Joe McGurl

Ask, and ye shall recieve EDIT: I'm pretty much just mashing up animals right now guys but I think the results speak for themselves...clearly.

My favorite part about Nia's explosion is that she could not at all comprehend that Jordan and Sarah had to put them in the dome so they could be sure that Wes and Theresa go home.

Well since everyone is demanding to see more of my progress in photoshop...

Sounds a lot like Moondance to me

Just finished watching this weeks episode...holy shit. Nia's meltdown was just...beautiful

Great first return post. Welcome back Junkmaster, you're presence was missed. I theorized about your possible death but I think I got too close to the truth and the thought police tried to take me down.

The feud between Tim and I is well documented but not even I would attack the Popcorn Gallery theme. Much like, Saturday Night Live, the Popcorn Gallery is an institution that makes and breaks the careers of Hollywood Handbook forum posters. I was a nobody until Andy Daly answered my question on air and it propelled me into super-stardom. It's a pot-shot and a load of crock and I expect better. Insult Tim all you want. He's trash and we all know it...but you leave the Popcorn Gallery theme alone.

That's LIEUTENANT Commander La Forge to you, sir.

Fun fact: I reached out to him about a year ago actually and we had lunch in New York when he was there for an art conference. Really cool guy and a super talented artist. It's funny, his father's name is James and he has a brother named Brian and my father's name is Brian and I have a brother James.

I've been trying to teach myself Photoshop so I can hack it with all the cool photoshop people and get boffo likes on ALL my posts. Your reign as photoshop kings is over, Burgy and Dixy, there's a new sheriff in town and he's actually not a sheriff at all...he's the new photoshop king and he's really handsome and it's me.

Maybe I listened to this weeks episode and maybe I didn't. Truth is: I'll never tell.

Fate, it would seem, has smiled upon me today. Daddy's in for the big bucks (and big boobies )

Got laid off from my job at the theater today so that's been fun! Mondays amirite!

We still on for a Hollywood Hangout tonight?

That's a strong premise. That's a damn strong premise.

JOE AT THE BOTTOM Season 7 Episode 18 "BOTTOMLESS APPS" INT: SERVER ROOMLIGHTS UP: GARY (played by Tom Hanks) is sorting through some e-mails on his phone and smoking a cigarette. Enter our handsome hero, JOE, he's wearing a very expensive suit that really shows off his tight buns. He's carrying a package (and I'm not just talking about his sweet bulge that is getting the ladies REALLY hot and bothered.) JOE: Gary! Delivery for y-JOE notices GARY smoking JOE: Oh, for cryin out loud, Gar, how many times do I have to tell ya! If you want to smoke, DON'T do it in the server room! Aye yi yi!!! GARY: Sorry boss man! It's just that Gladys is stressing me out so much today! JOE: Listen listen listen now, I don't want to hear about your personal issues at home! I'm your boss and not your friend, ya got that kiddo? GARY: Yes sir, sorry sir. JOE: It's alright. Anyway, I got a package for ya here. This is all the literature for you to pass out around the campuses. We launch our app at midnight and I want every 20 something in the silicon valley to know about it! I got off the phone with my buddy at Apple and he says that as long as I give him those cookies on a stick my wife Lorraine bakes, he can plaster our app all over the front of iTunes! GARY: Forgive me sir, but what does our app do, again? JOE: What? GARY: I don't know what the app does. JOE: Gary, you're my lead software developer. We've been workin on this app for 7 months...how can you not know? GARY: Agh...it's just..all this stuff with Gladys is really messing with my hea- JOE: Ah ah ah! I don't want to hear about that remember! Now, to refresh your memory, our app is called "#1 Handsome Boy." It's a ranking system. Anyone who has their location services turned on gets immediately entered into the app and people vote who they think is most handsome in their area! At the end of the year, the 12 people voted most handsome go into a Thunderdome and fight in a battle-royale death match to see who is TRULY....*Joe looks into the camera*...the most handsome. GARY: Gosh! That's right! Sorry for the brain-fart, chief! You sure are smart..and actually...really handsome. JOE: (laughing) Heh, yeah, I didn't work my way all the way up from the bottom in that mail room to become CEO of JoEnterprises for nothing, sport! Anyway, I gotta go have sex with that new intern Kate Upton in my sex suite. GARY: You've earned it! JOE: No. You've earned THIS.JOE hands Gary a $2 bill. JOE: (smiling) Don't spend it all in one placeJOE walks out the door and his tight buns really do look great in the pants. GARY can't help but stare.Theme music "Started from the Bottom" by Drake begins to play quietly GARY: Heh. I sure do have a great job and a great boss! He worked his way from the bottom all the way to the top! Joe at the bottom! Who would have ever thought!?Opening credits roll

Great joke!

I went to a Chinese Buffet tonight. Instead of Margaritaville, he played Saki-ville.

5 stars for Castaway? Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeesh, Tim.

Speaking of podcasts, I just remembered me and my friend John made a podcast over a year ago and then he moved out to LA and we couldn't do it again. So listen to Jibber Jabber Junction, the podcasts critics said was "so good that we only needed one episode for it to be G.O.A.T."

I couldn't listen for more than a minute because these fuckin weirdos were whispering in my ears and being babies. Can I get a sum up?

Fish and chips!

This season has been so good, I just wanted to say

I shouted you out. Sorry for the spoiler

I can do bad all by myself (Sunday)