Surferdude5269

It's a scorching 98 degrees in California today. Our Air conditioner is broken. Engineer Cody-Cody's got his speedo on, I'm Hot Saucerman, and you know TODAY, it's gonna be HOT on the POD!

Day-care? More like bear-care. Am I right?

Don't cry because it happened. Cry because you're sad. That's how emotions work, dummy.

Remembering is only half the battle. The other half is pizza.

Remembering is only half the battle. The other half is pizza.

Remembering is only half the battle. The other half is pizza.

Maybe we tried too hard. Maybe we loved too well. Maybe we ate too many pizza bagels. Either way, I'm gonna be sick.

Ever have one of those days where everything seems to be going wrong, and then life does a 180, and you're back to making Terminator movies?

The bible says "Be nice to your neighbor!" I say be SO nice to your neighbor that he files a restraining order, moves out of town, and then you get to keep all his stuff! It's a win-win!

If a tree falls in a forest, and no one is there to hear it, will Allstate still cover the damage to my house?

Make up, or break up, but I wouldn't want to wake up with giant cucumber fingers.