally thinks telekinesis and electricity are the SAME indefinable force, ie Magic! Seriously, that's the only explanation. I also like Gremlin Truck that fails to raise or furrow any brows. Remember seeing those things all over the roads in the 80's? No you don't, cause it's freakin' ridiculous. It's an 18-wheeler that could only have been conceived to anthropomorphize the bodiless evil entity possessing it. Who was the design engineer that came up with this, and what twisted occult stuff was he into, film? Did he already have some existing plan for imbuing this truck with a demonic entity? Was this truck already exorcised once?

Monkey Shines will be great. I admit I was rooting for Maximum Overdrive though, because King apparently doesn't know the difference between mechanical power, electrical power, magic, telekinesis. It's literally all the same to him. Only 3 out of 4 of those things are real Mr. King! A man is slain by a soda machine. The most otherwordly looking soda machine I have ever seen in my life. One look at this soda machine tells you it's a pneumatically powered death machine designed primarily to kill and the dispensing of soda's was a real afterthought . Even if it weren't overtaken by a malign electrically based alien entity, it's probably been responsible for a lot of accidental deaths at the neighborhood ballpark.

This one needs resurrected. It's a child's animated film...ostensibly, about the secret life within your grocery store. You know, that place your kid can't get enough of. It's murder on the eyes. It would be notable for simply how bad the CGI is alone...but the producers did not hang their laurels there. It's uncomfortably sexual, and overtly racist. Did I mention that this film makes no sense? These are all the components of beloved HDTGM movies. Every facet of it is incomprehensible. Someone with some sense destroyed the working assets for the film along the line, and it failed to make it's 2003 release. This did not dissuade Lawrence Kasanoff from spending the next NINE YEARS, attempting to recover and recreate the magic of this film that someone risked their career to mercy kill.

Yeah, cause if they are gonna make a D&D joke, they would absolutely not play into it with maps and minis. They would show the blank slate of the earwolf desktop and let that joke fail. Cause everyone would get a D&D reference without miniatures and a map in a static shock shot. Edit: You are also incorrect, you made me double check myself. 'Crystal skeleton' is weirdly referenced and everyone is very confused and riffs on it. It's easy to miss, though the riffing is not. Points to a one-off or two-fer like House of Giggles. I guess Blaine just needs to be real heavy handed at this point: "This joke brought to you by: 3-4 weeks from now! That's right folks, it's the magic of podcasting and even I don't understand how it works! You already missed me at Phoenix by the time this is coming out! You were a terrible crowd....or a very good one! We are time traveling folks. Also, remember Crystal Skeleton? Of course not, I haven't made that joke yet. It's why it's so funny."

Why is it a long leap? Blaine is lead over @midnight. Hardwick has a history of D&D'ing with 'the gang'. Crystal skeleton references between the two shows sync. Blaine is the only one capable of making that happen. Hardwick is a guest, if not THE next guest.

It's like arguing Sarah is a 'bad' player cause she has a habit of 'wait...' or 'let's think about this...', and then Brian is like '...and after half a second of consideration I cave that dudes teeth in.' And then Sark is like, "...that was a child..." And then Sarah rolls a botch while Brian tries to wrap his head around who he just murdered and Sark has to rewrite an entire campaign and Sarah was always reading this correctly from the beginning. Blaine and Gerry LOL and riff endlessly and force bad narrative to each other. Brian: eh..so I punch in his face. Just right in the face. Sark: OK...so I don't get to finish talking...LOL. You punch this 'guy' in the face? Brian: Yeah, I destroy him. Should I roll? Sark: I guess. I mean, no...but you can--- Brian: 20. Sark: LOL. Ok...so before you even had the opportunity to meet this Dickensian child, you fluidly spun and punched him square in the face. Your fist literally dematerilizes his skull. Like, it would be glorious and incredible if his face weren't so innocent and cherubic before you compacted everything that was good in life with a 20. His head just instantaneously transformed to red mist. Brian: Should I roll again? Sark: Um...no... Brian: I'm gonna roll...

Nah, I love listening to these guys minds explode. Sark had a lot of 'uhms' too, it's difficult to DM and put your head in 3 places. You're gonna 'um' a little. Blaine "um's" cause he's on the spot, trying to make a joke, trying to force a joke, and trying to play it flat. He's juggling a lot of plates. Sark um'ing every 5 seconds is endearing, but Blaine um'ing EVER forced you to start editing out the 'Blaine Um's'....weird. If you are gonna do that, and it will get taken down, you can edit out the sponsors?

Sark, I get it. Leslie Nielsen, The Poseidon Adventure.

Blaine's definitely on track here. I like how no one is biting, though. I feel like Sarah should have had ALOT OF QUESTIONS about the fish/barrel/monsters, but she didn't ask. I have no idea what these things are, and I feel Blaine is begging the crew to ask some questions or investigate these things, and they just can't smell what that Roc that isn't arriving isn't cooking. The Gerry/Winter thing is problematic too. I feel like they are trying to protect his character so much, play it so safe, so that when he returns he can immediately step in. At this point though, Winter is a done character. There is no way Gerry can step into it. Better just have a new Gerry character obnoxiously and forcibly step into the narrative when he can return. Edit: Is it wrong that I want Gerry to return as 12-pack/The Elder prior to some of the events of the initial Nerd Poker run? He'd be perfectly dry delivery and Blaine would Sark him hard. That's the most disgusting thing I've ever said in my life. I guess I'm saying, regardless of coast, we could all come down, and together, on said coast, have some laughs. You know, time permitting, or not. It's a real no pressure thing. I'm nailing this Sark-Willis impression, right? Edit2: If Gerry doesn't return as 12-pack, I want him to return as Damien. Pre- or Post previous Nerd Poker. It would be hilarious.

I also had an idea about making a parody regarding back-masking in Nerd Poker episodes that syncs with scenes in episodes of Sym-Bionic Titan, ala Dark Side of the Moon/Wizard of Oz, but it was kinda a huge unrealistic project for a day off.