danpinto

I never watched 20th Century Fox's "Rio" but I assume it is a Duran Duran biopic featuring lots of birds.

Hinduism is all like "YOLO? Yeah, right."

Remember that episode of Coach where he flew to an unnamed country to recruit a kicker? You shouldn't. Cause no one remembers that episode.

Die Hard - Cleverness + the President = Olympus Has Fallen.

Who's your favorite member of the Hong Kong Cavaliers?

A man got on the train repeating the name "Channing Tatum" out loud to himself. Now he's rapping about "keeping it gangster"

People are complaining that the new JJ Abrams Star Trek is full of explosions. It's like they didn't watch the first JJ Abrams Star Trek.

I bet that guy I saw yesterday wearing a weird St Paddy's day Dr Suess hat named Josh.

Actually, it's more like a Jurassic Park 4 elevator pitch.

A spam bot favorited my tweet. Weird. http://t.co/vSxv2FHCZI

I uninstalled instragram from my phone and, with that, gave up any dream of pursuing a career in photography.

Girl, are you 31st American President Herbert Hoover, cuz dam.

I'm the exact right age for this shit. #LethalWeapon5

In Mulan, the song "A Girl Worth Fighting For" is sung by Mulan and her fellow soldiers but 2 of those soldiers are clearly gay.

If you contact me for work and your email ends with "Xx" or "420," I will not be working for you.

I'm trying to get over my bad music addiction. It's a dub step program.

I know I'm late on this but, guys, Newsies is kinda great.

I don't think Spring knows how to get sprung.

Maybe Tilda Swinton just doesn't own a bed?

Jedi in the streets, Sith in the sheets.

Is she a good girl because she's crazy 'bout Elvis? Or is she a good girl AND she's crazy 'bout Elvis? We need answers, Petty!

Get Rid Of Slimy girlS

Aim for the moon cuz if you fail you'll likely drift aimlessly in space until you run out of food/water/oxygen and die a very painful death.

I wonder if gay people think about straight sex as much as straight people seem to think about gay sex?

A British author must escape a horde of Muslim extremists armed with nothing but a bike in: Premium Rushdie