Joe McGurl

If das about me ima kill dat brgrho

I say tanks, but YES thanks to Thanksgiven! I'll sit at the table for dinner and say, "Ummmmm can someone pass me more potatoes cause Daddy hungry and this turkey is looking to get stuffed!!" Everyone laughs at that because I made a pun about a turkey getting stuffed and that's what happens on this holiday so it's a really great time in my house.

I wrote two haikus today: Best Buds a petite weiner hangs not so low in the pants but has two close friends Self-Portrait pizza pizza yes yes pizza yes yes yes yes pizza yes pizza Feedback appreciated.

I forgot to punctuate that entire last post, but I live life with no apologies. I play it fast and loose in the punctuation game because that's the only way to survive these mean streets. Sometimes you just gotta live with run on sentences so you don't find yourself on the wrong end of a drive-by shooting. #MoreRunOnSentencesLessPrisonSentences

I saw Nightcrawler tonight with Jake Gyllenhalls I was pleased disappointed and then pleased again I was pleased because it was NOT about creepy crawlies that come out at night but then disappointed because it was NOT about everyone's favorite blue X-Man Nightcrawler from the comic book X=man which I love because I'm a friggen nerd after I got over the disappointment I was pleased again because it was actually a good feelm and not about creepy crawlies at all so I liked it

You're a monster

If I had to pick any podcast that was titled Hollywood Handbook as my favorite, I would definitely pick this podcast named Hollywood Handbook as my favorite. My one word review for this episode: Delightful.

I administered a shit load of propofol into my system and just slept through the entire day to avoid all the spookings and hauntings. It felt great, I now know why Michael Jackson took it all the time!

Too scary.

I also notice that this quote might look sexual but it's not, I just want to watch your Dad eat food while I masturbate

I just noticed that that quote might look as if it has a sexual connotation but I assure you, I only want to see what other things he can fit in his mouth

I'd like to meet your Dad, slogurt. His mouth opens real wide

AF means "as fuck" which I learned from a 14 year old on instagram

Beta AF, bro

Side note: 302 posts is the number to beat for the most posts...we're close. Let's get this shit DONE

I have a two part question. Part one - Sean and Hayes, Who is your favorite person who posts on the forums every week and why is it Joe McGurl? Part two - Who is your least favorite person who posts on the forums every week and why is it Tim Treese?

One time I got a very juicy smoothie and it spilled all over me which was quite the tragedy and then my Uncle came up from behind and molested me but I was covered in all that juice farting the whole time which was REALLY embarrassing. I was just thinking, "Come on, Joe, you can't even get molested without letting out a few toots." That was the day that I decided to change my diet so I was less gassy. I give that day a 7 out of 10 overall.

Great stuff, Tim. Thanks

praying 4 u

I have a theater degree and am a classically trained Shakespearean actor and I can confirm that this is better than any of that junk Billy Shakes ever wrote. Veebs is the new bard. Bow down before her greatness

Cosmo is for readings? I thought Cosmo is television that astronaut Neel Da Grass Tyson is hosts of. Is Cosmo books or is Cosmo television or is Cosmo both and is actually movies? I'm more confused than ever!!

wate. r u tha girl from Charlie Buckland's after prom party that hooked up with Teddy Grossman? U wer so fukkin trashed that nite haha that shit was so fukked. anyway probly dont have a shot at homecomin cuz its prolly gonna be Clarissa Summers nd Frankie Capelotti but thnx anyway 4 ur support! u seem p cool even tho i dont really remember u mayb say hi if u c me in tha halls or some shit. xcept not wen tha boyz r around cuz that would b not kool. alright gotta get bak to friggen trig homework. fuk Mr. Bennet rite?! haha ok see u around

Too many new people. Can't keep up. Who am I? What is this? Where am I? I'm getting scared.