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nrkist

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Posts posted by nrkist

  2. Posted

    This is unacceptabluuulll!

     

    You gotta read that line while your internal monologue furiously shakes its Admiral Ackbar jowls. I'm assuming everyone's internal monologue sounds like Admiral Ackbar, correct? Even if your in the small minority that has a Wilford Brimley internal monologue, it sounds about jowly and infuriated enough.

  3. Posted

    Well if you think DC doesn't have something to match GotG, they have Grant Morrison's run on Doom Patrol. Morrison began working at DC with the understanding that he wanted his own 'team' that he could do whatever he wanted with. They settled for the twice executed Doom Patrol, and Morrison literally did WHATEVER he wanted with this 'team'. They have tried to revive the comic several times since his run, but nobody can match the hilariously horrific cosmic insanity of Morrison's...plus he got kinda pissy and killed off all the characters when his run was terminated for more pressing DC projects...making revival difficult to say the least.

  5. Posted

    Returning to the dog for a minute, is it possible that the guy caught that dog while he was fishing and is throwing it back?

     

    Also, this mini ep provided more evidence that Paul has some kind of name aphasia. And on that subject, doesn't it seem like whenever Paul apologizes for mispronouncing Avril the intern's name in the past, there is no discernible difference in how he says the name with the supposedly correct pronunciation?

     

    But that dog will die off anyway. It's always bad to throw a dog back, because the other dogs will know that he was caught and detect your scent/hormones on them.

     

    Dogs are not Catch and Release. You basically got to eat them if you snag one.

    • Like 2

  7. Posted

    Great ep! Looked up Peretti's podcast and it's great too.

     

    What's up with the signature CCP pic, though?! Vacant stare, nebulously emotionless model's face. Looks like you're trying to sell me knock-off watches on a street corner while having an intense vision of a disconnected and confusing apocalyptic far future. Fix that shit!

  8. Posted

    This is such a bad idea. The introduction of a baby character in any production is always a miscalculation.

     

    As people are worried that the baby might somehow distract from your more pressing podcasting priorities, perhaps you could start a running gag where your episodes are occasionally interrupted with a 90 second bit with a guest cameo as Obnoxious Baby.

     

    Mantzoukas: "--Literally! And then, are we to think...are we to think...are.. I'm sorry, but WTF is that noise?"

     

    Paul: "I thought I was the only one hearing that!"

     

    June: "..."

     

    Mantzoukas: "This is unbelievable. Is it that freakin' guy again?"

     

    June: "...our baby?"

     

    Paul: "Hang on, I think I know what this is. Avery Murphybrown Scheer-Raphael?! Is that you buddy?"

     

    Obnoxious Baby: "Goo-goo-guilty as charged MF'ers! I'm all collicky! Does this look like a rash?! What's that stank?! I'm just kidding, it's clearly me."

  9. Posted

    That's strange, it seems like this was already HDTGMed. As other's have pointed out, there is already a documentary about this film and a pretty great rifftrax of it. The HDTGM question has already been answered and it has been riffed and comically derided in many formats before and since.

     

    It did make me remember a film I watched several times as a kid: Troll. If I'm not mistaken, it is possibly the film to which this film is related by title alone? It also kinda has the Troll 2 issue of not really having any trolls. I think there are one or two Goony knock-offs, a closet door to Crappier Narnia, and the primary antagonist is a brisk wind...or something. I was 6 or 7 at the time, but I'm pretty sure this is a spot on synopsis.

  10. Posted

    The only thing I remember about this film is it being intensely boring and poorly paced and multiple things wrong with the twist at the end...

     

    I dunno that there is a good HDTGM here except for the reveal in the last 15 minutes...

     

    Edit: I kinda feel like the film assumes you fell to sleep in the first 10 minutes and woke to watch the last 10 and just accept that it makes sense. Pitch: "NOBODY is going to make it through this film to nitpick this ending!"

  11. Posted

    Not only is this film bad, but it's 'unfair' to the audience. A twist should allow the audience to follow it back and understand it's finer points and impact on plot relevant moments. You might as well cut out 90 percent of this film as it's irrelevant to the story and has no relevance to the nonsense twist. The 10 percent remaining is wholely uninteresting and borderline retarded.

     

    This would be a fun one to hear to the group try and come up with goofy explanations for any character motivations though:

     

    "So...are we to think...<sigh>...at this moment in the film...not at the end when we know that was all BS and doesn't make any sense except as a ridiculous forced contrivance...and fuck all for the character motivations in that moment...and I really want to get to that right now too...<sigh>...but at the moment that we are first exposed to this scene...<sigh>...I just realized I can't address this yet without going forward a little bit and then addressing an earlier contrivance to nowhere...<sigh>..."

     

    Literally any moment in this film...

     

    Edit: Film is russian nesting doll of retarded making it extremely difficult to discuss, but should yield wealth of hilarious commentary.

    • Like 3

  12. Posted

    I think i recommend this movie once before, but am too lazy to check. this movie was great but most likely never get done because of Jason's fear of clowns. also no big actors in this film.

     

    but great fun to watch, I recommend it to everyone here. Five stars...

     

    To be fair, Ross Noble is quite a famous comedian, though his schtick is sorta a poor man's Robin Williams: babble nonsense as rapidly and manically as possible under the pretense of some sort of intelligent stream of thought high-brow comedy. It's pretty awful stuff, but he somehow has a huge following. This is also a film, because of Noble's involvement, people like to compare favorably to Evil Dead 2, Dead Alive...when it couldn't be any further on the spectrum of film. Jackson's earlier Bad Taste would be my recommendation instead. They might be able to nab Jackson or someone involved and I'm sure that film has a lot of banana's production stories to be shared.

  13. Posted

    On the surface, it might appear to be any run of the mill sci-fi fan-service boob-fest, but underneath that tasteless veneer, there is actually a really really bad film going on.

     

    Features a peculiar time travel mechanic...that the film itself can't keep straight...and never manages to utilize. Questionable morality of a story played so earnestly it's clear the writer was entirely unaware of the disturbing creep factor. Not that he doesn't attempt to make it creepy, it's just the underlying creepy bit at it's center seems to fly over the writer's own head.

     

    Unapologetic racism and misogyny are always best when the one presenting is unaware they are on display. "But you said boobs and fan-service in your first sentence. Of course it's aware." No...no it isn't.

     

    Most of the WTF moments are derived from character motivations, how straight and natural these motivations are played, and how exactly it reflects on the writer and exactly what the point of this story is.

     

    A character witnesses the encroaching 'loop' in which he observes himself observing a nude body sushi woman perform a flying Lui Kang kick across a room sending a kid crashing into a chinet cabinet. You must understand, he had to see this event from not 10 minutes earlier happen a second time before he recalled it. THAT'S what the off screen commotion was earlier in the film?! Why isn't the movie about this body sushi performer?!

     

    It's streaming on Netflix at the moment.

  14. Posted

    Yeah I never bought that whole 'Oh it was bad because of aliens!' line. I love sci-fi and had no problem with Indiana Jones doing a 50s sci-fi pulp thing. It sounded like a cool idea on paper. But everyone involved looked so bored. Ford looks bored, Shia looks bored, Karen Allen looks like she's suffering from botox paralysis...and why exactly was John Hurt in this? I love John Hurt, but I could not tell you what the point of his character was.

     

    I don't think the problem was the aliens. The films themselves play out mostly as an action/intrigue pulp while teasing the mystical fantastic macguffin. By the time you get to the climax of these films, the audience WANTS to see something crazy. They WANT to know what this gonzo race to the artifact was all about. The audience is salivating for some sort of bizarre reveal at the end of those journies. ToD bucked this trend a bit and just came off goofy and disliked for this poor decision. Crystal Skull went even further off the mark by just being insane from start to finish. Just insane in a totally grating and annoying fashion.

     

    It's always a bad decision for your film to rely on callbacks to previous films for its success. There should be a running callback counter in the bottom of the screen for this film. If you removed all the callbacks/self-references, is there even a film here? Kinda the litmus test that should have been applied before this franchise got greenlit for resurrection.

    • Like 1

  16. Posted

    Early Syfy channel film, before it was Syfy channel and before the films were tongue in cheek affairs. Available on netflix.

     

    There is a great moment in the film where the geneticist working on mutating crocodiles is forced to drag everyone along in order to find an expert. Wait, isn't the researcher the expert? No, a greasy guy on a greasy boat at what looks like Laka Havasu that lacks any education whatsoever is the expert to which they defer. His words of wisdom after reviewing the sparse information provided and some careful consideration is:

     

    "Well, I think what we got here...is a dinocroc."

     

    A what now? He probably says that about everything...

  19. Posted

    It's been a while and correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Cena's character escape explosive firey death by jumping out a window at least three times in this one?

     

    Rule of three means it must be chosen.

     

    I think it's been a while for everyone, but I seem to recall that. Something else I remember is Robert Patrick's character continually being flabbergasted that this Marine continues to dog them.

     

    "That goddamn Marine won't stop turning up!"

     

    Yeah, no shit. That's because he's trying to kill you. Patrick's character doesn't seem to understand this.

  20. Posted

    I love this film. Like everything King churns out on the regular, it somehow gets greenlit before it's even written. It has waaaay too many characters. That's a weird thing, right off the bat.

     

    "Did this guy just shit an alien out of himself...to death? I don't think I am reading this script properly. Like, my character totally figured out that that's what's happening?"

  21. Posted

    This is actually a good idea. The title itself deserves at least a 15 minute discussion. Just everyone arguing at each other and figuring out what the title is supposed to mean and how it got on the box.

     

    You know how sometimes a film has a strange title, that doesn't make sense until your 90 minutes in and a character kinda organically SAYS the title out of nowhere. I really wanted that impossible thing to happen in this film...

  23. Posted

    They are running these non stop on AMC right now, and as an adult, I am amazed that I ever found any of this shit scary at all. Like they showed all of the Nightmare on Elm Street movies, and watching them as an adult, they were not scary or frightening -- but they were rather gruesome, slapstick horror live-action cartoons.

     

    The Chucky movies are even more perplexing because it is just a doll. Why not just burn the doll? Why not break the doll? Are they not stronger than a plastic doll? And what happens at the end of those movies -- who gets the blame for all of those deaths? Do you tell the authorities that a doll came to life and killed everyone?

     

    It's funny. Like as the credits roll and you look at the body count of these children's family scroll by, you're like: "These kids are totally grounded, right?"

  24. Posted

    In this striaight to blu-ray/dvd sequel, a 2 foot doll Chucky's mission is to kill a woman in a wheelchair in a dark house. The movie also tries to tie all the other Child's Play movies together with this one. Terrible acting and dialogue. Pure Garbage. I really said to myself not even 25 minutes in...How Did This Get Made!!!!!

     

    Just no. Have you seen anything since Child's Play? This film isn't awesome, but there are definitely riper grapes in this franchise to pick. Maybe it deserves a How Did This Get Reviewed So Well? It's totally a direct to shelf film, but it's one of the least embarrassing Chucky outtings. Those things were all in theaters!

  25. Posted

    That's pretty amazing. It sounds like your sister had something really serious going on and just everyone involved was rolling their eyes.

     

    Paramedic: "She made THIS dent in the wall? And just passed out like that? She's probably having what we call a 'her period'. Go watch a movie or something and pick her up in an hour. That Jeff Goldblum thing is supposed to be pretty goofy. I would totally go with you guys, but I got this unconcious drama queen with the head injury over here..."

    • Like 1
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