Joe McGurl

Sorry this is a classic voice to text blunder it was supposed to read whey I much like a famous Miss Muffett I will be sitting on my tuffett eating curds and whey

Got all my fingers caught in chinese finger traps and don't know how the heck to get them out and thats why I haven't been posting but I figured out the voice to text feature so now I am able to post I am so hungry and can't use my hands to eat so I have been shoving my face into pies at local bakeries around town and they have all banned me except for one and that is Toad's Patisserie I will go there later for whay may be my last meal ever this is a good show and provided me lots of laughs in my final moments

I think the guy likes X-Men!!! Haha no I'm only making a little joke, don't get upset. It wasn't serious at all. Just messing about, don't know why there is so much cable lying around. If I had to venture a guess though? I think it's probably cause he likes the X-Men!!!

More like Tawny AWESOME haha! This episode had it ALL! I was laughing a whole lot and I really love to do that. I am a big fan of this show and love to listen to it each week!! With hosts like Hayes and Sean, you can't go wrong! Looking forward to the next episode of Hollywood Handbook haha what a rush

FINAL LEADERBOARD 1) SaltPeanuts - 723 points 2) MarcusIrving - 653 points 3) JJPI - 624 points 4) RonnieHog - 593 points 5) Charlie - 580 points 6) Joe - 568 points 7) Asteck - 542 points 8) Fabio - 516 points 9) BeforeAfter - 495 points 10) Greggy - 476 points 11) Marshallmellow - 397 points After finishing last season in second to last place, congratulations to our own very own Gamechanger, SaltPeanuts for winning this season's Survivor Fantasy League!! Saltpeanuts took full control of the leaderboard in Week 4 and never relented, steamrolling the way to victory! Thanks to everyone who participated this season! This season was sometimes not super interesting to watch but doing the fantasy league really makes it much more exciting so I'm happy to do it and glad people keep taking part! I'll see you all in September for Survivor: Healers vs Heroes vs Hustlers. The worst fucking name ever. Mildly interesting fantasy stats: No one had picked Sarah to win but, Funny Before & After Name, was the only person to have her in the final 3 Culpepper was only picked by Fabio and myself to reach the final 3. Troyzan, like in real life, was not picked by anybody to reach the finals. Hali and Aubry were the most picked to appear in the finals appearing on 4 teams apiece. Michaela was the most drafted Survivor appearing on 10 out of 11 teams. Sierra Dawn Thomas was the least drafted Survivor, only being picked by Asteck.

IT'S ALL FOR YOU DAMIANCHARLIE Leaderboard SaltPeanuts - 669 points MarcusIrving - 609 points JJPI - 553 points Joe - 537 points Charlie - 534 points Davey - 533 points Asteck - 531 points Fabio - 478 points Greggy - 451 points BeforeAfter - 447 points Marshallmellow - 391 points

"Toast it," Joe McGurl said. Joe McGurl was the coolest student Bayside High School had ever seen and word was that he had a very big and good looking penis. The latest rumor about Joe was that he had sex with my friend, Kelly Kapowski, in Principal Belding's office while Principal Belding ate lunch in the other room, totally out of view and not watching or jerking it. Today, Joe was wearing a military jacket, combat boots and some stone-washed jeans that made him look a bit like Tom Cruise in Top Gun if you squinted. I always wanted to get into his cool inner circle but I was only a freshman and he was a senior, how could I ever be so cool and handsome? "Hey, Morris. You deaf?? I said TOAST IT!"; Oh, man. I'm blowing it. "How do I...I mean...I just don't think I can fit an entire loaf of bread inside this toaster, Joe," I replied to the stone-cold stud. "What'd you call me, Morris? Only my mother can call me Joe and she actually says Joseph, so forget I even said that she calls me Joe. I smoked a fat stonie behind the gym so I'm fuckin flying a little high right now, sorry. The point is, is that no one calls me Joe, not even my mother." "Alright, sorry...Hawk." Jeez, that was close. I'm sweating bullets on the inside and I'm trying to keep myself together but If I'm being honest, while The Hawk was yelling at me and staring daggers at me with his deep blue eyes, I could feel all the blood rushing from my head, down into my penis and I was getting mega engorged. "Look, FROSH," Hawk said with a steely glare, "I don't care HOW you fit the bread inside the toaster. When The Hawk asks you to put a whole loaf of bread inside a toaster...YA PUT THE LOAF INSID" This ends your free preview of "Before I Needed to be Saved by a Bell at All" to continue reading, please upgrade.

Leaderboard SaltPeanuts - 639 points MarcusIrving - 565 points JJPI - 535 points Charlie - 512 points Joe - 510 points Asteck - 509 points Davey - 493 points Fabio - 463 points Greggy - 438 points BeforeAfter - 418 points Marshallmellow - 374 points

oh ya and good funny episode or whatever "too scary" and also "speak on that!" Lol just joking those are some catchphrases from the show, might not have picked up on that but I am a big fan and love to say it

by sucking on the teet of corporate capitalist fat cats! This guy whored himself for stars like he's fricken Super Mario Galaxy ! Can't be mad at Greggy though because at the end of the day, we're ALL stars: filled with gas.

This....is NOTHING. You haven't even seen the full firepower this forum is capable of producing

This is CLASSIC Dengler tactics to distract from the true issue at hand and getting people to be swayed into his camp with shiny trinkets and badges and imaginary titles that mean NOTHING. Sorry but I became wise to these tricks years again. I am woke bae. I've taken the red pill and I know the true horrors of this message board. Stand with the resistance and don't be fooled by this jabroni and his meaningless distractions.

Strike us down and we shall become more powerful than you could ever imagine.

If you didn't understand what that loud sound you've been hearing over the past hour was, lemme tell ya, brothas n sistaZ...it's the sound of big honkin motorcycles. The bad boys are back in town. So you'd better fricken watch yourselves around these forums now.

I remember the first day that Kevin O'Brien called me with his idea for Fatty2Dicks, I said, "Wow, this is going to be something special." Terrible to see that his legacy has been ruined by Wolf Den shill, Dengler. Never thought I'd see the day where I team up with my famed forum feud partner, Tim Treese, but if we must join forces to take down this evil man....I suppose for the good of the forums, it shall be done.

I forgot how to log into my account now too. As soon as I figure this out, I will be back to making very good posts again. -Joe McGurl, your friend from online

No, YOU have been forgetting to post the points leaderboard for the past 2 episodes! Week 8 Leaderboard SaltPeanuts - 557 points MarcusIrving - 503 points Charlie - 469 points Joe & JJPI - 461 points Asteck - 453 points Ronniehog - 437 points Greggy - 396 points Fabio - 394 points BeforeAfter - 368 points MarshallMellow - 453 points

This episode was as sweet as candy due to hearing my good friend Intern Andy. Big laughs from the whole crew including Drew! Love my sweet boys and my sweet toys

Just finished the episode and really loved it. Took a few notes below: Josh Tillman, a.k.a. Father John Misty, is both a journalist’s dream and worst nightmare. His press conversations are hours-long marathons, making transcription a royal pain and a focus tough to pin down. On the upside, these chats overflow with quips and sound bites, meaning that writers really can’t go wrong with whatever they choose to include. Best of all, Tillman knows he’s an entertaining subject and relishes his notorious reputation. “I love the exhilaration of feeling a pull quote come out of your mouth,” he recently told The New York Times. “The words just taste better.” Tillman is the last person to embrace any sort of extreme duality, however—especially when it comes to his music or personality. “It drives me insane to see people say, ‘Josh Tillman, the person behind the Father John Misty persona,’” he told The Guardian. “People can either accept that I mean what I’m saying or think that it’s some kind of mumblecore, beta-male, self-aware trickery. The truth is somewhere in the middle. All of my music exists in the middle. People who want to see things in stark dualities are not going to get much out of my music.” For those reasons he outlines, Father John Misty records demand full attention. Throwing them on in the background while doing something else, or cherry-picking lyrics as a way to extrapolate meaning, is a good way to misunderstand Tillman’s musical nuance or intentions. Take, for instance, his debut of the new song “Total Entertainment Forever” on Saturday Night Live. Almost immediately, everyone homed in on the lyric “Bedding Taylor Swift / Every night inside the Oculus Rift,” launching a mini-storm of controversy. The irony is, the song itself is about the surreal and addictive nature of online entertainment, and the abundance of headlines about Tillman’s lust for (or lack thereof) Swift that swarmed to fill the void only proves his point about our abundant leisure time and how we choose to spend it. No wonder he told The Guardian, “Outrage is the new entertainment. That’s what Twitter is for.” Yet the attention-grabbing flamboyance of the Father John Misty mystique is lately proving to be inversely proportional to the actual execution of Tillman’s music. Pure Comedy is a placid, undulating folk record with orchestral flourishes—more precisely, a modern update of mellow AM Gold. The ’70s soft-rock purveyors Bread are a major influence on the cascading harmonies and meticulous songcraft of “Ballad Of The Dying Man,” while the specter of Captain Fantastic And The Brown Dirt Cowboy-era Elton John hovers over the title track and “Smoochie.” Any number of forgotten one-hit wonders from the ’70s live again through the record’s dry-straw acoustic guitars, molasses tempos, and Tillman’s sincerity-oozing tenor. Pure Comedy isn’t all Time Life collection homages, however. The record’s bursts of shivering strings add a slight avant-garde edge, thanks to arrangements by composers such as Gavin Bryars and Nico Muhly. (The latter’s contributions to “In Twenty Years Or So” ebb and flow like a brilliant sunrise.) “A Bigger Paper Bag” could slip onto Beck’s Sea Change, while “The Memo” has an eerie digital overlay of robotic voices, which provide sneaky commentary about the way technology intrudes on our lives. Yet despite these experimental flourishes, most of Pure Comedy remains beholden to musical tradition—and it must be said, a rather staid one at that. After a while, the lack of genuine hooks and the accumulation of meandering tempos combine for a rather sleepy listening experience. There’s no sly wink to all this tranquil instrumentation, with the possible exception of syrupy piano ballad “Things It Would Have Been Helpful To Know Before The Revolution.” There, Tillman’s straight-faced delivery lends an air of absurdity to lyrics such as “Sometimes I miss the top of the food chain / But what a perfect afternoon,” while surges of quivering strings and bleating horns create discord that mirrors its evocation of societal collapse. Such moments of deadpan humor keep Pure Comedy from becoming too monotonous, while also paying testament to Tillman’s growing lyrical savvy. Unlike 2015’s I Love You, Honeybear, which often used explicit and titillating imagery to create tension, the friction here comes from the distance between the album’s gentle instrumentation and its cutting subject matter. Tillman has grown into a biting social commentator, lashing out at political polarization and consolidation, our craven superficiality, and humanity’s penchant for wanton self-destruction. Pure Comedy is his subtle, unsparing takedown of modern society. “Two Wildly Different Perspectives” is a self-explanatory song detailing how maintaining stubbornly antagonistic perspectives ensures everybody loses, while “Birdie” envisions a planet that’s either sci-fi utopia or dystopian nightmare, depending on interpretation. “When The God Of Love Returns, There’ll Be Hell To Pay” uses biblical allusions (seven trumpets, swarms of locusts, the Pale Horse) to castigate God for creating humans, then acting surprised when they run amok and ruin everything. “And now You’ve got the gall to judge us,” Tillman says drily. “Maybe try something less ambitious the next time you get bored / Oh my Lord.” Pure Comedy excels when Tillman trains his observant side-eye on smaller targets as well. “Ballad Of The Dying Man” imagines what an anonymous Twitter troll might contemplate on his deathbed: that after he’s gone, nobody will be left to criticize “overrated hacks,” “false feminists,” and “pretentious, ignorant voices.” On “Leaving LA,” Tillman outlines many of his reasons for fleeing the city, snarking, “These L.A. phonies and their bullshit bands / Just sounds like dollar signs and Amy Grant.” Ever self-deprecating, Tillman includes himself in the ridicule. Elsewhere, on “Leaving LA,” he imagines that a 10-verse, chorus-free song might alienate some of his loyalists: “I used to like this guy / But this new shit makes me want to die.” Yet the very next verse is quietly devastating, as it’s based on a real-life childhood trauma: Tillman started choking on candy in a department store while Fleetwood Mac’s “Little Lies” played on the overhead. In the song, he calls his mom “Barbara,” in a nod to the formality of their relationship, and marvels at the sick incongruity of the situation: “That’s when I first heard the comedy won’t stop for / All the little boys dying in department stores.” In these moments, Tillman is both sardonic observer and participant, and while the title Pure Comedy comes with an implicit, “Can you believe this shit?” scoff, it’s redeemed by the fact that his heart isn’t totally black. The sweet “Smoochie” is about having someone levelheaded around to counter your personal demons, while the album ends with “In Twenty Years Or So,” a song that shrugs off impending apocalypse, embraces being grateful to be alive, and resolves to not let fear rule our actions. It’s not fatalism but a practical coping mechanism, and a faintly optimistic gesture of faith. But to find it, Tillman challenges, you have to listen to each and every word. Anyway, those are just a few quick thoughts I jotted down about the ep! Looking forward to another installment of Hollywood Handmen next week!

I think that this episode finally answers the question, "Is Podcasts art?" The answer right now is no but in 100 years it will be yes just my opinion it is a lot like Pablo Picasso. You don't have to agree with me but it is my opinion that is fact. Sorry sweetie, move along to the next post if you're offended because there is no safe zone here. Muah

Dan, please rename it to 1Best Boys. That way NOTHING can come before it. Also, please delete any trace of The Wolf Den from this website. You think I forgot my feud buddy boy? You're DAMN wrong

Week 5 Leaderboard SaltPeanuts - 353 points Charlie - 349 points Joe McGurl - 337 points MarcusIrving - 326 points JJPI - 298 points Greggy - 280 points Asteck - 276 points Ronniehog - 275 points Marshall Mellow - 267 points BeforeAfter - 266 points Fabio - 264 points Hali is so cute, I want to hug and kiss her, with permission of course

This whole time, I thought that Hollywood Handbook was a tv show that I only had the audio version of but now I am finding out that it is a podcast. Very disappointing because I hate podcasts and I will no longer be listening. Sean and Hayes, you have made a mistake and lost a loyal viewer. If you change to a Seinfeld or Frasier format, I may come back but for right now I am disgusted and will be killing myself

Great first post!