nrkist

It's a good idea. Conan 1982 is the better option. There is this strange magnetism that Schwarzenegger possesses though. Even though he is hammy and awful, it feels like he is totally IN on it and does a good job of bringing the audience on board. Best line of the commentary from that clip was Schwarzenegger's revelatory: "Man, I was getting laid alot in this movie...<chuckle>" Edit: I do wanna give a shoutout to: "And all of a sudden...he's has to listen...to the women problems...and...uh..." It's so perfect in it's delivery. He could have been a standup comedian.

Will this one require a HDTGM? I mean, it hasn't even been made yet, but I think we all know exactly how this is going to go down. There will only be cars in the most incidental fashion. It will play out like an 'ocean's' film with a collective of characters assigned certain stereotypes that they barely fulfill beyond being explicitly identified as that archetype. A muddled and nonsensical heist story with a revenge arc somehow shoved obnoxiously in there. A 'twist' of the lowest sort and a character resurrection/retcon.

Can that one bad guy be any more not Not Mr. T? I phrased this based on chapter 4 of Matthew Perry's 'Snarky Parsing in the 90's'.

This is gymkata level and should definitely be HDTGM. What was everyone 'c'moning' to with their assault rifles? Why did everyone have assault rifles while piling outta the van and running down the embankment? Why did only one person have an assault rifle in the cut to hudggle? Why did that shirtless guy passionately sweep his mom in his arms?

DeNiro, Murphy, Weaver. Premise seems like a great idea, yet the plot is a contradictory mess. The climax is the cherry on the top and leads to a tumbling house of cards and hilarious unintentional causation. It's literally the middle-finger, 'the audience is too dumb to remember anything', reveal.

I had never heard of this. I like the entire sequence of events with the helicopter in the clip though. Character appears to be trying to board the helicopter with all the agility of a soggy sock. He then abandons this measure after we cut to an establishing shot of the guys inside the helicopter DOING NOTHING. Thanks establishing shot, you have established that NOTHING is happening inside the cab. Guy plummets (why?) while spraying bullets wildly into the air. Helicopter in another movie instantly explodes. Cut back to the same shot of the free-falling guy grappling with his assault rifle and then spraying wildly into the air after a beat. What is he shooting at? Stumbles to shore while struggling out of his shirt no reason. Triumphant cheesy fist-pump to nobody. Cheery assault rifle huddle-hug.

I think I've tried to watch this film on several occasions and never made it through. I remember the goofy body mod party/rave a little and something about a car in a lake towards the end? Despite the insane premise, it somehow manages to be one of the most boring movies ever made. Am I recollecting wrong, or did a guy get his prince albert torn out...or was it the other way around?

I watched the fight on youtube just now and noticed something else. Keith David brandishes a bottle, breaks it, then looks at the jagged remnants disprovingly, and then dashes the make-shift bottle-shiv into pieces. WHY?! What is the thought process here?!

So Taylor Lautner IS a real person and not a cardboard cut-out? You can verify this? I get a real sense of the meaning of 'uncanny valley' when I see this guy on screen...

I think the discussion would hit this scene and stalemate into a ton of hilarious conjecture as to exactly why 99 percent of this fight scene did not hit the cutting room floor. Is there really no other conceivable way to convince this guy to put some sunglasses on? Cause I can think of almost an infinite number of less goofy ways... This film did raise my awareness though. If I'm walking through a mall and some dealer at a sunglass kiosk asks me to try some glasses on...I better roll up my sleeves, cause the gauntlet has been thrown and I've got a good 10-15 minute awkward street-fight on my hands. Edit: I would like to point out that there were no stakes to this fight. Either party could have walked away easily. Instead Piper tries to murder the guy while demanding he try the glasses on. "Seriously, time out for a second <wipe blood from chin with 2x4-less hand>...just try on the glasses". You know, once I guy tackles you for the third time and crushes your nuts with repeated knee-strikes to the groin because he doesn't wanna try on your magic glasses...he's just not the ally you're looking for. Piper also absurdly crashes the back window of a car with the most monumental whif of history whilst trying to cave in Keith David's skull. It is at this point the the bloodied Piper comes to his senses, drops the 2x4, and realizes things have been a little crazy for 10 minutes. "Sorry..." THAT's where it became too much? These guys have been trying to MURDER each other over sunglasses. Minor incidental vandalism is the straw that broke the camel's back here...and we're about half-way through this fight scene now...

Pointless Luke Perry cameo. His character exists for no reason other than to have a shoe-horned Luke Perry cameo well past the point that 90210 was relevant. They also wrote his irrelevant character in to be a douche. Initially, it might appear that he botched events that lead towards the event of the film, but infact the events of the film were always going to happen. He is strictly there to be Luke Perry...and an irredeemable douche.

Chris Tucker's character is offensive in such a particularly pure way. Not because he is so grossly over-acting, but on some basic animal level of hammy that he tapped into within the reptilian subconscious.Edit: Does anyone even understand WHERE the president's 'room' was located, or who half the people were? Why did the president's character even exist? Why did alot of things even exist in this film? Why was the priest standing by in the President's inner-sanctum/possibly spaceship/possibly underground bunker to give some plot convenient prescient advice...yet was totally side-swiped by the appearance of the fifth element on his doorstep? The first feat is much more unlikely than the second one, especially once given the first, the second seems a given...

Wow. It's settled, they have to do this film now. That's all sorts of big badda boom. Can we talk about Jovovich's improvisational baby-talk? Or the really unflattering granny panties we are treated to for the first 30 minutes of the film? She's literally wearing some tape...and granny panties...and a ronald mcdonald die-job. It's the nightmare anti-boner. I'm begging you HDTGM, pleeayaase hllllllllp, pleeeeyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaasssssssss.

I came here to recommend this film as well. I love it, but it has a tendency to go from a 10 to a 2 in record time. It's a yo-yo of inconsistency from effects, set design, wardrobe... Oddly, the most unbelievable piece of wardrobe is Willis's orange wife-beater. Least convincing wife-beater ever! What sort of budgetary decision making is going on when your film can't afford a wife-beater?! "Nah, we'll have someone in wardrobe whip up a wife-beater and save the 50 cents. We already blew through most of the budget on toilet seats for the confusing airport terminal backdrop and desk-drawer elephant animatronic."

Why was the tornado selectively full of sharks?!

You guys have to do the asiana crash news flub. An 'intern' invented the names of pilots involved, inserting "Ho Lee Fook", "Wi Tu Lo", "Sum Ting Wong" as unfortunate crew casualties, which were then publiziced over the airwaves by numerous news agencies attempting to scoop the story. The NTSA issued a statement saying, "A summer intern acted outside the scope of his authority..." Do summer interns HAVE a scope of authority? What sort of operation are they running over there at that mom-and-pop NTSA? Just rambo pun interns running the show at that agency I guess... "...they agreed that new measures needed to be taken (approximation, I don't recall exact wording)...and that the names should definitely be read aloud before going to air (that is a definite measure they intend to enforce in the future and quotable word-for-word)." This has to be youtubable at this point... "Sir, can you please state your name for me?" "It's right there on my application..." "Sir, it's a federal mandate that you state your name for me, so as not to embarass myself or the company I work for if you have a fraudalently pun-worthy name..." "It's not a big deal...dude, seriously?" "It's my f'ing job, 'dude'. Do you even remember asiana flight...asiana...flight... "are you trying to think of a number right now?" "Heh, so you do know what I'm talking about. I'm going to leave about 30 seconds of heavy silence here while I scribble something judgementally on a page...which is hard to convey over a purely auditory medium, so it's good that you can see me while receiving your shaming...and please don't interrupt my scribbling."

Lol, fantastic as always, though, Paul, why do you sound like you are skypeing into a vacuum that is broadcasted over wideband to the theater everyone else is in? Also, nobody likes Whodunnit? ya jerk. No...not even in a 'so bad, it's good' way. Kinda bad taste to accept a cut of the advertising revenue while mocking the provider's premium services...

I love this podcast! Can you guys do Saw V? There's this amazing plot element where the hero keeps having flashbacks during his 'discovery' arc that belong to other characters. It makes zero sense why it's cut in this manner, and how contextually it's related to what the detective discovered. It's many levels of awesome. Edit: Essentially this COULD happen in this film: Strahm finds an unlabeled headshot in a blank manilla folder in the basement of a house. Flashback to Hoffman sitting on the shitter and texting Jigsaw. Cut back to Strahm: "That's how you did it you sick SOB!". WHAT?! NOBODY COULD KNOW THAT! How did you flashback to that?! How did this picture that means nothing except perhaps loosely to the audience trigger an unrelated flashback that belongs to a different character?! It's really great. There are so many great moments in this film. The bland, weakly established red herring, discovers a MANILLA ENVELOPE. Yes, Manilla Envelope is one of the stronger characters in this film and get's most of the screen time. In this unique case, THIS envelope is a plant labeled 'Top Secret' in cartoony stamp style. Why does a psychos one-man operation require security clearances in his OWN filing system?! Regardless of the goofiness of this scene, bland guy turned bland hero in 3rd act opens this folder which contains only TWO things. The first is a headshot of himself, to whit he says: "...whaaaat?...". He then shuffles it aside to the ONLY OTHER THING IN THE TOP SECRET FOLDER...which is another headshot of himself to whit his face blanches and he exclaims: "JEEZUS!"