Joe McGurl

This isn't canon

I wish I could promote how true this actually is

It is on hold, chum, that was just a general, "who cares?" to be thrown out to the universe. I think the timing just made a lot of people jump to conclusions. Couldn't be further from the truth. The McGurl-Treese-Peace Treaty is still in effect.

Who cares?

Yes, I am 6'6, as tall as Michael Jordan and much like Michael Jordan, I haven't played any sports since 2003 #recycledjokefromlastnight

Still waiting on those notes from the last hangout, Kob.

The goose is into it

Hey gang, a short film that I did last fall was just put up on youtube today. So if you'd like to check it out, you can do so here: It's less than 10 minutes and you get to watch me be very handsome and cute and also funny. You don't HAVE to watch but I'd certainly appreciate it!

Yeah right, Veebs, you can slit Rod Aug's throat all you want but you wouldn't dare watch Birdman without me! hahah good joke, you know that's our thing and I don't even care if Staz loses dem bangz, Birdman is us. Bridman is forever. We are Birdman and you wouldn't dream of it

I can make fake posters too now

Zsinjeh gettin down wit da clown

you've gone too far this time, Dan.

Dan Engler dares show his face in these forums after he laid a burn upon Sean and Hayes in the CBB forum? I don't know what they teach you over at The Wolf Den, DAN, but these streets are all about respect. The Wolf Den? More like the wolf DEAD! And I'm not talking about El Chupacabra's tag at the end of each episode homes.

"Toast it," Joe McGurl said. Joe McGurl was the coolest student Bayside High School had ever seen. Word was that he had sex with Kelly Kapowski in Principal Belding's office...while Principal Belding watched and jerked it ate lunch in the other room, totally out of view and not watching or jerking it but still...pretty cool and badass of Joe McGurl. Today, Joe was wearing a military jacket, combat boots and some stone-washed jeans that made him look a bit like Tom Cruise in Top Gun if you squinted. I always wanted to get into that cool inner circle but I was only a freshman and he was a senior, how could I ever be so cool and handsome? "Hey...Morris...are ya deaf? I said toast it." Oh, man. I'm blowing it. "How do I...I mean...I just don't think I can fit an entire badger inside this toaster, Joe." "You'll call me by my nickname, Morris. Only my mother calls me Joe and she actually calls me Joseph, so forget I even said that she calls me Joe. I smoked a stonie behind the gym so I'm a little high right now, sorry. The point is, is that no one calls me Joe, not even my mother." "Alright, sorry, Falcon." Jeez, that was close. I'm sweating bullets on the inside but I'm trying to keep myself together for Joe "Falcon" McGurl. "Look, fresh, I don't care HOW you fit the badger inside the toaster. When Falcon asks you to put a badger inside a toaster...YA PUT A BADGER INSID" This ends your free preview of "Before I Needed to be Saved by a Bell at All" to continue reading, please upgrade.

somethingsomethingsomethinglizardbrains

Mark: Why did Margaret report me? I just don't see the problem.. Janet from HR: You don't see any problem in what you said? Mark: I was just curious. Janet from HR: Do you want me to read back what you said? Mark: If you think that will help clear things up, sure. Janet from HR: Okay. "Hey Margaret, do you think you got that promotion because you're a woman and you have a great ass?" Mark: Yeah...it was a compliment. What's wrong with that question? Janet from HR: This question, Mark, is sexist. Happy International Women's Day

Great first post

Thanks for telling me you were in New York, Burgy, I could have come down to meet up!

My real name isn't Joe McGurl but rather a character I play on the forums so you should use a fake, real name.

Also, can you do a Michael Caine impression?

Hey Kumail, it's Joe. We were in Phi Beta Delta together but you were just a pledge back then and I didn't really give you the time of day. Sorry about that. JUST KIDDING DRINK UP FROSH!! Haha, no just kidding again, got ya nerd, anyway, for my question: I did an IMDB search and looked down the list of your credits and saw that you WEREN'T on The Birthday Boys. Can I get a birthday shoutout? HAHA HAYES ISN'T THAT EXACTLY THE TYPE OF QUESTION THAT I WOULD ASK?

Still waiting with baited breath to hear MBoP's notes on the hangout that he promised

This is Howie Do it

Thanks for the support. I always love reaching out to my fans! Basic bitches have been getting a bad wrap lately, and you know what? The haters are missing out because being basic is, well, basically the best thing ever! So what if you're obsessed with pumpkin spice lattes, #manicuremonday, and Forever 21 — enjoying things that lots of other girls love doesn't make you lame. It means you have good taste, duh! It's time to shout from the rooftops (of Target cause that's your fav store obvi) and claim, "Hey, yeah, I'm a basic bitch, and I'm proud of it!"