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Everything posted by ThePinkPhantom
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Well, at least Brian found something to do. #BigBangTheory Rock show! Rock show! ROCK SHOOOOOWWWW!
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Things could have gone very differently if it hadn't been dwarves: "IX-I-I What is your emergency?" "Yes, my hut has just been Magic MissileTM d by a magic user of some sort." "Is anyone injured?" "Yes, my baby was killed by a missile. He only had 1d4 hit points. And my oldest died from the resulting fire. It took us 4 rounds to extinguish him and that was too long." "Ma'am, rescue is on the way. Be warned there have been reports of a flying elf in the area." "Damn, Santa" (Ba-dum chh)
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"Crazy shit that happened in old adventures" segment name
ThePinkPhantom posted a topic in Nerd Poker
Because I can be obsessive about such things I thought I'd compile the suggestions so far. Then we can just add on in one forum. Each name/set of names starts with the user name who suggested it/them. If I missed any I apologize. RIP Spirit Bear "The Wizard Regales With Nerdly Tales" Kronos_Deftone "Past Adventures Segment" "Brian Posehns Rape Fantasy Minute" "Nerd Poker Lore" "Nerd Poker Presents: Sweatin' to the Oldies" "Nerd Poker Presents: Remember that Time..." "Memories of Parties Past" "Nerd Poker Presents: Precious Moments" "Nerd Poker Presents: How to Party-wipe" "Nerd Poker Presents: Fucking Up Your DM in 3 Easy Steps" "Telling Stories While Everyone Else Hits a Bong" "Nerd Poker Story Time" modeminitstring Previous Exploits in Nerd, Nerd Heritage, Pio-Nerding in the Past, From the Vault of Nerd, Remember When.., The Nerd Old Days, Ghosts of the Nerdy Past. donaldj "A Brief History of Shit We Did In The Past" "Remember That Time When Something Awesome Happened?" Kodo 'Legends Of Might & Morons' Brendan H - Glory Rolls (bad pun on glory holes, in case you couldn't tell) - Perception Bonus - Buenos Botches - Fables of Fail and Furor - Dice Rolls & Ice Holes (of Yore) - Roll Again Ajfaruzzi I think the segment should continue a good rift off the poker theme. Perhaps something like: Badbeats Flushed All In (Can stand up when this segment is announced and a mock pushing in all your chips) The Kicker ABadIdol Other Dimensions? conor fitz "A Song of Dice and Ire" "That's how we rolled" ThePinkPhantom For the retelling of glorious tales I suggest F*cked-up Fantasy Flashbacks. And for extra nerdy moments you can refer to it as F3. This F3 moment was brought to you br DammitallTM . Has your fighter been fried by a lightning bolt? Has your wizard been wacked by an axe? Give them DammitallTM this round and they'll be back in the battle next round! DammitallTM, sold in 2d8, 2d10, and now the new 3d12 sizes! Found at Adonis's Apothecary on the leech and newt aisle. Yes, I included my entire post. I'm narcissistic that way, sue me. -
When I listened to this episode I wasn't expecting a comedy "This is SportsCenter" moment. Dadada dadada. But for me the most hilarious moment was when Sarah rolled the one. She's usually so understated compared to the others. My jaw dropped and eyes widened when she just let off that stream of obscenity. Great show.
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Owlbears! What's that bear doing to that owl? Owlbears!
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You'd prefer Ral Donner?
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Cue Cinderella's "You Don't Know What You've Got Til It's Gone". All hail Nerd Poker Dungeon's & Dragon's with Brian Posehn and Friends! Remember it with the mnemonic: Never Poke DaD with Big Penises and Fried chicken legs.
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This week's worth of dead air is brought to you by withdrawal symptoms! Shivering, screaming, moaning, curling up in a ball...withdrawal symptoms! C'mon, baby, I need the good stuff. *shiver*
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Has your sword lost its shine? Is your armor offensive? Well clean them and keep them clean with ShiKn-ightAllTM! Items treated with ShiKn-ightAllTM resist the worst dungeon dirt! Slimes and jellies slide right off! Rust monsters turn up their noses! We took a common shield and treated it with ShiKn-ightAllTM. We then left it in a dungeon infested with Gelatinous Cubes! After one week our team of intrepid adventurers recovered the shield, and it gleamed a brightly as the day we left it! So get to your local peddler or merchant and ask them for ShiKn-ightAllTM! Accept no substitutes! ::jingle:: When your gear needs extra shine, ShiKn-ightAllTM does it, every time! ::end jingle:: ShiKn-ightAllTM! (No adventurers were hurt in the making of this ad. Just lots and lots of Gelatinous Cubes.)
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The Big Bang! The beginning of everything! Big Bang! ::Micro-Machine Man voice::Not-to-be-confused-with-"Let-there-be-light"-The-Big-Bang-does-not-support-or-deny-the-existence-of-a-supreme-being.-Please-consult-your-minister-before-supporting-The-Big-Bang.-The-Big-Bang-is-not-responsible-for-any-damnation-that-may-result-from-its-use.-All-Rights-Reserved::end Micro-Machine-Man voice::
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Telegraph! In a complex world of sounds, moving pictures, flashy graphics, and emoticons, you need the simplicity of dashes and dots STOP Telegraph! It's the original Internet STOP Telegraph! Because communications technology peaked in the 1880's STOP Telegraph! It's the orginal Twitter STOP Telegraph! Just STOP From the makers of Pony Express, when it absolutely, positively has to get there weeks from now!
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Through out gaming, movies, books, and even history, there have been moments when people needed to speak up to avoid bad decisions. Hey, Napoleon - Russia is big, gets really cold in winter, and the Russians would rather burn everything down than let you eat their food and stay in their homes. Hey, Lindsey Lohan - Alcohol, drugs, and pantyless partying is not a good career move. Hey, Luke - Get your mind out of the gutter; she's your sister. Hey, Amarth - We wanted to talk to that guy. You shoulda said somethin Share your favorite "You should said somethin" moments from your favorite story, adventure with friends, or RPG campaign!
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MySpace! Isn't it cute, grandpa still thinks he's cool! MySpace! Because Zuckerburg would never be your first friend. MySpace! Love us, please! We're still cooler than Friendster! MySpace! (cue the jingle) Do you really think Facebook is your place? Then you haven't tried the new MySpace! -From the makers of Compuserve
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(Okay, one more) Obnoxious signatures! Yeah, yeah you're the funniest/smartest/alpha nerd. Overcompensating on Internet forums since the ASCII days of 1994! Obnoxious signatures. I gots one, and I knows it!
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Broad swords! You got your hacking in my slashing! You got your slashing in my hacking! Broad swords! If I don't stop now I never will. Good night, Glenishmoore!
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Eyes! Looking, blinking, crying, Eyes! From the makers of Ears.
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Spartans! Heroes of Thermopyle, despoilers of boys. Spartans!
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Sphinx! (Sphinx!) Unholy union of man and lion. Sphinx. From the makers of Minotaur and Basselope! (Shout out to "The Venture Brothers" and Berke Breathed's "Bloom County")
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Boomerangs! When your dog is too lazy to fetch. Boomerangs!
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Oldies stations! It's been 30 years since the 1980's. Oldies stations!
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Obscure emoticons! Because nuance and emotion are not hard enough in chatrooms. Obscure emoticons.
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Pen and paper! Work! Play! Talk to your friends! It's the original computer! Pen and paper!
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"Crazy shit that happened in old adventures" segment name
ThePinkPhantom replied to ThePinkPhantom's topic in Nerd Poker
Epic Tales and Epic Fails Ashes of the Past (a really weird "Married With Children" reference that popped into my head) Do You Remember the Time (sung like Michael Jackson) Good Fortunes and Facepalms Brian Posehn and Friends present Tales of Heroism, Hilarity, Hideous Fates, and Handjobs brought to you by (cue Blaine) I think I'm getting delirious. I'll stop now. -
I believe they mentioned early on that this is their first run in 4th ed. As different as 4th ed is from previous versions, and it seems like they're coming from more of a 2nd ed viewpoint, you're going to get tons wrong unless you've practically memorized the manuals. Considering the traveling schedules they have, I doubt they've got time for that. And if they're not big MMORPG fans, a lot of this stuff is counter intuitive (no tabletop pun intended but help yourselves). Also, this seems more like an ad hoc campaign type of group; they just roll as they roll (no dice puns intended, etc.). To them the "System" is just a system. I'm sure they'll get it down with time. Or as much as they want to get it down.
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Botchapallooza or The Ballad of The Runner and The Deuce Our heroes stalked their enemies and would not go away; Planned to ambush stealthily within a stairway. Strip the clothes from victims' hides, Then pitch the bodies off the side, But they didn't count on The Runner and The Deuce. The Runner and The Deuce sensed something was amiss. When the heroes charges, in their pants they pissed! The Deuce stood his ground to fight, The Runner took to instant flight, So began the epic of The Runner and The Deuce. Heroes pursued The Runner, but it all went wrong. Bobbled, botched, and missed like they'd been pulling on a bong! Mildred her own feet did tie, Blackee Green's spells went awry, And Amarth gouged his own leg, as The Runner's luck held true! Bartho's swings at The Deuce also went astray. Deuce got a little crispy, then also ran away. A dragonborn in pursuit, And Mildred turned to chase him too; All in hopes of catching, the one known as The Deuce. Amid a flurry of 1's and 3's, our heroes were dismayed; It looked as if their quarry, just might get away! But they would not yield the day, This fucking game they still will play, Tune in next week to find the fate of The Runner and The Deuce! (Same Ell Ryan time. Same Ell Ryan podcast.)