Not_David_

God Bless America. And support our..........poops?!

Vampires come in the night time. So be sure to carry a moist towelette in your vampire readiness kit.

Call me Humpty Dumpty cuz you're cracking me up, dawg! Am I submitting these right? Cause they're gold (in my mind) and I wonder if there's some weird rules I'm not following. Oh well, fuck it, love the show!

I don't know about you, but I firmly believe that there ain't nothin' wrong with giving a charming wink. ; )

That sounds like something a whore would say.

You can wipe your ass with toast, but you'll still have to deal with the crumbs.

He took a long, deep drag off of his cigarette before he realized: hey! this isn't a cigarette, it's comedy bang bang!

Hey! I'm an unshaven and disheveled looking dick! Do you like my blue s[ch]weater?