Joe McGurl

Okay heeeeeeeeeeeeeeere we go! Final predictions for the season! I can't believe it's over :( 6 - Spencer wins immunity. Keith gets voted out ;( 5 - Jeremy wins immunity. Jeremy gives his idol to spencer. Wentworth plays her idol. All the votes were cast for Wentworth or Spencer and each vote is negated FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. On the revote, only Kimmi and Tasha can be voted for and Tash ends up going home. 4 - Spencer wins immunity. Kimmi gets voted out. Final Tribal: This is a really hard call. Jeremy, Spence and Wentworth have all played very good games but I think Spencer gets the least amount of votes. Jeremy and Wentworth will have had two successful idol plays so that's huge. It will be close, maybe a one vote difference but in the end, I'm picking the person that I had on day one. The Sole Survivor and winner of Survivor Second Chances is: Jeremy Collins.

Oh fuck, this is going to be the Dan Klein episode thread all over again

Someone in the AV club comment section also referenced that there were two Pittsburgh callers and he is from there as well and he needs to get out more or something. So I'm not definitely saying that JeffreyParties and Ashley should have a threesome with this dude but maybe just consider it idk seems like a home run to me but then again I don't know what the sexual politics of hooking up with internet strangers in western Pennsylvania are like. Northeast PA is like the wild west of threesomes out here

Okay. What do I do now that I'm excited? Please give me further instructions ThunderCock69, why did you get me so excited? I'll be up all night now thinking about how excited I am for the CBB Christmas Special

I would like to invite The Wolf Den to go ahead and get down to suck on deez (I'm taking ownership of this feud back)

Great first post! (I'm taking ownership of this bit back)

Hayes texted me and said, "Hey it's call in episode time again but we don't ACTUALLY want you to call in, we're just gonna pretend so I can give you a great new nickname. It's "The Hammer" and that's you now. How's that sound?" I just responded with "k."

I'm saying that Jeremy plays his idol tonight and Kimmi is going home. I DON'T EVEN KNOW

Or something like that I dunno

Jumping into hot tar wouldn't kill you at first. It would definitely melt the flesh off your bones if you were in there for a while and depending on how DEEP you jumped in, shut down your central nervous systems. If it were me, I would have someone tie a rope around my waste so the flesh melted off and then have my friend pull me out and I could walk around with all my muscles exposed and get a job at a circus or maybe Ripley's Believe It or Not

OH NO IT'S THE GHOST OF JONNY FAIRPLAY'S "DEAD" GRANDMA COMING TO HAUNT US WITH THE LOVED ONES VISIT EPISODE!!!! Here's what I think is going down: I think Keith is the one who goes down at the challenge and needs medical attention but I refuse to believe that anyone will go home at this point on a medevac because everyone is great and that would suck so hard so I'm just gonna say that Keith needs attention but stays in the game. Joe wins immunity because he wants to show those suckers that they had one chance to vote him off and they missed it. Wentworth continues to be a total smokeshow goddess yasss kween. Tasha goes home.

@A Bear You got lucky this time but we're on to you, you little shit

Wow, what a great episode of my favorite podcast with my favorite bb Agata! My only critique is that the episode SHOULD have been named, "Agata, Gabe and July, Our Close Friends...With Benefits." This is a reference to the podcast "Trends with Benefits" that is hosted by Agata, Gabe and July. It's a bit of a cerebral joke and definitely a thinker but once you GET it, you'll be glad that you read this post.

Super stuffed two hours of Survivor does not disappoint. I can't believe how fucking good this season is. This one gets the full PROBST from me. OKAY NOTES TIME! Had to put them on a google doc because I had too many gifs this time https://docs.google.com/document/d/1O4a6vQ45tqE3Zht2odcI1dujlN3EZ31SG0dCXJqgPgI/edit?usp=sharing

Damn, I was just about to rebrand to #1 Nice Boy but looks like that's out of the question now. Thanks a lot Danny, we were supposed to fulfill the prophecy together. The chosen ones.

Everyone that called in did a very good job and were very funny thankful for you all thankful for the hollywood handmen podcast thankful for again being crowned #1 handsome boy and the hubba hubba heartthrob 2015

#JusticeforCharlie #JeSuisCharlie #BringOurShowShowBroHome

"I've used different Alan chat websites in the past but nothing gets you closer to the real thing than alanchat.com. I can honestly say that this website changed my love life and life in general for the better." - testimonial from alanchat.com user JoeMcGurl69

I can't watch until tomorrow so I'll be feasting on some delicous Thanksgiving foods and also feasting on two hours of Survivor! My predictions for this week are: Episode 1: The Fishbach Menace Bad weather destroys and demoralizes the camp except for Joe who feeds off of the islands energy and making him even stronger. At the challenge, Jeff offers some crazy twist with those rocks like, "you can eat a big feast or we'll fix your camp but you can't compete in the challenge" and almost everyone drops out except for Joe, giving him an even better shot at winning immunity again and he fucking does it. Tasha is pissed at Stephen for breaking their alliance and she teams up with the witches coven to vote him out! Bye bye Fishy! Fishbach cry count: a record 5 absolute embarassing breakdowns Episode 2: Attack of the Joes I dunno. Joe probably loses and goes home EXCEPT HE DOESNT! Fooled you. Joe rallies the troops and kicks off Kimmi who is dead weight.

Do Jackal and I mean NOTHING to you? Wow. Feeling really betrayed by my old friend "Thejjar" or as I liked to call him, "the j jar."

*Joe Biden awakes to a knock on his door* Biden: Yes, come in. *his chief aide walks in* Aide: Happy birthday, Mr. Vice-President! We have breakfast waiting for you downstairs. Biden: ah, excellent. Thank you. *the aide begins to leave* Biden: (in a hushed whisper) Uhmm...Jenkins? Did you....did you get me the present that I asked for? (The aide looks around to make sure they're alone. He opens up his jacket to reveal a deluxe finger painting set and crayons) Biden: (smiles wryly) Oh yes. This is gonna be the best birthday yet. Happy 72nd Joey B, ya Scranton sunnuvabitch. Everyone please tweet to him and let him know we care

Solid ep. Started off kind of boring but really picked up some serious steam after the reward challenge. Lots of exciting stuff. My boy Jeremy picks up another idol and Queen Bae Wentworth survives another week. I've almost completely come around on Abi. After being overloaded with her annoyance in the beginning, she's mellowed out and is kind of fun and likable. I don't think it will be a COMPLETE disaster if she stays around to the end anymore. Anyway, not a lot of notes this week so let's get to em: Congrats to English major and lit nerd Stephen Fishbach for misquoting one of the most famous lines Shakespeare ever wrote Lol at Abi running across the beach Abi ending Joe's search for the idol by claiming she has to take a dump is pretty amazing in the most Abi way possible. Bless that little Brazilian dragon. Wigglesworth picked the worst team ever for this reward. They are getting SMOKED Probst as Fishbach's team is stomping the other team: "FISHBACH LETS GO THIS IS WHY YOU'RE HERE COME ON." Even Probst likes to pick on that dweeb I guess Wigglesworth talks to everyone and is a huge threat to win this game. Could've fooled me. This bird got more screentime than Wigglesworth. Jeremy: Hey, I have to go poop and definitely not going to get an idol. bye Camera Man: Hey I'll come follow you and film you pooping. This is normal Stephen and Spencer didn't even want the advantage, they're just both the biggest survivor nerds ever and at least had to know what it was This week in Probst Innuendos Wigglesworth can't get it up! This week in Joe Mcgurl is an objectifying monster Kelley Wentworth is really hot. She has a really nice body that I like looking at. "My butt is cramping!" Poor Abi. Undone by her beautiful Brazilian butt. Who would've ever thought that Abi would give Joe a run for his money at immunity Props to Joe. There is nothing that Joe cannot do. Look at him. He's like a dripping wet Survivor God. Woah that's a pretty huge advantage. Stealing someone's vote. Can't wait to see that Savage walking into tribal with his cool guy beanie and doing the "rock on" sign: #LovinTheCoven This rain be crazy "there's only room for one Kelley on this island." YASSS KWEEN KELLEY SLAYYYYYY It's weird that tonight's tribal council had people voting but Jeff just read empty pieces of parchment and then a torch floated over to him and he snuffed it. Almost like there was an invisible person in this game Farewell, Wiggles. We truly hardly knew you. Quick shoutout to Probst for being the best reality tv host in the game. He just stands there during the immunity challenge and gets soaked right with them. He sits there at tribal and just gets poured on and he LOVES it. He's amazing. Preview next week: what are those rocks for? Either to play the challenge or eat food? I'm thinking maybe an un-merge???

I always dreamed of this day coming and to be given this prestigious award by the big clown himself...wow. What a day.

This week in a stunning turn of events, Jeff Probst goes home leaving the game in chaos. A struggle breaks out between Joe and Jeremy to become the new Survivor host when suddenly, Fishbach is impaled through the chest with one of the cast members torches. He falls to the ground on his knees in front of a stunned Joe. Joe sees, who else, but Abi holding the torch and skewering the limp nerd. "Look you guys. I finally caught a Fish." She laughs maniacally and kicks Fishbach's lifeless body into the Tribal Council fire pit. Everyone has looks of shock and fear on their faces except for Wigglesworth who may be asleep, no one really knows or cares to check. Kass and Savage start FUCKING on the jury bench. Spencer's skin falls off and is revealed to indeed be a robot. Jeremy takes Joe and Wentworth by the hand and the three of them run away as Abi and CIera begin chanting a spell to sink the island. Richard Hatch flies in on a helicopter to take Jeremy, Joe, Wentworth and Tasha to safety. Everyone else dies. Crazy but that's why we love this game called Survivor (but really my prediction is Fishy goes home this week)