Joe McGurl

Finally listened to the episode and I gotta say, this podcast is pretty funny

Honlads is gonna be so pissed at you for posting a picture of a potato. You fucked up Brett tbh

Sorry I didn't post first this week guys. I was off being successful actor boy making fuckin thick stacks of cash and layin mad pipe while you limp dick chumps sat around clickin refresh on the internet like Minkus tryna get his grades on the last day of finals instead of gettin in on summadat sweet Topanga stank. Enjoy your pyrrhic victories. Gonna keep killin my reign as I go make it rain on some straight up 10s. BOOMSHAKKALAKKA HE'S HEATING UP

The soundtrack they made for Pete and Pete is legitimately great and one of my favorite albums of all time.

If you ask me, Shap really shined in Soup to Nuts. It's too bad he left the stooges to pursue a solo career but hey...Larry, Moe and Curly didn't star in Kazaam now did they?

please don't bring up Kate Upton, she is reserved 4 my fanfics only

Yeah. I was there that day at Hooters. This kid Colt walks in and right away, I knew there was something special about him. He just had this glint in his eyes that projected a steely determination and drive. I sat this kid and his dad at their table and he slammed down more wings than I'd ever seen. He wasn't even phased by all the stacked racks bouncing around him..then it happened. In walked Shaq and BOOM. This kid and his dad were up and Colt was getting his picture taken with the Shaq Attack. It felt like it was happening in slow motion. I'd never seen anything like it before in my life and I haven't since. It was the greatest day of my life. That kid changed the game forever. The world of getting your picture taken with a celeb at Hooters would never be the same.

Is Chanson cool now? I just can't keep up anymore!

NORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRM! Haha just kidding bro, love it! So fukked but that's why we do it, right?! Keep on keepin on brotha man!

She texted me for advice on how to play a male and I told her to just say, "baby" a lot. Looks like she heeded it. Sorry, it looks like you got lost in the shuffle. I'm too lazy to go back and find your first post but I'm sure it was great...and this second post? Hooo baby, I love it! Way to go!

I don't typically like talking about other podcasts in this forum but "yummy" will, from time to time, find it's way into a lot of Lapkus characters, specifically, early Traci Reardon would oft say yummy

Great first post!

I'd say that of all the Hollywood Handbook podcast episodes to be released on June 16th 2015, this one has gotta be my favorite! Good job Andrew...wish you had worked in a way to say your famous Shark Tale catchphrase but, ya take what you can get.

Great first (and second) post!

#HailtotheKingBaby

Nope.

It was half joke and half truth and that's the Joe McGurl way, ya never know what side you're gonna get baby. keep em guessing and love will always find it's way in I actually do quite enjoy the show though.

More like Orange is the new CRACK! What an addictive and fun television show!

Sorry to tell you that you were wrong Chan man but Hurricane Dennis is the winner of the forums this week. I think we learned a lesson that declaring a winner on Thursday is a bit premature unless you say the winner is Hurricane Dennis or Greggy.

Chanson's 26 which is like 26 in human years. Wanna feel old? When Chanson was born, the movie Lincoln (2012) hadn't even come out yet...really makes you think right?

No, Joe McGurl is just my forum name. The whole persona is a lie and I found a picture of the dumbest fucking idiot I could find to use as my picture.

The forums are in perfect control baby. Controlled by me, Joe McGurl, the alpha-as-fuck ruler of the boards and everything known to man #HailtotheKingBaby

Hey Er Bear! Quick question, My dad said I was, quote, "The biggest mistake of his life" and, quote, I "disappoint him daily." So, my question, what's your biggest disappointment in life? Thanks, Your pal Joe!

That's why I'm the champ baybay

It was a dangerous time to be a cop. After the murders of Officers Crowder and McNally, the whole force was on edge. All except rookie Officer DefinitielyNotO.J.Simpson. He was a loose cannon with a really unwieldy name that forced him to wear two badges just to fit the name on the uniform. Sergeant Lachlann considered transferring him to the the 96th Precinct but with Crowder and McNally gone, he could use all the man power available, especially with the Mayor's Gala coming up. -- Officer DefinitielyNotO.J.Simpson looked at the assignment board. "You gotta be fucking kidding me....gate security?" This was bullshit. He knew that he was the best goddamn cop that Sergeant Lachlann had on the force. He should be Mayoral security or sniper duty at least... -- It had been a quiet night, to say the least. Officer DefinitielyNotO.J.Simpson had been sitting at his guard post stationed outside the gate for 3 hours now. The wind was bitter and the cool moisture in the air gave warning of rain. "Simpson!" A voice cried out. It was his partner Detective Nunez. "Break time, pal. Go inside and grab a bite but don't get comfy. Lachlann wants you back out here at the next hour." He checked his watch which read 6:27...33 minutes. It would have to do. As Officer DefinitielyNotO.J.Simpson walked the grounds towards the party tent he felt the rain starting to fall slowly. A big jolt of thunder cracked with lightning following right behind and lighting up the brisk June sky. Officer DefinitielyNotO.J.Simpson looked up at the mansion and admired the gargoyles that decorated the spires. He had always loved gargoyles ever since he was a boy and watched the cartoon on Saturday mornings. Another crack of thunder and flash of lighting gave way and suddenly he found himself falling to the ground....blood slowly pouring out of his mouth. -- Sergeant Lachlann was gathered around the body bag with Captain Finnerty. Lachlann had gotten the call early this morning after he just finished fucking Senator Chambers who he took home from the gala the night previous. He'd be lying if he told anyone he wasn't still drunk but a man has a duty to his city and to his force so he begrudgingly climbed out of bed and the warm embrace of Senator Chambers to find himself in the dank and cold fingers of the city's mortuary. Finnerty gave Doctor Jordan the nod and she began to unzip the bag. It was him. Goddammit. Another one. Officer DefinitielyNotO.J.Simpson's lifeless corpse lay on the slab of the cold chamber. Lochlann felt a strange sense of relief suddenly wash over him. DefinitielyNotO.J.Simpson was kind of a pain in the ass, he meant well and was probably a nice guy that made a mistake but...vengeance spares no man. "It's him." Captain Finnerty said. "There's something you should see," Doctor Jordan said. She flipped over the body of the reckless rookie rube and showed the men that scratched into his back with what must have been very sharp claws were the words "Joe McGurl's Hollywood Handbook Forum Guide" followed by a set of what looked like some really funny guidelines. No doubt this was the work of one of the boyz. "Lachlann. Did this kid have any family?" Finnerty asked. Lachlann shook his head no. "Okay. Burn the body, Jordan. Don't ask questions, just do as I say. This is the third murder in connection with The Gargoyle Boyz this month. We can't have word spread about another dead cop at their hands. Burn this body and Lachlann, erase him from the system at the precinct. Any mention of him. He's a ghost. He doesn't exist and he never did. Do it. At once." Lachlann saluted his captain and walked out of the room and down the long, quiet hallway. The only sound were that of his boots clacking against the ground, "A Gargoyle never forgets," he thinks...