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Joe McGurl

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Posts posted by Joe McGurl

  1. Posted

    As a very famous New York City off-broadway actor, this episode really hit close to home for me. I could practically see the lights, hear the crowd and feel the homeless man sneezing into my face outside of the theater as I wait for the venue director being late to unlock the front doors because she, "didn't anticipate the line at Chipotle being so long." NYC baby, the city of brotherly love! No other place that I'd like to be!!

    • Like 20

  4. Posted

    Wowowowowowowowow what an episode this is a full on JEFF PROBST on the PROBST scale. Maybe tied for the best tribal council since "The Three Amigos" idol play in Caramoan. I went in thinking this gonna be Fishbach vs Joe and then Joe wins that immunity!! Kudos to the editors because I totally thought that Fishy was going home tonight! I felt like they were making Savage out to be this key figure who holds the Bayon alliance together deep in the game and then they fucking cut him out of the blue. Fucking brilliant man. This is the first time I can remember wanting to immediately rewatch the entire episode as soon as it finished. Anyway, here are the notes!

    • Wigglesworth just said more words in 6 seconds than she has all season long and it was immediately boring.

    • Joe slapped Keith's ass before the reward challenge. I wish Joe would slap my ass.

    • Damn. Wentworth got that Survivor bod going STRONG right now. Ay yi yi

    • Whose idea was it to send Abi first into the water to untie that crate? Keith on the other hand is a water God. Praise him.

    • Joe and Keith are a match made in my Survivor heaven.

    • Joe: Keith you gotta lift it
    • Keith: ...I don't know.

    • Probst: Joe carrying an entire box by himself THAT IS HOW YOU DO IT. JEREMY IS CARRYING A BOX ALL BY HIMSELF HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THESE MUSCLE MEN HOLY FUCK MY DICK IS ENGORGED BEYOND BELIEF
      • *Kimmi rollin a crate by herself*

      [*]Probst: ....

    • Ciera has nothing to lose, I'm digging her these past two episodes.

    • Keith gives absolutely zero shit about all this strategy talk.
      • IykcJRQ.jpg

      [*]Keith is my hero. #ToTos

    • I had no idea that I needed Keith driving a Tuk Tuk in my life but I really fucking did. Holy shit. Look at how much he loves this
      • vACBzSD.jpg
      • C3nwA7k.jpg
      • JRX9x8W.jpg

    • Imagine if Keith crashed and for the first time in Survivor history 6 people were med evac’d at once

    • You know that you're being a whiny little bitch when even Abi calls you a Debbie Downer.

    • Stephen:I can't deal with it. I'm having a really low moment.
    • Abi: Get over it.
    • I LOVE IT

    • Another ball challenge! Hell yeah baby my boy Keith loves his ball challenges!

    • Savage to his ball: ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮

    • Probst and the saga of ball innuendos continues:
      • "Keith and Joe both have two balls on their disc"
      • “One ball was tough. Two is definitely more than twice as hard!”
      • "Joe's balls start to move. Joe's balls move a little more"
      • "Those balls start to go in opposite directions and you’re in trouble."
      • "The wind is starting to blow causing Joe's balls to move"

    • Like major props to Survivor to having me be on the edge of my seat by watching two dudes balance balls. That was awesome.

    • NO NO NO NOT MY BB WENTWORTH YOU CUT THAT OUT RIGHT NOW YOU GUYS DON'T YOU DARE

    • Savage: Hey Fishbach is pretty strategically dangerous and a schemer so we should vote him out for sure. 100%
    • Jeremy: Hmmm...well what about...women.
    • Savage. Ah that's right. Women. Good argument. Yes okay, let's vote them out.

    • "I'm used to kinda getting what I want."
      • Which you wouldn't know coming from the very rich lawyer with a playboy model wife

    • Kass: ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮

    • Ciera is cutthroat HELL YEAH I LOVE IT

    • Ciera is just asking to be gif'd with all these eye rolls

    • OMG OMG OMG

    • WENTWORTH KWEEEEEN YASSSSSS SLAY SLAY SLAY I LOVE YOU MY BB

    • OMG OMG OMG OMG THEY DIDNT SPLIT THEY ALL VOTED FOR HER OMG OMG OMG

    • OMG OMG ITS SAVAGE LOOK AT HIS FACE OMG OMG

    • Abi: AT LEAST YOU MADE IT TO THE JURY
    • Savage: ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮
      • That is high quality Brazilian shade AND I LOVE IT

    • Like 11

  7. Posted

    Long story that was pretty funny and at one point mentioned blue pills and this will be important to the joke I'm going to post

     

    Hmmm, Lots of talk about "blue pills" in this story. So I guess that means SIlvrwoman took the blue pill and woke up in her bed believing in whatever she wanted to believe. I too had a meeting with Mr. Morpheus himself and chose the red pill to stay in Wonderland and see how deep the rabbit hole goes. Yes that's right, I am awake and aware of the true nature of The Matrix while you sheeple continue to sleep and stay blind to the fact that the Agents are taking over your world and stealing your apartment keys and forcing you to climb into windows and burning t-shirts with gnarly pit stains. The Oracle told me this day would come on the forums and that I was to be chosen as the savior but is this a forum worth saving? I don't know anymore. Maybe I should have taken the blue pill. Am I "The One?" Yes I think I am but now I'm reconsidering my whole life. I might just take the deal to jack myself back into The Matrix just like Cypher was offered by Agent Smith. Wow. A lot to think about today.

     

    Hey speaking of blue pills, how about that viagra shit huh? I've had a boner for like 6 months haha no just kidding that wouldn't be healthy but it would be fuckin funny as all get out. Knockin shit over in an old antique shop with my wood haha that's messed up

     

    #ThankYouVeterans

    Respect.gif

    • Like 15

  8. Posted

    Funny episode, or as I like to say, "Funny ep."

     

    I give this episode 5 HBJS out of 5

     

    On a scale of Weinie D to Full Scuzz, this one gets a "Cool Shane."

     

    HEY MR. WILSSSSOOOOON! IT'S ME DENNIS THE MENACE! - favorite line from my favorite movie happy Wednesday everyone you are all so funny except for the ones who aren't and I think you know who you are so I'm not going to call you out by name especially Andrew and Tim Treese.

     

    #ThankYouVeterans

    cGyfOl0.jpg

    • Like 18

  9. Posted

    Honestly, I think anyone could go home this week especially with a 13 people merge! Crazy!!!

     

    My prediction:

     

    Tasha wins immunity. Wentworth is on the bottom of the numbers and despite Joe's best efforts, the Bayon tribe aims to take her out. She plays her immunity idol and Kimmi goes home or something. I have no fucking idea! So many variables!!

     

    Oh and Happy Birthday to our favorite angel and brightest shining star

     

    1939803_10153108399028649_2965587257651108819_n.jpg?oh=7c26b88bedcd9364a763d851e785c9cb&oe=56BF4D89

    • Like 4

  17. Posted

    Great ep. Probably the best of the season. It gets the full PROBST from me! Onto the notes!

    • Poor Terry. That's a rough way to have to go out, especially for a strong competitor like him.
    • SPENCER AND KASS ARE TOGETHER AGAIN YES THANK YOU SURVIVOR GODS YOU LISTENED TO ME
    • Hell yeah Savage and Jeremy oiling themselves up like real men hell ya that's what we like
    • Fishbach is a human disaster at challenges.
    • Ooooh Joe gettin all oiled up now yaaa baby
    • tumblr_nwyotxawhC1txhkrbo1_400.gif
    • There is nothing that Joe cannot do.
    • I want to make a comment about Wentworth rubbing oil all over her body but I'll leave it at a "hubba hubba."
    • Savage is a really strange and intense man and judging by his confessionals, he wants to adopt Spencer as his son and then fuck him or something idk
    • I could've watched another 5 minutes of Keith yelling at Kimmi about proper campfire cooking
    • What is happening to Stephen? Jesus what a meltdown. It was your fault for taking JT to the finals last time bro, get over it
    • GROSS FOOD CHALLENGE YEAH MY FAVE!
    • Keith casually eating those water bugs like they're pieces of homemade beef jerky. That's my boy. No rush baby, just take your time. Really savor it
    • That fried scorpion actually didn't look that bad
    • Oh shit. I think Khaos Kass is back
    • WHY IS CIERA TURNING ON WOO AND NOT SAVAGE WTF
    • The Abidook has something to do with this FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
    • Oh no Woo! My sweet Woo :(
    • My reaction when Abi is still in the game
    • tumblr_nwor3m1g5e1rj04xho3_1280.gif
    • I didn't want either of them to go home, that was a tough tribal
    • I'll say this though, the prospect of a potential Spencer and Kass alliance is very entertaining to think about
    • I'm glad Terry's son is okay. He seems like a good dad and maybe one day we can toss the pigskin together
    • Merge next week?! Already?!? Damn this season ain't no joke!

     

    this season is bad imo

     

    no this season is very good

    • Like 8

  18. Posted

    oh and theres an injury, i think wentworth will be murdered by the vengeful spirit of koh rong, an ancient fisherman who was tormented by his tribesmen because he had a small penis. vowing to take his revenge for all eternity, he threw himself into the bonfire late one night and now roams the island, looking for babes to murder with the giant machete he carries (compensate much, buddy?). he attempts to strike again while people are voting at tribal council but jeff probst rips off his pooka shell necklace and throws it on the ground, banishing the spirit instantly. see, the necklace has actually been a powerful mystical amulet this whole time. jeff probst is a wizard.

     

    the shit these reality shows will throw at the wall for halloween specials, right guys?

     

    In this crazy game we love that we call, Survivor, anything can happen. Remember when Probst stopped Brandon Hantz from murdering Phillip by giving him a magical back rub? Probst just may in fact be a wizard, Greggy and it is for this reason that the winner of the Doritos JACKED 3D: Bold Prediction of the Week goes to...Greggy!

    • Like 6

  19. Posted

    Prediction: Two Players are OUT, I AGREE WITH MY FRIEND MARSHALL MELLOW

     

    Heartbreak at Ta Keo turns the castaways white as sheets

    It's time to say goodbye to our friend Terry Dietz!!

    When the tribes swap again (gotta stay consistent with my prediction last week but I don't think they will), schemes begin to cook

    And it's finally time to bid farewell to the wild and crazy Abidook!

    • Like 5

  20. Posted

    Great episode. I think when historians look back on podcasts that were released on the 27th of October, 2015 and feature Hayes Davenport, Sean Clements, Joe Wengert, Paul F. Tompkins as well as the characters of Douglas the trash can and Brandon Content with an appearance of Engineer Brett....there's no doubt in my mind that Episode 107 of Hollywood Handbook titled — "Paul F. Tompkins and Joe Wengert Present Brandon Content, A WolfCool Exclusive Character" will go down as the number 1 best podcast in the category. Wow.

    • Like 20

  23. Posted

    Mmm yes, today it would appear there are lots of old forumers posting and coming "back from the dead," I say welcome back y'all!. Well yes hmm yes it is indeed the most spooky month of all!

     

    And what is this that my elven senses hear? There's a shiver in my spine that shoots straight to my ear! Oh, I say! Oh no, this just will not do! It's the clattering of skellington bones and a ghost pirate crew!? Oh no! Oh my! Oh yes it must be! The grunting and groaning of a spooky zombie! .....

     

     

    I don't care enough to finish writing a stupid fucking story so you guys can pretend that the narrator gets eaten by a frankingstein or some shit. Too scary lol nah I'm just playin but for real

    • Like 22

  24. Posted

    I think I speak for all men on the forum when I say hey Anastasia really cool if you to "stop by" but we have young single girls now in case you didn't notice which you probably didn't since you never post anymore!!!!

     

    Anastasia is young, hot to trot and ready to open her sweet bakery to any of these fuckbois in here but they don't deserve her goods. She's got that dank shit and the good good that makes all the boys drool and go FUKKIN LOCO! How dare you.

    • Like 24

  25. Posted

    honlads, I'm afraid there aren't enough squares there for bingo.

     

     

     

    edit- I should add, my friend Dan was actually the one who pointed that out to me. I was so excited to play a new kind of bingo that fits my interests for once but he had to put the kibosh on it. Fine Dan, we'll play bingo your way, again.

     

    I'm getting so sick of this guy...

     

    It's HH Bingo, so you're supposed to spell out HH and not BINGO and that's why there are only two columns.

    • Like 16
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